It is quite possible to say that many modern Christians have a lopsided view of what constitutes “gracious speech.” In Col. 4:6, Paul says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you many know how to answer everyone.” In 1 Peter 3:15b-16, we are instructed, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”
What do I mean by lopsided? Many Christians believe that these verses prohibit the use of strong or vigorous language during verbal controversies. This mistake is the result of failing to understand Scripture in the light of Scripture. When we see that the men who wrote the Bible instructed us to speak in a certain way, it would be wise to look for examples of their speech. How did they understand their own instructions? This will prevent us from reading our own definitions into their requirements.
For example, in Luke 4, we find the account of Jesus speaking at the synagogue in His home town of Nazareth. Verse 22 states that the people were amazed at the gracious words that came from His lips. Jesus continues to speak and six verse later the people are so furious with Him that they attempt to murder Him. What is going on?
In Galatians 5:14-15, Paul says, “The entire law is summed up in a single command” ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” This is a mere three verses after Paul had expressed the wish that the members of the circumcision party would go the whole way and emasculate themselves.
John issues a wonderful invitation to anyone who wants to come to full and free forgiveness. “Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life” (Rev. 22:17b). Two verses earlier he had referred to a certain class of sinners as “dogs” (possibly a reference to homosexual offenders, see Dt. 23:18).
This leaves us with two choices. Either the verses on gracious speech mean what most Christians think they do and the writers of these instructions were obviously inconsistent, or there is only apparent inconsistency because our definitions of graciousness are not in line with examples given in the Bible.
It is very easy to compromise in the name of graciousness. It is very easy to think that the Lord requires us to offend no one. It is very easy to believe that to identify a “brood of vipers” is unchristian. Why so easy? Because it is the path of least resistance.
Our Lord did not die and come back from death victorious in order to populate eternity with invertebrates. We are told that gentleness is part of the fruit of the Spirit. But we are not told that gentleness requires us to be milquetoasts. We are told the meek will inherit the earth. But we are not instructed to abdicate all strength. Rather, we are told to “. . . be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power” (Eph. 6:10).
This is not a matter of incidental concern. One of the major problems in the modern church is the identification of strength with sin. As a consequence, the church is now like Samson, blinded and shorn of strength. Repentance is in order. We need to give up our humanistic definitions of love and graciousness in order to embrace a more biblical understanding.
It should go without saying that this does not mean that Christians are provided with a justification for calling people names indiscriminately. We must imitate the biblical writers across the board. We must love as they did, think as they did, give ourselves away as they did, and then speak as they did.
Originally published in The Hammer (Vol. 5, No. 3), in 1986. The Hammer was a publication of Community Christian Ministries.