“While he was coming up the head table, she had decided, firmly and with all the resolve she had that she would be courteous, friendly, and tart . . . She felt as though she were on the verge of a fencing match, and she had been flexing her rapier.”
Another Little Contretemps
Introduction: If real trials were tornadoes, couple of dust devils appeared here in Moscow yesterday. I do not really want to dignify them by making you think that I think they were tornadoes, but I do maintain that they were some swirly things that deserve some comment. That Bathroom Ad: So perhaps you recall that …
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Dignified Eyesores
“Taking one thing with another, the line-up of the head table, with the notable exception of Savannah, was a well-groomed collection of dignified eyesores. Savannah kind of stood out and a number of people had already decided instinctively where they would be looking during the course of the speeches and toasts.”
If the Sky is Falling, Let Us Sweep Up the Pieces
Letter to the Editor: Justice Roberts just sided with the liberals to strike down a Louisiana abortion restriction. Justice Gorsuch sided with the liberals to pave the way for churches and ...
Which Is Pretty Flat
“Lambeth tried to court her last year and was turned down flat, flatter than a pancake made with really thin batter.”
Black Lies Matter
Introduction: Would you rather I had said that all lies matter? I will explain the hypocrisy shortly, but in the meantime, as a matter of fact, I have done such a thing before. But nobody listened ...
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The Word Invites It
“‘But if you failed to ask it, you might miss out on the fact that the pulchritudinous Miss Westmoreland lives there.’ He pronounced it pulchritoooodinous, savoring the word as it came out, treating it like it was a butterscotch lozenge.”
Entirely Reasonable
Which Works on Parakeets
“Her worries fluttered for a moment, the way her parakeet had done once in her hand for a moment. But she just put it back in the cage, and dropped the cloth over the top of it.”
The Envious Kind
“A certain kind of beauty flourishes when another kind is diminished.”