We are gathered at a wedding, and we have gathered in order to witness the vows being made. When these vows are exchanged, a new relationship in the world is established—the marital relationship between Alec and Hannah. But it would be false to say that a new kind of relationship has been established. A unique specimen of the same kind of thing will be formed, but it is an instance of something that has been happening since the time of Adam and Eve.
Throughout the first chapter of Scripture, God has been declaring His creative acts to be good. In fact, He does this for every step of His creation week, with the one exception of Monday (Gen. 1:6-8), which might account for why we all have so much trouble getting up that day. But light was good (Gen. 1:4), and the dry land was good (Gen. 1:10), and the fruit trees were good (Gen. 1:12), and the sun and moon were good (Gen. 1:18), and all the sea creatures were good (Gen. 1:21), and all the beasts of the earth were good (Gen. 1:25). We look around and we agree. It is good. And at the end of it all, God looks around at everything He had made, now even including Monday, and stated that it was very good (Gen. 1:31). The word used for good throughout is tob, and to give you an idea of its semantic range it can mean “good, merry, pleasant, desirable, in order, usable, efficient, friendly, kind, morally good.” So God enjoyed what He had made, and He enjoyed all of it.
The first discordant note comes in the second chapter. “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18, NKJV).
As easy as it is to make jokes at the first bachelor’s expense, consider what Adam possessed at the time when God said that the situation was not good. He had a perfect world, freshly minted (Gen. 2:1-2). He was created in the image of God (Gen. 1:27), and God Himself had breathed the breath of life into him (Gen. 2:7). He had been given a perfect home, a garden that God Himself had planted (Gen. 2:8). Adam was not lacking for a superior companion, for God was with him (Gen. 2:15-16). He was not lacking for inferior companions, because God had given him charge and stewardship of all the animals (Gen. 2:19-20). And—unlike many modern bachelors—he also had a job (Gen. 2:15). God had already given him his task. He had a mission, and a purpose for his life. So what did he not have?
God had said that He was going to make “an help meet for him” (Gen. 2:18). This expression from the Authorized Version stumbles many modern individuals because help meet sounds something like helpmate. But the word meet is an archaic way of saying suitable. God was saying that he was going to make a “helper suitable” to Adam. We can get a better sense of this by comparing some other translations.
“I will make him a helper comparable to him” (NKJV) “I will make him a helper fit for him” (ESV) “I will make him a helper suitable for him” (NASB). Or one scholar sums it all up by rendering it as “I shall make for a helper, corresponding to him” (DJP).
Those who follow the modern theological debates over marriage know that the name for the scriptural position is complementarianism. The biblical basis for this understanding is found here, in this passage. God made a helper for Adam—and it was someone in his league. It was a person who was the answer to his question—and an answer is never the same thing as the question. It was an individual who corresponded to him, but without being exactly like him. If God had simply created another man, it would only have doubled the not good situation. God did not create a matching set. He created a suitable set, a corresponding set—like a violin and bow.
This is God’s design, and despite the presence of sin in the world, and despite all the damage that sin has done, the glorious reality that we are celebrating here today is something over which God Himself rejoices. God is looking down at what is happening today at First Pres, and He is saying—“very good.”
Alec, it is your task to maintain and hold fast to what Adam had before he was given the gift of a wife. Hang on to it. It is your responsibility to bear the image of God with clarity. It is your responsibility to fill the earth and subdue it. It is your responsibility to walk with God. These things were assigned to you, and to all your brothers throughout history, independent of the woman. The task is yours without the woman. So what is not yours apart from the woman? What is not yours alone is the glory. You need help with all of this, and you need a helper who corresponds to you, one who can take from your hands everything you offer her, and who can glorify it.
And so Hannah, your assigned task is that of corresponding to your husband, and doing so in a genuinely helpful way. And what we are talking about is an essential help. And the way this comes to us in Scripture is through descriptions of glory. So for biblical people the role you are assuming is never disparaged or patronized—it is not as though you are becoming Alec’s sidekick, or the “little woman.” Alec is described in Scripture as the image and glory of God, and you are described as the glory of that (1 Cor. 11:7). You are to be the glory of the image and glory of God. And if you are a wise woman, you will see that this does not consist of standing around being radiant—except for today. It means, among many other things, the golden weight of fruition.
And out of all the wedding presents you will receive today, that is one that you will both be unwrapping fifty years from now.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen.