One time a minister bought a parrot, and it wasn’t until that he had brought the parrot home that he discovered a key difficulty with his purchase. The parrot was almost a non-stop cusser. His previous owner had apparently taught the parrot every bad word found in the English language, and it was to these …
Some People Like Groaners
A man walked into a bar with a dog, and told the men at the bar that he was willing to bet them a round of drinks that his dog was actually a talking dog. “You’re on,” one of the men said. The man turned to his dog and said, “What is on the top …
Trust Your First Instinct
A novice youth minister was given the assignment of giving a little children’s message to the kids in front of the whole congregation, just before they were all released into children’s church. He was a little nervous, but he had his illustration well-prepared, and thought he was set to go. So the kids came down …
That’s a Good Idea
A guy was driving down the road and got a flat just outside the fence of an mental hospital. Muttering to himself — he was having a bad day — he started to change the tire, but nothing about it was going right. As he was changing the tire, a bunch of the inmates came …
A Rocking Chair in Heaven
Once there was a man who had spent many, many years in back breaking work. What he didn’t know about the uses of a shovel wasn’t worth knowing. One day at the tail end of a hot day and a very long ditch, he paused for a moment to talk with a young man in …
On the Internet, You Can”t Hear the Groaning
Q. What is green, Irish, and comes out every springtime? A. Patio furniture!
Gotta Be the Right Kind of Nothing
A very fine minister with silver hair was walking through the sanctuary of his church one day, and, as it happened, the sun was shining through one of the stained glass windows, and hit the altar just perfectly. He was overwhelmed with a sense of his own unworthiness, and so he ran down to the …
Two?
A Scots Presbyterian was once washed up on a desert island, and was stranded there for ten years. Fortunately, he was a son of a hardscrabble people, and was even harder in his theology. This meant that as the years went by, his work ethic produced quite an impressive array of huts, sheds, shelters, and …