Modified Stationary Freak-Out

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Introduction

So Donald “Jehu” Trump comes to the Left’s estate sale, looks at an expensive vase left by their deceased grandmother, and offers them ten bucks for it. “Ten dollars?!?!,” they screech in unison. “That is worth two thousand, at least.” What kind of idiot offers ten dollars for a two thousand dollar vase? After he leaves, having paid two hundred dollars for it, they all have a good laugh among themselves. What a maroon. How did he ever get where he is?

My title provides a little hat tip to Patrick McManus, but my application is not to hapless hunters lost in the woods, but rather to the Left, which really needs to be cautioned to husband its outrage a little better. While they are all lying on the floor panting, recovering from this last weekend’s immigration protests, they are going to be immediately confronted with a nomination to the Supreme Court. And three days after that, something else.

People who are freaking out make very bad poker players.

The Opening Gambit

Scott Adams, the talent behind Dilbert, has been remarkably prescient about Donald Trump from the beginning of this whole gaudy series of events. Here he is on what Trump is doing in this immigration snarl.

My takeaway is this.The idea is not that Trump is an ideological conservative, but rather that he is a pragmatist who knows what he wants, and how to work people until he gets what he wants. As it happens, thus far, what he wants lines up with what a lot of movement conservatives like, but that need not be the case. Thus far we thank the Lord. Thus far we continue to watch with interest. And thus far the Left has been enormously helpful.

Twenty Percent Tariff

Take another example—one of the ideas that was floated from Trump as an example of “Mexico paying for the wall.” What if we paid for the wall by slapping a twenty percent tariff on goods imported from Mexico? Now for anyone who understands basic economics at all, this would not be an example of Mexico paying for the wall. Mexico is paying for the wall only in the sense that Mexico and paying are found in the same sentence. “Customers buying goods produced in Mexico are paying an extra twenty percent, which will fund the wall.” See? Mexico, paying, and wall. They are all in there, Trump says. And the crowd roars.

In short, if such a policy were to be implemented, it would be Americans paying for the wall. And so Trump is charged with some “America first” inconsistency. Ha! What do you say to that?

But he is not trying to pay for the wall that way. He is trying to freak out the people is going to be negotiating with. And thus far, it has worked every time. Do manufacturing companies in Mexico want their goods to suddenly cost twenty percent more in their prime market? No, they don’t. Might they lean on their politicians the way American business leans on our politicians? Yes, they might do exactly that. Might that affect negotiations later on? Why, yes, it might.

Actually Paying for the Wall

So we are going to build a wall, and it has been said that Mexico is going to pay for it. I have a modest proposal in this regard. Why don’t we let Mexico pay for the wall by selling California to them? We could get a really good price, and that would translate into a really good wall. It would be a terrific wall. That would be important because it would have to go a little farther, and then along the southern border of Oregon.

Seriously Though . . .

So what are we as Christians to think about immigration? I mean, how are we to break this down biblically? I have two basic points to make at the outset, but which will obviously require further development. As long as Trump is president, we are going to be discussing immigration, and so let us get to it.

I want to point out the rapid emergence, once again, of what I call “jubilee theonomy.” This is where folks cherry pick certain happy verses from the Old Testament, and apply them in a manner that ignores every rule of exegetical responsibility. These are contextless smiley face verses, not whole counsel of God verses. Jesus was browner than we are, his family once fled into Egypt, which is in the Middle East, and ta da!, we have a refugee family, one that would be turned away by Donald J. Trump. Who did that to Jesus.

They forget how severely they chide theological conservatives for drawing an identity between America and ancient Israel. So wait. Are we supposed to do that, or are we not supposed to do that?

The second point is this. To debate “open borders” makes no sense at all. Open to what? I want borders that are easy to cross—for merchants, workers, tourists, and so on. Furthermore, I want borders that are easy to cross both ways. Remember that walls can keep people in as well as out. Remember that our border patrol currently has the authority to establish check points between New Mexico and Arizona, and there to stop some Yankee from Vermont and ask for his “papers, please.”

At the same time, we don’t want borders that are open to drug cartels, food stamp aspirants, terrorists, and so on. And so, once again, we are confronted with that age-old question, the one that we are resolutely refusing to answer. By what standard? We are having to make difficult decisions. By what standard are we making them?

So the issue is not what we think of “refugees.” To the extent that we are supposed to be in the place of ancient Israel, the blessings and curses are revealed in whether we are the head or the tail (Dt. 28:13). People streaming across the border could be evidence of God’s blessing—people like Ittai the Gittite being attracted to the service of King David, say. They could also be streaming across the border in a way that completely flummoxes the hapless Queen Angela Merkel.

The issue is not whether we have a border, or whether people are crossing it, or what direction they are traveling. The issue is this—are we living under the blessing of God? Are we the head or are we the tail? Fortunately, there is a way to tell, and I hope to get to that topic soon.

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Rob Steele
Rob Steele
7 years ago

Outrage Inflation. The left is devaluing its currency.

The other day the Mexican president said something like “There is no way Mexico is paying for the wall.” Note that he assumes that there is a wall. This shows that President Trump (woo hoo–I love saying that) has successfully got into his head. He has sold past the sale. The Wall is a thing. This is salesmanship 101. I expect liberal frenzy is part of the plan too.

"A" dad
"A" dad
7 years ago

I predict that any new Trump administration vetting process will be far less Biblical than God’s Midianite vetting process! ????

Ben
Ben
7 years ago

I think it’s ironic that left-leaning Christians insist the secular government act based on Christian ethics while habitually chiding the religious right for doing the very same thing.

mkt
mkt
7 years ago
Reply to  Ben

Yes, I’ve long said that “progressive” Christians are highly-selective theonomists. They want open borders and nothing else from the OT. Never mind that if Muslims were around in theocratic Israel, they certainly wouldn’t be able to build mosques or openly practice their false religion.

Kilgore T. Durden
Kilgore T. Durden
7 years ago
Reply to  mkt

In my experiences, they want Christian ethics practiced, so long as they agree with secular ethics, as if that can really be anything beyond feelings. In other words, it is a manipulation tactic to gain support.

Kilgore T. Durden
Kilgore T. Durden
7 years ago

I want borders that are easy to cross both ways. Those of us who voted for Trump, generally speaking, do not. I suppose I would be a bit more amenable to a border that is a bit more accessible for outsiders, except that the goal of that program presently is to use our democratic system against us. Bring in enough “refugees” who vote overwhelmingly to give power to secularists who want to destroy our Christian heritage, and use Christian sympathies for the destitute to emotionally manipulate us into going along, and before one knows it, we are being forced to… Read more »

Christopher Casey
Christopher Casey
7 years ago

I think my ideal would be a border that is difficult yet simple if that makes sense.

Kilgore T. Durden
Kilgore T. Durden
7 years ago

I would need some specifics to make sense of what you mean. I guess I would agree if you mean a border should be controlled by the simplest way to control a border to benefit the country controlling it.

Rob Slane
Rob Slane
7 years ago

It’s Angela Merkel, Doug, not Merkle. Small point perhaps, but as someone with a son-in-law whose name is Merkle, I thought it worth setting your mind at rest that he may not be as closely related to the German Empress as you might have thought :)

ashv
ashv
7 years ago
Reply to  Rob Slane

I’ve occasionally wondered if he’s related to Ralph Merkle.

Kilgore T. Durden
Kilgore T. Durden
7 years ago

They could also be streaming across the border in a way that completely flummoxes the hapless Queen Angela Merkle.

It is worth noting here, that this is just more evidence that Isaiah was right when he said that women ruling over a people is actually God’s judgment on them (Isaiah 3). Perhaps, we should go in the opposite direction as them as it regards the refugees crisis.

ME
ME
7 years ago

Well, at least in my neck of the woods, the desire for immigrants has a certain feminine flavor to it, in both the men and the women,in the sense that they’re all like a bunch of crazy cat ladies. They care, so, so much they just want to rescue all the kitties from the heartless people like me. And yet I keep have nightmares about animal hoarders where all those cats are now living in filth and feces and no one even bothers to remove the dead anymore.

Kilgore T. Durden
Kilgore T. Durden
7 years ago
Reply to  ME

I hate cats as it is, and now I have that image in my head.

Thanks for nothing. Lol.

"A" dad
"A" dad
7 years ago
Reply to  ME

Crazy cat lady.

Possibly the best Simpsons character ever!
????????????

ashv
ashv
7 years ago
Reply to  ME

Hoping for a study on toxoplasma prevalence in open-borders advocates someday.

ME
ME
7 years ago
Reply to  ashv

There’s been some interesting research into toxoplasmosis and schizophrenia.

Tragic I’m sure, but somewhat comical if we suddenly discovered that most of our political problems actually stem from some kind of massive parasite infection.

bethyada
7 years ago
Reply to  ME

Well socialism is parasitic.

jillybean
jillybean
7 years ago
Reply to  ME

Is that why pregnant women should not scoop litter boxes? I was the only one in my household who would go near it, so I used to gown up with gloves and mask while I was pregnant.

ME
ME
7 years ago
Reply to  jillybean

Yes. We use an abundance of caution and try to steer pregnant women away from liter boxes. We don’t want to create anymore socialists. :)

It’s really a fascinating parasite,something right out of a science fiction novel.

LittleRedMachine
LittleRedMachine
7 years ago

Speaking of women ruling over people, has anyone seen Justin Trudeau lately?

jillybean
jillybean
7 years ago

The champion boxer who defeated a black belt? Why do you think he is womanly? Do you think you could take him on?

M.K.K Johnson
M.K.K Johnson
7 years ago

As for the California wall, place it at the coastal mountains. There are a lot of us inland residents who would be grateful for the protection.

John Wilson
7 years ago

Love the article! Missing word.

He is trying to freak out the people is going to be negotiating with.

He is trying to freak out the people he is going to be negotiating with.

ashv
ashv
7 years ago

So far Mr Trump has exceeded my expectations. Long may he and his sons reign over us.

Hopefully at this rate we’ll be seeing moves to end birthright citizenship (retroactively) by the end of the year.

ME
ME
7 years ago
Reply to  ashv

Well, you made me laugh.

Rick Davis
Rick Davis
7 years ago

It seems like most of the objections to open borders regarding things we need to keep out are due to the government anyway. Food stamp aspirants? Not a problem if we did away with food stamps and the welfare state. Drug cartels? Wouldn’t have existed if not for the government-run war on drugs. Terrorists? This is a bit tricky, but I think one could make a case that there wouldn’t be a problem with Islamic terrorism on an international level if President Wilson and his cronies had never carved up the middle east up into nations at the end of… Read more »

Kilgore T. Durden
Kilgore T. Durden
7 years ago
Reply to  Rick Davis

I don’t totally disagree that our government has caused many of the problems we face from the outside, but one should not think that the original sin is government. Mankind would still use drugs, and Islam, and greed, and sloth as a means to sin regardless. This is the blindingly obvious flaw with Libertarianism. Strong borders and a theonomic basis for our laws will always be necessary this side of glory.

Rick Davis
Rick Davis
7 years ago

People would certainly still use drugs. People will always make bad, sinful choices. They will always continue to be drunkards and to chain-smoke their way to an early grave. My point was that you wouldn’t have to worry about shoot-em-up drug cartels and drug violence from across the border. It’d be awfully hard for those guys to compete in a world where, like in Victorian England, people could pop off to to their local pharmacy to buy their cocaine.

ashv
ashv
7 years ago
Reply to  Rick Davis

The primary objection to open borders is the objection to being invaded by foreign nations. If one believes there is value in one’s nation, country, and community, then border security is an obvious conclusion from there. (Which tells you what people pushing open borders think of these things.)

bethyada
7 years ago

This is where folks cherry pick certain happy verses from the Old Testament, and apply them in a manner that ignores every rule of exegetical responsibility.

Can’t remember where I first saw this, may have been here. But worth a read on immigration in the OT: http://www.patheos.com/Topics/Immigration-and-Refugees/The-Use-and-Abuse-of-the-Bible-in-the-Immigration-Debate-James-K-Hoffmeier

Mark Hanson
Mark Hanson
7 years ago
Reply to  bethyada

Thanks for a very useful link!

Eric Cooper
Eric Cooper
7 years ago

Patrick F. McManus is one of my favorites! Well played.

K Swan
K Swan
7 years ago

I doubt that people asking Christians (or anyone) to act more in line with Christian commitments should count as recommending any sort of theonomy. For one thing, not implementing a law restricting movement across borders doesn’t count as implementing Old Testament laws. Surely, the state can decide not to implement a law restricting movement across borders without implementing *any* laws, let alone Old Testament ones.

Dunsworth
Dunsworth
7 years ago
Reply to  K Swan

If they are arguing that the Bible’s teaching on “sojourners and aliens” binds Christians to support or refuse to support certain laws pertaining to immigration, they are in fact arguing for the limited implementation of Old Testament law concerning the treatment of outsiders. There is really no way around that.

If they are arguing on a different biblical basis, then they’re not open to that charge. But there are in fact those arguing that way.

K Swan
K Swan
7 years ago
Reply to  Dunsworth

Arguing that a law shouldn’t be implemented cannot be considered arguing for even a limited implementation of Old Testament law. Someone around here sells a pretty good logic textbook where you can see why this is.

mkt
mkt
7 years ago
Reply to  K Swan

It is when the said “arguers” continually quote a few select verses about how aliens were to be treated in OT Israel. If those texts are binding (or trustworthy guides at the very least), why isn’t the rest of the Pentateuch? You don’t get to pick and choose texts without a better defined stance.

mkt
mkt
7 years ago
Reply to  Dunsworth

Right. And as I said, the crowd quoting those verses would be horrified about applying most anything else from the Mosaic Law to modern society. Bethyada linked to a helpful blog post on this topic from a seminary professor. He shows that these passages are a lot more nuanced and complex than our progressive friends realize.

Billtownphysics
Billtownphysics
7 years ago

One thing to keep in mind is that in ancient cultures, walls were not built around countries, but around cities. (That whole Nehemiah thing). So there is biblical precedent to building walls of defense. But the economics of building a literal wall across the whole southern border are crazy. Also, biblically, we are to treat aliens among us with love and respect, so there are two things to consider: biblical self-defense against the bad guys, and being hospitable to refugees that need a safe place to settle sometimes. I don’t think both goals are mutually exclusive, we just need to… Read more »

ashv
ashv
7 years ago

But the economics of building a literal wall across the whole southern border are crazy.

Crazy compared to what?

Also, biblically, we are to treat aliens among us with love and respect,

Note the article bethyada linked to. “Foreigner” and “sojourner” are different categories. There’s a difference between invited and uninvited guests.

wisdumb
wisdumb
7 years ago

We don’t have an immigration problem, we have a welfare problem.

ashv
ashv
7 years ago
Reply to  wisdumb

Why not both?

wisdumb
wisdumb
7 years ago
Reply to  ashv

Our main problem is as stated in the article, but I’m talking about in a political sense.

Not both because our illegal immigration is roughly equal to the number of abortions we have allowed; they are filling up a void in demand, and changing the nation’s demographics at the same time. Just another curse from abortion.

ashv
ashv
7 years ago
Reply to  wisdumb

LOL

LittleRedMachine
LittleRedMachine
7 years ago

Looks as though President Trump has nominated a reliable conservative, Scalia type justice. Thank you.