Letters in a September Hue

This all reminds me of a lesson I taught a few years ago to my 6th grade choir. The demographic of the group was 70% boys and 30% girls. While we sang 90% of the time in class, the other 10% was dealing with issues of the day. The majority of the children were first generation Americans (some by legal parentage and some by not. California, what can I say?). Trump had just been elected and many were upset because their parents were upset, and thus began the discussion about the kind of governance we have here. I tried to explain the difference between a republic and a democracy. I decided we would have a democratic vote in class ( 51% would rule 49%). The issue we would vote on would be this: “The boys will have free time today on their cell phones and the girls will have to sit quietly with hands folded and no cell phones”. We never got it to an actual vote because the girls went ballistic. The lesson was well learned.

Melody

RE: Psychotic Empathy—Feminists: You can have Lindsay Clancy or you can have the 19th Amendment, but you cannot have both.

fp

Thanks for the Norm MacDonald reference. I got a chuckle out of that. Made me remember my all time favorite Norm joke . . .
Never gets old . . .

Ryan

I am only writing to thank Jane Doe, who you featured on your September 1 post, and to remind you that you will never succeed in the goals you hope to achieve regarding the 19th.
Enjoy your current proximity to our halls of power while you can, because this is the closest you will ever come. Women will never not vote, and the U.S. will never be a Christian nation.
Jane, if you’re reading: you’re in excellent company.
And finally, women do not owe you niceness when all you have for us is hatred.

Jill Doe

In your video responding to tiktok parenting, one had a child screaming “no” loudly. I agree this folly needs to be trained. Do you recommend that always be done by spanking? And an additional question, how do you suggest handling “a live one” who really is kicking and fighting spankings with vigor (3.5 yr old)? Is there room to allow things to cool off and then administer discipline or is that just disciplining on their terms?

Anon

I was pretty surprised to hear Dr. Mohler say that dispensationalism has timed out and has massively lost influence. Since you likely have his contact info, may I suggest that you ask him to do two things?
Apologize for fifty plus years of misdirection and cultural pessimism.
Have all the SBC churches print an announcement in their church bulletins letting their congregations know that dispensationalism has timed out.
Maybe Dr. Mohler could suggest that the Calvary Chapel folks do the same.

Mark

Like Talking to a Fire Hose
Bravo for going toe to toe with Mehdi Hasan! You held your own against a constant onslaught of blah blah.
And I thought Cathy Newman was the champ at verbal assault . . . sheesh, Mehdi, take a breath!

Jack

I hope you’re doing well. As mentioned before, I’m writing the first draft of a novel. While I write, I also read, as one must. I’ve had the pleasure of reading (listening to it on Canon+) your book, “No Such Thing As Bad Words.” It is a fun read/listen, and I’ve enjoyed your arguments within the book. I also recall listening to one of your son’s SASF episodes where he mentions that some characters in one of his books said either “gosh” or another actual curse word. This made a Canadian Dutch Reformed reader angry. In this episode, N. D. explains that authors can portray characters sinning. In those aforementioned moments in his book, those characters were sinning.
In my story, my characters live in a culture/place where swearing/cussing/bad word usage is (almost) an art form. Obviously, I would not want to go overboard and portray everyone like they are a character in a Tarantino film. Rather, I would want to toe the line between accuracy and . . . well, pleasing our Lord. I do not think I should sacrifice the latter to indulge in the former. My intent is not “edginess,” but ensuring that I get my point across without having to alienate an audience, to displease our Lord, as well as to avoid making it sound like people in this culture are thugs, or like they’re all Ned Flanders. You can portray a character sinning without giving a “stamp of approval.” What might your suggestion(s) be?
Thank you for all you do, praying!

ON

Have you read Jacques Ellul? I just finished his The Presence of the Kingdom which I think raises many similar points to this one, from a more Christian perspective, but not a very optimistic postmil one. I recommend it.

Benjamin

Enjoyed Both Brilliant and Blind very much, particularly “just raisins in the oatmeal” and “Alas for my interlocutors, it is not so.”

Rob

From Both Brilliant and Blind:
“So then, there is my mixed review, right up front. Hoffer is both brilliant and blind. We live in a time where we really need to profit from his brilliance, while never forgetting that it was the post-war secular blindness, which he represents very well, that created such vast opportunities for our current crop of mountebanks, scamps, charlatans, hustlers, and frauds.”
You forgot the poor quacksalvers. I’m sure they feel excluded.

Nathan

I preach for a very small congregation in the Northwest Alabama Area. We generally fit the stereotypical small county church mold, with the exception of our politics. A little over half of the congregation are Trump-haters—not raving liberals but rather social conservatives gripped by a potent case of TDS. One man even went so far as to say, “In olden days, people worshiped a golden calf. Now, they worship an orange jackass.” He told me he can’t understand how any Bible-believing Christian could vote for Trump. I want to preach on God and the Polis, but I’m not sure which angle I should attack it from. On the one hand, people need to repent of their voting habits. Before they do that, though, they need to learn not to judge their fellow man. I know that the latter principle doesn’t mean that God doesn’t care how you vote, so I want to be sure I’m striking the balance between the two. How would you proceed?
Thank you,

Crawford

Thanks for your ministry—especially your many fine works on the family. I need some family advice, and I have a feeling you have some wisdom to share.
My oldest child is now 9. She’s homeschooled and purposefully sheltered from the world’s influence. We read the Bible together everyday as a family, and we don’t skip the uncomfortable parts. That said, she’s never asked about sex, and we’ve never offered much more explanation than referring to sex as “a kind of closeness that is meant just for marriage” whenever it comes up in our reading.
Neither my wife or I ever got a sex talk from our parents. Nothing. We’re completely in the dark as to when to do so and how to go about doing so. Please guide us! We don’t even have a frame of reference, so as many practical details as you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks much, and may God bless you.

John & Naomi

RE: tattoo musings
I’ve been thinking about your statement the tattoos ate a failed attempt at adornment. Then Sunday I was again confronted with grand old hymns bastardized with pointless modern choruses, and I spotted the connection—a failed attempt at adornment . . . like outfitting a cathedral with an oil change pit.
I confess that I don’t sing most of the songs in church because we’re not supposed to sacrifice the blind and the lame, and they’re mostly lame.

Craig

Good morning, I enjoy reading your blog and listening to your interviews and YouTube videos on a variety of subjects.
I have a question for you regarding family size. My husband and I have been married for four years in October. We have three-year-old twins. We had no debt when we were dating and got engaged and married within a year of dating. We had a small wedding to avoid debt, and it ended up being a wise decision because I became pregnant with our twins shortly after getting married.
They are a blessing and we love them very much. However, I would like to have another baby. My husband always said before we were married he would be happy with two children, but I am one of eight children so I always thought I would have at least four. Perhaps that is my fault for not realizing he was serious about two. There have also been hard moments with our twins. We went from dating, to married, to two premature infants very quickly. My husband assumed the responsibility well and has worked hard to provide and discipline them well. I’m very appreciative of him and respect him greatly. I have also grown in my understanding of the husband and wife dynamic and submission over the last few years. I was raised in churches that were certainly affected by latent feminism and egalitarianism. The topic of submission was always approached very cautiously in church, especially as it pertained to women.
Perhaps I am rambling on here, so I will get to my point. If my husband is satisfied with two children and doesn’t desire more, should I not ask for more children and simply submit? Part of me thinks, “well, we need more strong believers having children.” But I also do not want to be a nagging, unsubmissive wife.
Could you provide me with a biblical answer?
Thank you and have a blessed day.

Abby

I’m struggling so much right now. How do I live in the reality that I can’t trust my husband, but I’m supposed to respect him? How do I live in both the reality of having my heart repeatedly crushed by his sinful choices and still want to be with him? If my husband was David-like repentant and making every effort to do things differently, I think I’d be confident he was going to slay the dragon this time, but I’m losing hope. I’m trying not to, but I am. He has all of these hopes and dreams to serve and preach in church and then he does this. We’re 12 years into marriage with 10 of it being spent with him struggling with lust/pornography issues and sometimes lying about it for months. I’m tired. Tired of it all. I know I’m wrong in my response. My heart is struggling to forgive fully because it hurts so repeatedly. I don’t believe he believes he’ll ever be free. I feel he has self-sabotaged. We were in such an incredible place (or so I thought) right before it happened this last time. He premeditatedly chose to do it too while on a trip, while I was at home newly pregnant taking care of our 5 children in the middle of an actual southern storm. I’m being dramatic I’m sure. But, I’m just feeling emotionally lost at sea, like I can’t find my bearings and don’t know how to be me anymore. I know that must mean I’m not setting my eyes first on Christ. My heart is just aching. Please give me some advice on how to get through this. Thank you.

KM

I need help with my relationship. It’s almost been 10 months of courting, with my father overseeing the courtship. Recently my father asked him to write a contract saying he would not force me or my future daughters to go into the workforce, a value my boyfriend already holds to. My boyfriend will not, he sees it as a way my father is trying to give himself authority in our future marriage. Is it in some way giving my father authority in my future marriage? My dad see it as a way of protecting his daughter and future granddaughters. My boyfriend thinks when it’s a contract between my father and his, the relationship isn’t between him and me, it’s between him and my father, which is kind of what my father wants. He wants Timothy (my boyfriend), to court my dad, so that my dad knows who he is. I need advice, please. I really need it. I would also love it if you could answer me this, are women property? Does a husband have ultimate authority over his wife other then making her do something the Bible says is wrong? I really need help. My dad respects you a lot, so advice from you would be great. I was planning on marrying this man, and now everything is falling apart. I know whatever happens is God’s will. But we definitely need advice on what to do. I beg you to give us advice.

Ellie

I am 15, and find sexual temptations hard. I don’t watch porn, but find the temptation to masturbate strong. I just wanted to know if it is biblical, and whether or not its a sinful act.

E

Grace and peace to you pastor as you minister to many in Idaho and others through your online and writing ministries.
First, I’d like to extend my appreciation to you and your bride Nancy for your written works. Many of your books have blessed my family in numerous ways and we are incredibly thankful. I pray your health sustains and you are able to continue in your assignments.
Secondly, I am writing to ask a question I am struggling to find a clear and concise answer for. I’ve been married to my bride for 23 years and we have six children ages 11-20 years. We are members of a Reformed Baptist church in central Arkansas who votes by households. I am not an elder but am helping our two elders formulate a working definition for what a “household” is.
As I am sure you are well aware, the word household is found many times in the scriptures and I’ve struggled with formulating a definition that is not only helpful but Biblical.
We are a small church that is made up of about 20 families. 80% of the souls are aged 2-20, while 20% are 21-85. With that we are facing many who are coming of age and in need of a better defined use of the word household, assuming that it is more than just 4 walls and a roof.
If you are able to share how you and your church defines the word I would be grateful.
In Christ,

Stephen

I hope this message finds you well and thriving in the grace of God. I hope this is an appropriate channel to contact you on with the requests that I have.
I am writing from the UK. I’ve been a believer for 9 years, my wife for 14 years, we’ve been married for nearly 4 years, and have 2 children. I also have a 9-year-old daughter, from before conversion, who was born of a highly unstable, non-marital relationship.
I decided to write to you as your books and sermons on family life have have been a major source of help to us. We are truly thankful to the Lord.
I am writing to enquire about the issue of step-families. I have sought to extrapolate the Bible’s teaching on this subject, but fear I may be missing a good deal of its teaching still. I’ve also looked for sound writing on the subject, but have found precious little; a couple of paragraphs from William Gouge, and a couple of sentences from William Perkins.
I hope you don’t mind me asking whether you’ve dealt with such issues as a Pastor, and whether you’ve studied the issue biblically? If so, I wonder if you’d be willing to correspond a bit, on a confidential basis, to learn more of the specifics of our situation, and offer any thoughts, advice or teaching you may have. It would be greatly appreciated, but I would understand if for any reason it wasn’t possible.
In addition, would you be able to recommend any resources I could study on the subject? Relevant passages of scripture would be greatly appreciated, as would good books. I think my wife and I need a solid doctrinal understanding of this complicated issue.
May our Lord be with you,

Nick

How would you counsel adults to interact with (even more adult—almost 80) parents who have alcoholism/addiction to pain killers? We just discovered that my mother-in-law has been struggling with drunkenness and addiction for years and my father-in-law has been dealing with it in silence at best, enabling it, at worst. The last few years there has been a noticeable shift in my mother-in-law, which I met with sympathy and love because I actually thought her symptoms were signs of dementia. I actually began hosting a weekly family dinner to help them out, knowing how hard it must be with a dementia diagnoses. Fast forward to a few months ago—when she came to family dinner totally OUT of it—her eyes were barely able to be opened a crack, she could barely walk, her speech was slurred . . .and it all came out. All the adult children confronted her about the need to get help, to which she refused. She recognizes there is a problem and admits it—but refuses to get help, saying she can just stop on her own. (Since that confrontation, we have all been on high alert, and there have been several other instances that question whether ‘stopping’ has happened.) How should we interact with them? We love them so much! We want to help them spend these last few years of their lives enjoying God’s good gift of local family—but it is actually driving the family apart. One particular adult child is bitter and angry, blaming her for decades of sin (we do not know how long this has been a problem) and is refusing to spend ‘extra’ time with them. One particular family loves them and worries about them, but acts like nothing is wrong. And one particular family wants to HELP them get better, love them through it, and not be bitter toward their behaviors (she drove our children in vehicles while intoxicated)—but don’t know how to address it, in love and in wisdom. All the grandchildren are old enough to notice the tension and are watching closely how we deal with this. Should we insist upon getting her into a program by ‘force’ : i.e. we don’t spend time with her? Should we just keep forgiving and praying that the Lord work in her life? PLEASE HELP! (I just finished reading Addict in the Family and, while helpful, left me with still more questions.)

R