As we look around at the unraveling of the last several years, and at the resultant condition of our marriages and families, it is easy to become dismayed. Where did this come from? How long has this been going on? Who is responsible? The lament raised by the psalmist David comes readily to mind.
“If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?”Psalm 11:3 (KJV)
In times of chaos like this, when everything is unsettled, it is easy to become unsettled yourself. Why would anyone get married in a world like this? Why would anybody want to bring little children into a world like this one? The antidote to this temptation—and it is a temptation—is to learn how to read the story you are in.
Although they would have us believe they are in charge, as the prophet Isaiah pointed out, all these petty lords of the earth can do is breath through their noses (Is. 2:22). They are midges in a sunbeam, plotting an overthrow of the sun. In a letter to his son Christopher, J.R.R. Tolkien once wrote this: “Evil labours with vast power and perpetual success— in vain: preparing always only the soil for unexpected good to sprout in.”
The more we see the familial disarray around us, the more we should resolve, under Christ, to marry and be fruitful in the way God has designed. And that is why we are here today. We intend to do this right.
In the second psalm, the kings of the earth took their stand against the Lord, and against His anointed (Ps. 2:1-2). And what was God’s response? He laughed, and He laughed them to derision. What did Herod, and Pontius Pilate, and the Gentiles, and the Jews (Acts 4:26-28) . . . what did they actually accomplish? They ushered in the salvation of the world. They arranged for my forgiveness, and for yours, to be purchased by the blood of the Son of God. If the rulers of this world had known what they were doing back then, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory (1 Cor. 2:8).
So good marriages are comprised of people who are on good terms with God. And what does that mean? The Bible calls it reconciliation. We are a sinful people, living in a fallen world. All of us were by nature objects of wrath (Eph. 2:3), and we were enemies of God in our hearts and minds, in our hands and mouths. All of us. In this dire situation, God sent His Son to offer terms of reconciliation. “For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life” (Romans 5:10).
We are put right with God when we recognize our own complicity in the sin that surrounds us, and we repent of it. We repent of it while looking at the cross of Christ, where He died as an efficacious substitute, in fulfillment of the Scriptures, He was buried in accordance with the Scriptures, and God raised Him to life so that we could walk in newness of life. Believing this makes all the rest of what I am going to say possible.
We return to the first question that I raised at the beginning. When the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? I want to leave the two of you with three specific tasks, and I trust you will find them encouraging. These are things that the righteous can do, and which the righteous must do.
Eliot, this is my charge to you, as you lead your newly formed family. Lucia, this is my charge to you as you sweetly uphold him in this daunting task.
First, worship God. Assembling before the Lord on the Lord’s Day, with His people, is the most important thing you do in your life. Man was created to worship God. We are not, in the first instance, homo sapiens, as the Greek philosophers would have it, but rather are homo adorans, worshiping man.
God has framed this world with an iron law, which is that you become like what you worship. This is why worship is so central. We who worship God are being transformed, from one degree of glory to another (2 Cor. 3:18). This is our life, this is our light, this is our joy. This principle is also why the idolaters will come to nothing. The iron law applies to them as well.
“Their idols are silver and gold, The work of men’s hands. They have mouths, but they speak not: Eyes have they, but they see not: They have ears, but they hear not: Noses have they, but they smell not: They have hands, but they handle not: Feet have they, but they walk not: Neither speak they through their throat. They that make them are like unto them; So is every one that trusteth in them.”Psalm 115:4–8 (KJV)
They serve gods that are deaf, dumb, and blind, and so we see the progress of this inexorable law. The worshipers of these gods grow what? Increasingly deaf, dumb and blind, and the fact that they call it being “differently abled” does not help them out in any way.
Second, all your basic duties are near and clear. Eliot, love your wife. Lucia, respect your husband. Educate your kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Excel in your work. Are you out of fellowship with each other? Go and put it right, and do it now. Don’t fret about all the things you cannot reach. Make sure that you are being responsible within the radius of your influence. Deal with all the things you can reach. By the grace of God, you can reach your fellowship with one another.
Third, rejoice that God has created you, and has placed you in this hour. He has done the same thing for each of you. Both of you are assigned to this hour.
“Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”Nehemiah 8:10 (KJV)
The joy of the Lord is our strength. We are not called simply to fight with the evil around us, but rather we are called to fight this evil with a song in our hearts. We do not fight for joy, but rather with our joy. If God has assigned to us the role of being dragon slayers, why should we be distressed to discover the existence of dragons?
You were born for this hour. All of this surrounding mayhem is your duty station. You were put here on purpose. You were written into this role by the Author of the story, into this time, and His judgments are perfect. As I said earlier, it is a daunting task, but you were fitted for it.
Chesterton once said, wonderfully, that the one taste of paradise on this earth was to fight in a losing cause . . . and then not lose. He also said, in The Everlasting Man, that Christianity has died many times. The Christian faith has died many times, but this should not distress us at all—for we worship a God who knows the way out of the grave.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen.