Once a young boy lived in a small village on the edge of a great empire. The empire was Christendom, the province Reformatia, and the village had the odd name of Splinter. The elders of the village were solemn and august men, and usually sat on a long wooden bench in the village square, near …
The Agreeable King Assensus
Once upon a time, the king convened a great synod of all the parachurch ministries, and because the times were troublous, they all of them came. WildLife Youth Stampede was there (WYS), the Gospel Blimp Organization (GBO), and IIMEI (If It Moves, Evangelize It) and many others like that — yea, all the staff members …
A Synod of Owls
Once a great synod of Reformed owls gathered together for a confabulation of their wits, to wit, putting their brains together to solve a problem that had long roiled the world of owley Reformedness. Now, in that last sentence, I must confess that I was sorely tempted to write, “of their wits, to wit, to …
Going to Memphis
A certain man was traveling to Memphis, and as he drove along the highway, he saw one of those big green road signs that said, “Memphis, 250 miles.” This was not unusual, but what was unusual was the cluster of cars, tents, and Winnebagos around the base of the sign. Curious, he decided to stop. …
Two Towns Over
A much overworked session of Presbyterian elders had just finished the hard and thankless task of disciplining their minister, a man who taught that being a Christian was an objective reality, marked by baptism, and that being a faithful Christian was a covenant requirement, to be marked by evangelical faith, hope and love. This was …
The Greatest is Faith
Once a young minister was summing up what he believed was the safest sermon he had ever preached. This had become necessary because certain members of the session had begun looking at him funny, and making comments that had words in them like hypercovenantal and not Klinean, and phrases like “went to seminary with.” So …
Bestminster Best
Once two seminary professors at Bestminster Theological Seminary were walking together, heads bowed as they were deep in theological conversation. Their topic concerned the depths of the wisdom of God in the salvation of sinful man, and it was consequently slow going, as though they were try to paddle a canoe across a lake of …
Effectual Means of Salvation
A young ministerial candidate was asked whether his sacramental views comported with those of the Westminster Standards. This line of questioning was a novelty to him, and so he asked for a copy. One was quickly produced, but when it became apparent that he was not going to swear on it, but on the contrary, …
A Woman Named Faith
A woman named Faith once gave birth to twins, who were boys as it turned out. The firstborn was named Justification and the second was named Sanctification. As word spread in the village and throughout the region, it became impossible to keep this information from the moderator of the presbytery, who lived in a nearby town. …
Wu Tang Presbytery
A minister of tender years was once receiving theological bastinado from concerned brethren at Wu Tang Presbytery. He had been working three jobs in order to keep his family fed, and so his time for sermon preparation had fallen woefully short. This was not the direct cause of his problem, for had he received his …