Here are just a few observations I have gathered from over the years. I used the phrase church split in the title, but the principles also apply to solo departures from a church, as well as to those controlled crashes that are a combination of church split and church plant — what the professionals call a church splant.
1. . . . if you left a church because the pastor’s son was not dutiful enough for your tastes, and you then started attending a church where the pastor’s son is wanted in three states.
2. . . . if your central complaint against the pastor or session is that they decided on a course of action three years ago, with you as one of the leading proponents in the congregation for that course of action at the time.
3. . . . if your complaint is that they do not enforce leadership standards, while at the same time complaining that they won’t make you an elder. Which is it?
4. . . . if you make charges against the session that they can only answer by violating pastoral confidences.
5. . . . if you are upset because the session has violated pastoral confidences in their attempts to answer you.
6. . . . if you recruit spiritual advice from around the country, and the point is not so much the advice as it is enlisting some big name support for your faction. You are not sure you can get through to John MacArthur or R.C. Sproul, but if you could, you would certainly enlist their support on what color of carpet your church nursery is going to get.
7. . . . if your departure included resigning from the session, and you never used your office when elder to address the problems, but you picked up the responsibilities and prerogatives of office after you had left office. What you would not say when you had the right and obligation, you now say when you have the obligation not to.