“He was professional, cut, chiseled. His slacks had a crease in them that could cut weeds if he walked through a field of tall grass, not that he did this very often. His one idiosyncratic feature was that he always looked like he was chewing beef jerky whenever he talked, but most people who even noticed it thought it made him look masculine in that jaw-jutty way that you see in Eddie Bauer catalogs.”
Brim Full
“Radavic couldn’t quite catch what he was saying, but Bradford could see the prosecutor’s neck get bigger. He had never seen a neck so full of righteousness” ().
With a Big Spatula
“The judge told the bailiffs to get a medical spatula crew, scrape Mr. Warner off the floor of his courtroom, and take him somewhere else.”
Demeanor AND Outlook
“And then, as if in response to someone throwing a big breaker somewhere. Robert P. Warner slumped, shumped, and fell to the floor. He assumed the demeanor and outlook of a beanbag chair and ceased cooperating with the world.”
Which Sometimes Happens
“Tears ran down her cheeks. Her eye makeup was seriously blurred, and she looked out the twin smudges at the camera. Staring at this very spectacle on the screen, John Mitchell told Cindi, who was standing behind him, that News Babe looked like a sensuous and emotionally worked-up raccoon.”
And Then Sprayed a Little Extra
“So the meeting began with a financial report, which Bill Turner had prepared for them, the bottom line of which looked like somebody had been spraying it with Roundup.”
The Problem with Fat Robins
“She was the kind of woman whose absolute support was freely and completely given, until it gave way like a saturated California hillside. Then it was mostly at the bottom with a car or two underneath. The final event that would cause the hillside to give way might be completely trivial—perhaps a robin landing too heavily—but once the business was underway, well, it was all mostly at the bottom. Chad had clearly and unmistakably lied to her daughter. This was a breach of trust not to be endured. It was clear. It was unambiguous. It was a fat robin. It was clearly time to act.”
Like Dew on the Roses
“What a tangle! Pastoral snarls are like the mercies of God—they are new every morning.”
Helps Them Keep Well
“Robert walked out of the 7-Eleven with an order of cheese pump nachos, a hot dog, and a couple of packets of those chocolate thingies with a half-life of seventy-five years”
In Big Letters on the Heel
“Because the lead attorney in that firm—Joe Shattuck, Esq.—spoke with a thick Mississippi accent, this always put urban sophisticates off their guard. Shattuck had made a lot of money that way . . . Not that they knew it at the time, but Shattuck had pulled all their shirts up over their heads and rolled all their socks down, creating a little black wool bead around the tops of their expensive Italian shoes. Shattuck, for his part, during a weekly lunch with his partners at a local catfish emporium, was fairly expressive in how he explained what had happened: ‘Those boys couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.’”