Title Nine, Schmitle Nine

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While nobody was looking, the swells who run our international affairs effectively destroyed the entire concept of women’s athletics. We have now advanced well past the absurdity horizon, the point past which no recovery is possible without resorting to the forces of dark bigotry and reaction.

It used to be that for a male to compete as a female in the Olympics, he needed to have had the requisite surgery two years prior. That was stupid and perverse, but at least it was post-op stupid and perverse. If some guy wanted a gold medal bad enough, he had to do something drastic for a chance to get there. But now, wafting along with the zeitgeistian breezes, the intelligentsia has effectively destroyed women’s athletics everywhere.

Meet Tiffany, silver medalist in the 2016 hammer throw. Her teammates call her Bruno, but not when she is around.
Meet Tiffany, silver medalist in the 2016 hammer throw. Her teammates call her Bruno, but not when she is around.

This rules adjustment by the Olympic committee will make it necessary for every institution down to high school to make the same adjustments, and poof, there go all your feminist advances. Title nine, schmitle nine. And it wasn’t even done by the religious right. Of course, we conservatives are allowed to get a certain wheeze out of it, but we had nothing to do with it. Not our zoo, not our monkeys.

The johnnies in charge of this insist they are going to keep everything “fair” and “equitable,” to which a wizened sage in the mountains once replied, “yeah, right.” They strive to maintain their pretense by saying that male athletes striving to compete (penis and all) with the ladies must have their testosterone levels “below 10 nanomols [sic] per liter for at least 12 months before competing,” and “that the testosterone level must remain below this while competing.”

They must do this via hormone treatments! You male athletes out there! You must take hormones! Not you girls born that way! Not you! You may not take hormones! In short, the guys must engage in a form of doping to get down to 9.8 nanomoles while the ladies may not do anything to get up to 9.8 nanomoles. How many court cases do you think it will take before somebody finds out how arbitrary it all is? And when they discover how arbitrary, inconsistent, and stupid it all is, does anyone seriously think that they will resolve the inconsistency by kicking the guys back to the other locker room? Ha.

No, absent repentance, the logic is already settled for us. Bruce Jenner is a competitive guy, and not only was he able to become a woman, but was also able to become Glamour’s Woman of the Year. You girls think you know how to be a woman? Watch this. And he did it in only six months. That’s what the feminine mystique actually must have been — making it look hard. Thus far Jenner.

In short, the entire field of women’s athletics is now wide open to every male “also ran” in the world. Gee, I wonder if any of those guys might be brittle enough, insecure enough, vain enough, competitive enough, conceited enough . . .

Now if you are a simple mechanic living in Des Moines, or a welder making your living in Phoenix, or perhaps a sawmill hand in western Montana, I want to bring you in on something that you all more than halfway suspected already. And that is the glaring fact that the people running the world are fools.

Now many of them, no doubt, did well on their GREs. The tachometer in their little red convertible of a brain can bounce nicely at the right side of the dial. But that does not change the fact that they are barreling down the wrong road late at night, a dark and stormy night actually, and the bridge right up ahead of them is out. Once they launch the whole red operation off the end of that collapsed bridge, the tachometer, such as it is, become largely irrelevant. One does not glance at it any more. One has somehow lost interest.

So we are not talking about IQ. In Scripture folly is a moral category, not an intellectual one. But even with that important qualification made, folly as a moral category can still get pretty stupid, and there comes a time when the only possible answer is that of a horse laugh.

Begin with the premise that nobody knows what a girl is, reason validly from that point on, and you can soon find yourself neck deep in twaddle. The bubbles you see around you are being blown from the bottom by the medical chiefs of the International Olympic Committee. Start with the assumption that gender is a social construct, apply the rules rigorously, and when you next look around, you may come to the crucial realization that all the important people are moonbat crazy. Assume with all the cool kids that your grandparents’ sexual mores were infra dig (as the kids say today) and terminally unhip, and the end results will be dottier than a three-day festival of dalmatian owners.

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Ted Robinson
Ted Robinson
5 years ago

Amen

bethyada
5 years ago

Just a note that mol is an abbreviation for mole. So it is either nanomoles per litre or nmol/L but not nanomols. Though you are clearly quoting CNN’s typo.

Doane
Doane
5 years ago
bethyada
5 years ago
Reply to  Doane

Useful link. Many women are completely ignorant at how much more strength men have than women.

asdf
asdf
5 years ago
Reply to  bethyada

I once knew a couple. He didn’t consistently exercise, and played a lot of video games, but was still thin (I believe “skinnyfat” is the word). She studied two martial arts. Even with that difference, in the play-fighting that married couples tend to do, he could still overpower her pretty easily.

Evan
Evan
5 years ago
Reply to  Doane

I can’t even….

bethyada
5 years ago

So testosterone for men is about 10-40 and for women <2.

A man takes a couple of birth control pills to get his testosterone <10 a year before. Then he continues to train with high testosterone levels and bulks up for the next year. Takes a little more oestrogen on the day he has his blood tests and competes with a muscle advantage and a testosterone that more than 5 times the women. Sounds fair.

Tyrone Taylor
Tyrone Taylor
5 years ago
Reply to  bethyada

I don’t precisely know how the testosterone level changes when taking pills, whether quickly or over time, but you are pointing out that they would need some kind of random testing, like for other drugs. Btw, this is exactly how steroid or HGH users do it. They train on the drugs for some time. They make the physical gains with the enhanced hormone or testosterone levels. Then get clean before the test or season. Which is why the OIC does random testing. A lot of the advantage of having increased testosterone is physical gains in off-season training.

jillybean
jillybean
5 years ago

This sounds appalling and ridiculous. But I can’t work up much emotion about any damage to the Olympics. To me, the whole thing self-destructed when it stopped being amateur sport. Using technicalities people compete under the flag of countries with which they have the most peripheral connection. I want the Chariots of Fire Olympics back.

Conserbatives_conserve_little
Conserbatives_conserve_little
5 years ago
Reply to  jillybean

When the Olympics starts losing money then they will stop this nonsense

Eric Zimmerman
Eric Zimmerman
5 years ago

A couple of things are interesting here. The article states: “Athletes, though, who transition from male to female must declare their gender identity as female and show that their testosterone seem level is below 10 nanomols per liter for at least 12 months before competing, that the testosterone level must remain below this while competing and that athletes may need to undergo testing to prove this.” What does “transition from male to female” mean? Does it just mean those who identify as female when they compete? Or do they need to transition from male to female at some predetermined points… Read more »

jigawatt
jigawatt
5 years ago

I think Doug and Adam4d need to do some sort of project together. (But please, Doug, don’t co-author another book).

http://adam4d.com/complicated-question/

Duells Quimby
Duells Quimby
5 years ago
Reply to  jigawatt

I dunno, could be fun. I’d buy it!

Laurence
Laurence
5 years ago

Vonneguts’ short, Harrison Bergeron, seems so lame now.

"A" dad
"A" dad
5 years ago

Wait!? What? No, No! The Constitution of Gender has been clearly established as follows:

What are little boys made of?
Snakes and snails And puppy-dogs’ tails.
That’s what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice And everything nice.
That’s what little girls are made of.

Everyone knows this, especially the part about the puppy dog tails!

Will the Olympic committee be testing for threshold levels of sugar and spice?

Benjamin Bowman
5 years ago

You know, nationality is also a social construct placed upon us. If one really felt American enough in their heart of hearts but could not immigrate, I suppose that we would have to allow them to represent us in the games.

Malachi
Malachi
5 years ago

Why not??
Why wouldn’t someone passed over in one country’s Olympic trials simply “self-identify” as being really, really Qataran, Botswanian, Luxembourgish, or even Nepalese in order to get in the Olympics? Makes sense…now.

Len
Len
5 years ago

What about the opposite – a woman wanting to compete as a man? Does she just wear a jock strap with a sock stuffed in it?

lloyd
5 years ago
Reply to  Len

They covered that. Any female can compete in the male competitions. Assuming the did the pre-req qualifying.

I’m sure they’ll be lining up for that.

jigawatt
jigawatt
5 years ago
Reply to  lloyd

I’m sure they’ll be lining up for that.

Two years from now: “Where are all the female-to-male athletes? Why are they never among the best of their sports? There’s only one possible explaination — TRANSPHOBIC DISCRIMINATION AND BIGOTRY!!!”

lloyd
5 years ago
Reply to  jigawatt

Hah.

gfkdzdds
gfkdzdds
5 years ago

I remember seeing Rene Richards play as a transexual woman at the first professional tennis tournament where she was allowed to play as a woman. “She” was 33 at the time and although she had been highly ranked in the East Region of the US as a man (think comparing single”A” baseball to professional baseball) she was able to successfully compete with the top women in the world. Apparently the governing bodies of sport did not learn their lesson.

Wesley Sims
Wesley Sims
5 years ago
Reply to  gfkdzdds

*Ze*

Bigot.

Carson Spratt
5 years ago

“Dottier than a three-day festival of dalmatian owners” is something that would have made Wodehouse proud. One of your best metaphors ever.

J. Frank Norris
J. Frank Norris
5 years ago
Reply to  Carson Spratt

“Dottier than a three-day festival of dalmatian owners” is something that would have made Wodehouse proud. One of your best metaphors ever. It’s good, but it would have been much better if he’d written “Dottier than a three-day festival of Hindudalmatian owners” And 20 years ago Doug Wilson would’ve written that. But not now. Because like all of us, he has internalized a whole bunch of political correctness over the past 20 years. He’s not nearly as far gone as radical trannies, but (again like all of us) he is careful not to say many things he would’ve freely said… Read more »

Malachi
Malachi
5 years ago

Or…maybe it just didn’t occur to him.

"A" dad
"A" dad
5 years ago
Reply to  Carson Spratt

Helllllllllp! Rachel Milllllller! Atribution check please! ; – )

J. Frank Norris
J. Frank Norris
5 years ago

testosterone levels “below 10 nanomols [sic] per liter for at least 12 months before competing,” and “that the testosterone level must remain below this while competing.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the same standard used by the admissions committees at most evangelical seminaries?

Capndweeb
Capndweeb
5 years ago

“Once they launch the whole red operation off the end of that collapsed bridge, the tachometer, such as it is, become largely irrelevant. One does not glance at it any more. One has somehow lost interest.”
Yet, with the floor of the valley below said bridge ever more rapidly approaching, they will curse and vow to sue the manufacturer who maliciously designed the vehicle without a lever to deploy a set of wings to save them.

Bike bubba
5 years ago

Let’s be fair here: “women’s” Olympic champions, with rare exceptions, haven’t seemed reliably female since the sixties or before, when the Soviet block nations figured out doping. Well, at least they were more blatant about it–I remember reading articles back in the 1970s where parents were asking whether they should be giving their sons Dianabol to give them some extra “oomph” on the football team. Seems there is a great opening here for an alternative to groups like the IOC which would use the biological passport (the control charting technique that caught Lance Armstrong), a doctor’s affidavit, and such to… Read more »

scttsmmns
scttsmmns
5 years ago

Even worse is the new rule in Washington State that opens all women’s restrooms , locker rooms, and showers to anyone questioning their gender. this includes every form of predator that exists. Unfortunately, those you would think would oppose it the most (like Churches) simply aren’t showing up. evidently leadership doesn’t know or doesn’t care.