On His Last Legs

A diamondback rattlesnake checked into the emergency room of a hospital. He could scarcely breathe, slipped into unconsciousness, and the emergency staff hovered over him carefully. Their care increased all the more as the periodic death-rattles increased in frequency. All the appropriate medical treatments were being applied, for the staff were a dedicated group and had some hope of saving him. This continued until the snake briefly regained consciousness, and whispered what had happened. When he did this, all the medical practitioners there slumped in despair, hands hanging by their sides. There was no hope now. And why not? The snake had whispered, “I was bitten by an internet theologian.”