Hitting Your Targets
Gearing Up for the Attempt
“Prosecutor Radavic leaned forward, squeaking his chair with authoritative mien. His long fingers were splayed, hands together, fingertip to fingertip, as though a spider were sideways on a mirror, doing push-ups in an agitated manner. His hair, just a tad longer than it really ought to have been, was slicked back on each side, giving the appearance of an attempted comb-over without actually going for it.”
At Least Three
“The customer was just frustrated with his deteriorating motor skills, but I think the way he smelled had something to do with that—he smelled like living downwind of three Kentucky bourbon plants.”
Assemblin’, Carryin’, n’ Sayin’ Stuff
Introduction: So last Monday there was a huge rally in Virginia to protest the declared intentions of Gov. Ralph “Blackie” Northam regarding guns. The rally was supposed to erupt into World War III, or maybe that was Iran, but anyway really bad stuff was going to happen. We were promised that really bad stuff was …
When Tattoos Talk
“This part of town had their crazy pastors too, but they mainly operated out of storefronts with names like Knee Deep in Glory Gospel Center. And some of their pastors had tattoos, but these were just tattoos that said, ‘I was in the Navy once, before I met Jesus,’ instead of the uptown ecclesiastical version that said, ‘I am desperate to accessorize my iPad.”
Why, It’s Tuesday Again
Letter to the Editor: RE: The Crisis Regarding “Evangelical Fascism” Posted on Monday, January 20, 2020 Well done. This "I feel" instead of "I think" is dangerous and part of ...
You Know, Like That
“‘And I know that if you have not yet done this this, it is not yet necessary.’ At this she bobbed her head perkily like a ponytailed girl in a biscuit commercial from 1957.”
The Crisis Regarding “Evangelical Fascism”
Introduction: I may as well start by giving the game away, right at the top. The central peril regarding the subject of evangelical fascism will be the mistake of coming to believe that there is such a thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgcd6jvsCFs I have been raising the alarm — and will continue to raise the alarm — about …
Seems Like a Reasonable Stance
Our Scheduling Secretary Regrets the Error
A select committee in the House of Representatives yesterday took about fifteen minutes to devolve into chaos. Chairman Trevor McGuire (D.—NE) was preparing his committee on the pressing topic of range management, as they thought they were going to hear testimony from Lloyd Johnson from the Bureau of Land Management (BLM). What they actually heard …