Sprawl With Pall!

Correction: I have been informed that my example of the gays or lesbians below was misinformed. The proposed law allows everybody up to one boarder and this allows for the scenario I described. My apologies for the bum dope. The law, however, does discriminate against a bisexual with three kids.

It has been a while since I have had to post on diversity cleansing here in Moscow. This is mostly because things have quieted down, but there are still a few things on their agenda. But before telling you about the latest thing, I have to bring you up to speed.

A few years ago a group called the Moscow Civic Association formed, and was largely successful in getting a city council elected that has not exactly covered itself in fiscal glory. They are leftist, and so their idea of “sustainable growth” is for us to all climb down into a hole and making a living selling rocks to each other.

In the meantime, our sister city of Pullman, Washington (8 miles to the west) has decided to take a different approach to economic growth. In their model, you grow the economy by actually encouraging the economy. And although Pullman is eight miles away, the border of Washington State is right down the left side of Moscow. Some stores the size of a middlin’ Texas ranch are now going in right across the state line, and the old two-lane highway is being expanded to a nice four or five laner. As I understand it, there will be concrete culverts on either of the highway where Moscow tax revenues will flow westward, clinking and jingling all the way, into Pullman’s coffers.

The exasperating treatment that our city has been giving various businesses proved to be too much for some good folks, and they snapped, forming the Greater Moscow Alliance. Just this last week, this organization put signs up all over Moscow, counting down the days to the very next election, and urging everyone to register to vote. Full disclosure here: I am not a member of GMA, and have not been to any of their meetings. I’m just watching, right?

So right now, the current council is like the expendable guy in the movie who goes off from the main group, and we all hear the creepy music start up. Given this situation, what are they trying to get passed in the last month or two before the election?

They are trying to harass New St. Andrews by passing a boarding house ordinance. The measure they just approved for further consideration at their last meeting says that if more than four unrelated people are living together, then they will have to get a conditional use permit to continue to do so. To cash this out, the “unrelated” part means that if anyone in the group is unrelated, the whole group needs to get a conditional use permit. A family of four who boards an international student for a semester needs to get one.

So how do we know this is aimed at NSA? Well, first, the origin of the dispute was a complaint filed by one of the Intoleristas naming a bunch of people in the NSA community who boarded students with them. This measure grew out of that initial complaint. We know what is going on because . . . how shall I put this? . . . because we’re not stupid.

Second, this measure is hostile to some of this council’s ordinary leftist concerns, showing that they must really want to whack us. Let me give you a couple examples. Under the law they are proposing, a lesbian with three kids would not be allowed to live together with her girlfriend — unless they went and got a C.U.P. But the council can live with this because if that kind of situation were to come before them, all they have to do is wave them through. And the gays and lesbians must know this is a sweetheart deal, because thus far they have not been picketing city hall, demanding that the government stay out of their bedroom — even if it is only to count.

Here is another example of how this measure is contrary to everything else they say they are trying to do. Their deal is “sustainable growth,” and here they are, cramming through a Sprawl Incentive Measure. Instead of encouraging students to live with existing families in existing homes, here they are requiring us to increase Moscow’s Carbon Footprint. Now you all know that I couldn’t care less about our carbon footprint — but they say they do. So why are they requiring homes to divide up like this — doubling heating costs, utility costs, the number of toilet water tanks, and so on? Couldn’t we keep our boarders and just have a Hummer idling in the driveway instead? One of the chief movers of this proposal is Linda Pall, and I have a campaign slogan for her. Let’s Sprawl With Pall!

Third, the law does not take into account anything like the size of the house. A retired couple whose five kids are grown and flown cannot take in three boarders, even though it amounts to a net reduction of the use of the house. There is no common sense language in the law, and this means that applicants for a C.U.P. will be facing the arbitrary caprice of city hall, and those who have enemies (like boarders of NSA students do), will have to get a C.U.P. with an engineered circus surrounding the process.

And last, we know what is really going on because one of the stories being used to cover their tracks is that they are trying to crack down on student “party houses.” Right. So why are they making students move out, away from adult supervision?

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