At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord Jesus gives us an illustration of two houses—one built securely on a rock, and the other built on sand. From a distance, there was no real way to tell the essential difference between the two houses. In fact, we could easily imagine the house on sand having a lot more curb appeal—shutters, nicer shingles, landscaping, a better paint job, and so forth. But the real distinction between the houses was not made manifest until the storm came. The storm was a revelation. In that storm, one house stood, and the other collapsed. And, as Jesus put it, “great was the fall of it.”
Now in this small parable, what corresponded to the rock and to the sand? Jesus said that these houses represented anyone who heard the words of Christ. Both houses represented those who heard what Christ said. The house built on rock represented those who did what Jesus said.
What we are doing here today is that we are establishing a house. A man will leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. This is how a house is built. This is the day we break ground. But, as the illustration that Christ used demonstrates, there are two ways to build a house. You can build it all by yourself, relying on your own wisdom, or you can build it under the Lord’s provision and care. And, as we should know, unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it (Ps. 127:1).
If our civilization were a low-lying coasal city, we live in a time when a great storm has made landfall. Let us name this hurricane something like Obergefell. Trees are down everywhere, flood waters surge through the streets, and many houses are just kindling now. This is because we have contractors who threw away all their previous understanding of best practices, and just started making stuff up.
Now this is a Christian wedding, and so we are convinced of better things in this instance. But it is worth noting that we are not convinced of better things because this is happening in a Christian church. It is not better because we are using God words in the ceremony, or Christ words for that matter. When Jesus said that we were to hear His words, and do His words, He was assuming certain things about all of it. And unless we are assuming the same thing, what we are doing (at best) is gathering up sand and calling it rock.
The words of Christ that we are to heed and do are words that come to us from outside the world. They do not come from history or tradition. They do not come from a book of wedding liturgies. They do not arise from concepts or mere ideas. We serve the living God, the God who is there. And when I say He is there, I mean that He is actually there, uncreated and absolute. We serve the infinite, personal, triune God, who speaks an authoritative Word to us.
He is the Creator of all things, and this means that He is the Creator of marriage. Marriage is His gift to us, and so He defines what it is, and He defines how it must function. The world is His design, and He is the one who published the manual that tells us what to do. And we are called to do more than simply publish the manual in black leather, with a ribbon in it, and then store it high up on the shelf. No, we are to read, heed, and do.
Zach, your task is to lead your new family in a life of practical obedience. What the Bible teaches, you believe, and what the Bible says to do, you will make sure to do. You are called this day to echo the sentiments of Joshua—as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Remember the words of Christ in His illustration of the two houses. Whoever hears and does is building on a rock. But you must be building on the rock of an authoritative word that comes from the eternal God. Traditional values won’t cut it. In order to be an all-in husband, you will need to be an all-in Christian husband. And this means that your home will need to be a practical intersection between time and eternity. You will need to do more than just say the “Christiany” things. You must lead, and protect, and provide, in the light of eternity. You are teaching your family to obey and actually follow the God who is there.
Isabel, your task is to adorn that obedience, and to make it beautiful. This is what the holy women of old used to do. Your submission to Zach is not some quiescent thing, it is not inert. You are to be active in following your husband, supporting him and making his declared intent to be obedient to God a joy. When he is leading you, and your children, you must not be an obstacle that he must overcome. He should rely on your responses, and not have to navigate them. You must not be the difficulty—he will have difficulties enough already. Of course, if he were attempting to lead you into sin, you must be an Abagail, but we all know that this will not be the nature of your challenge. Your task will not be how to resist disobedience. It will not even be how to be okay with obedience. Your task will be to glorify his obedience. The woman is the glory of the man, and so she is to be the glory of His faithful work as he seeks to build his new house on a rock.
For it is indeed a rock. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen.