Once there was a Presbyterian minister who had made the whole topic of sola fide his special field of study. He had mastered the subject, as far as any mortal man can be said to have mastered anything. After a long and fruitful ministry, he eventually did what all Presbyterian ministers do, which is to …
Forensic Electrical Theory
Once there was a little toddler who had just learned to turn on the lights. He was very pleased whenever he had an opportunity to do so, and so his parents took to asking him to perform this valuable service whenever possible. One evening, this family had a bachelor over to dinner, and as it …
Sticky for Weeks
“May I please come in?” the new wine said. The old wineskin looked at the new wine with eyes kind of squinty. “I am not sure that would be entirely wise.” “Nevertheless, that is my request.” “Would you promise to be good?” “I can promise to act according to my nature.” “That is what I …
Now You Tell Me
One night, after having consumed far too much pizza, an old school Presbyterian minister retired to bed. About two in the morning, after much turning and spindling up in the covers, he awoke in a sweat, and there, hovering over the foot of his bed, in a nimbus cloud of glory, was the Westminster Confession, …
Capitol Prayers
Once a fledgling minister was sitting quietly in the back of presbytery. He had not yet learned all the ropes, and was silently enduring until the time came when he would be called upon to speak. He had made it through three meetings of presbytery this way, and it looked as if it was soon …
The Golden Stumbling Block
Once there was a man who was studying in the Graduate School of Theology. He knew many Doctrines, and he knew three times as many Rejected and Suspect Doctrines. He was constantly disputing with his instructors, and fellow classmates, and he justified this as being necessary as a Student of the Word. He thought he …
On His Last Legs
A diamondback rattlesnake checked into the emergency room of a hospital. He could scarcely breathe, slipped into unconsciousness, and the emergency staff hovered over him carefully. Their care increased all the more as the periodic death-rattles increased in frequency. All the appropriate medical treatments were being applied, for the staff were a dedicated group and …
A Continuing Witness
Once a staunch Presbyterian was shipwrecked on a desert island, just like Robinson Crusoe. He was of the rock-ribbed sort, and being a thorough-going predestinarian, took this sort of thing in stride. When it came to suffering adversity, he was at his best. But of course, he also had to deal with some of the …
The Scribes and the People
Because of a successive series of synods, ecumenical councils, general assemblies, and graduating classes of the seminaries, the Christian people of the land were greatly impoverished in their souls. Because of this, a great lament arose, and the people of all the congregations were greatly discouraged and wept most copiously. A traveler from another region …
Going to Presbytery
Once there was a Presbyterian minister who was conducting an illicit affair with another woman in another city. As such things go, his wife found out about it when she discovered some papers in his briefcase that revealed he was planning to meet up with his amour when he traveled to presbytery the following week, …