Joseph and Rebecca

Because this wedding ceremony is using the form found in the Book of Common Prayer, in just a few moments—at the exchange of the rings—a phrase will be used that requires some explanation. That phrase is “with my body I thee worship.”

Historically, the phrase is what distinguished a free wife from a concubine. A concubine was a wife with limited rights and privileges, while a free wife was granted the person, honor, and worship of the groom. He gave himself to her entirely. Worship here refers to the service of honor.

When the groom declared his intention to do this, it meant that the children born from this union were to be considered free and legitimate, and true heirs of their father. The bride was being given the honor of being the lawful mother of the household. And last, she was blessed with all he possessed, which is seen in the next phrase—“with all my worldly goods I thee endow.” An endowed wife was an established wife, a free wife, a respected wife. She is a wife who is honored.

I mentioned a moment ago that worship refers to the service of honor. Our modern English word comes from the Anglo-Saxon weorðscipe, which refers to the condition of being worthy, having glory and distinction, honor and renown. The first use of this (in English) as applied to God was around 1300 A.D.. Prior to that time, it simply referred to the kind of respect that is rendered to persons of rank and dignity. This is still seen today in the title worshipful that is applied to certain ranks of people in Britain. It does not refer to people who think they are God.

Now in this sense, the pledge that the husband gives is completely in line with what the apostle Peter tells husbands to do, when he says this: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7).

Am I making too much of this? After all, doesn’t the wife say the same thing to her husband in the exchange of rings? Yes, but in the original form, at the giving of the ring, it was the husband who gave the ring to his bride, saying these words, and that was it.

Some might want to pretend that the words in this form are simply archaic and outdated, and that we should say something relevant instead. We don’t have concubinage anymore, so why use a form of matrimony that presupposes it?

The answer is that certain things stay constant, even if our terminology changes. Even if we refer to the realities a different way, they are still realities. In America today, about a quarter of all children are growing up in single-mother homes. The consequences of fatherlessness and the resultant poverty—being functionally disinherited—are consequences that are not trivial. The names and the rationale can change, but the realities on the ground are very much the same.

The reason this is happening in our culture that the vows that we are about to hear exchanged are not taken as seriously as they once were. There are other phrases—like till death us do part—that used to be more thoroughly woven into the fabric of our culture than they are now. But we are believers, we have committed ourselves to Christ, and we are not saying these words because we are on some sort of traditionalist auto-pilot.

No, we really believe that these sort of vows are what God requires. We believe that His grace, ministered by His Spirit, will enable and equip this couple to keep their promises.

And that is what this ceremony is all about. We are here to observe the promises being made, and we are here to witness the beginning of how they will be kept. We mark the beginning, we will mark the middle, and some of us will mark the end. We rejoice in the Lord our God, and look to Him for the grace that can alone enable anyone in this world to stay married, and not only to stay married to fashion glory out of it.

So marriage is an ordinance that God requires us to protect and maintain in this imperfect world, which is why it is necessary for us to seal it with strong oaths. And that is what we do.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen.