Slut-Shaming and the Gospel of Grace

In a time when we no longer know what a man is, or what a woman is, it would seem to follow that we can no longer know what the perversions of these offices are. Among many other weirdnesses, we are so far gone that we no longer know what a slut is.

Societies and cultures disintegrate in complicated ways. The pathologies of decadence are built on lies, and lies are always complex. They don’t disentangle easily because they are designed to be tangled.

This is the position we currently find ourselves in, which means we need to be careful as we go. But the need to take care is not an argument for saying nothing because we are up against torrens calumniae, a torrent of slanderous lies. To say nothing is to acquiesce in being swept away, over the falls, and down to the rocky cauldron of nonsense far below. In fact, I think we are already down there, waiting for the ambulance.

Because I am going to argue for something here that will be considered completely outrageous by the sob sisters of feminism, I want to state the conclusion first before turning to any arguments for it. I want every reasonable person to see that every appropriate qualification is built into what I am saying.

Here it is. In a culture that knows what a slut is, slut-shaming is utterly contrary to the spirit of the gospel. In a culture that has lost its ethical moorings, as ours has, any attempt to articulate any fixed moral standard in the sexual realm will be accused of slut-shaming and worse, and will wear those slanders as a badge of honor.

The sexual revolution is nothing less than autonomous man laying claim to define the entire world. The world is understood to be completely malleable, and so we can call men women and women men, and some people neither. This latter class apparently needs to use the bathroom a lot, and so bathroom access for them has become the pressing civil rights issue of our time.

In addition to that, having laid claim to the right to define the world, secular man is simultaneously laying claim to the right to define all crimes against their newly minted definitions. They not only want to define men, women, trans, queer, bi, and so on, but they also insist, quite violently, on their absolute right to define words like hate, bigot, rape, insensitive, and so on. So my unironic use of the word slut — meaning that I am not scrawling it on an ignorant sign for a slut walk — is sure to inflame somebody. Ask me if I care.

But return to my initial point. Here are a couple of scenarios to illustrate it. Suppose it is 1950 in some high school in middle America somewhere. A girl known to be easy is being taunted by classmates for being a slut, a whore, and so on. Any decent Christian walking in on such a scene would rebuke everyone involved and tell them to lay off. The self-righteousness of the accusers would be more likely land people in Hell than any of the other sins present. It was not for nothing that Jesus said that hookers were closer to the kingdom than the theologians (Matt. 21:31-32). The sin of self-righteousness is parasitic and requires some sort of fixed standard to feed on, and fixed sexual standards are no exception. Jesus rebuked the self-righteousness of those who would stone the woman caught in adultery, but notice that He also upheld the moral law when He told her to go and sin no more (John 8:1-11).

But another scenario is also possible, the kind much more likely in our time. Suppose someone is counseling a young woman who has been with multiple men, and she wants out of the destructive pattern of her promiscuity. She knows it is destructive, and no help to her at all. But then she says to her counselor something like this: “But the worst thing about all this is that people think I’m a slut.” The word think is not there accidentally because although our society catechizes us in very few things, one of the few things remaining is the importance of self esteem. How dare people think she is a slut? So the assumption runs. But the problem was that she had sex with the whole football team. There is an objective reality there. That’s what a slut is. The problem is not what people are saying. It used to be that slut-shaming was a matter of being cruel to someone in that unfortunate position. Today it is thought to be slut-shaming if you simply think that there is such a thing as a slut, and that somebody might actually be one. Today the problem is not self-righteous name-calling; today the problem is thought to be any retention of normal sexual standards.

Now I do need to take a brief moment to condemn the double standard that stigmatizes the woman as a slut, and yet provides us with no adequate word to describe the men of the football team who have been with as many women as she has been with men. But God has a word for it, and there is a day of judgment coming. So my point here is not to defend the men. My point simply has to do with the comparative fragility of a woman’s reputation — and all the politically correct legislation in the world cannot equalize this. Women just bruise more easily than men do, and this is true both of bodies and reputations. Anybody who wants to live in the real world needs to take this reality into account. It is a reality that must be navigated, not condemned.

And so all of this brings us down — quite naturally — to the current state of our presidential campaign. Is it really true that in a political campaign, wives and children are off-limits? No, of course not. It would be better to say that, in a culture where everybody had not lost their collective minds, wives and children would be off-limits.

Wives and children ought to be off-limits, but in order for that to be so you have to have a particular kind of culture, and you cannot have the kind of culture necessary for such respect for normal privacy if you have been assiduously destroying the foundations of such culture. As Lewis said, prophetically, we castrate and bid the geldings to be fruitful. We remove the organ and demand the function. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.

A few years ago, Melania Trump, then Melania Knauss, did a nude photo shoot for GQ magazine. In one of the shots, she was reclining on some kind of fur thingy (PETA, call your office), had on a diamond necklace and bracelets and very little else, and was handcuffed to some very important man’s briefcase. The subtext of this photo, for those who need to have these things spelled out for them, was that she was a very expensive and nice-looking piece of meat. What was happening there was that Donald Trump was showing off his current concubine.

Now she did all this out in public. She had these pictures published in a magazine. This was her job. She was a professional supermodel. Some women do accounting and other women show us their hotbod. You know, professionalism is an all-purpose disinfectant. Now an anti-Trump super-PAC (not connected with Ted Cruz) undertook to display this photo to the good voters of Utah, as much as to say to them that even though Melania is not a native of New York, this would be as good a display of New York values as anything else. Did you really want to elect someone so that we might have the whole world looking at photos of the First Babe handcuffed to a briefcase just oozing with money and store-bought testosterone?

So it is beyond stupid to say that we all need to pretend we are in the Truman/Dewey election and that personal attacks on spouses are just not done. This is a fine rule when everything is normal. But — and I trust that some of you have noticed this — nothing is normal anymore.

The dust-up about the Melania photo shoot was quickly followed by Donald Trump personally attacking Heidi Cruz (for no good reason), and this was quickly followed by the National Enquirer, run by a friend of Trump’s, printing an unsourced story alleging that Ted Cruz had had five mistresses. But in The Art of the Deal, Donald Trump bragged about his affairs with married women. “If I told the real stories of my experiences with women, often seemingly very happily married and important women, this book would be a guaranteed best-seller.” Well, scoring is what counts, isn’t it? And when you think your membrum virile and tiny little hands are a fit subject for presidential debates, you must have a lot to prove, don’t you? The allegations against Cruz are not worth answering, but remember that Trump glories in this kind of thing. Trump supporters are accusing Cruz of doing what Trump has openly boasted of doing. And so ends just one more day in the madhouse.

Now in a society that understands the fixed nature of the law of God, it is possible for an immoral woman to come to a banquet where the Lord was seated in order to wash His feet with ointment and tears (Luke 7:37-38). Not only was she received by Him, but she has also been continually honored by Christians down to the present. As far as the church is concerned, the tears she mixed with the ointment are the only tears she need ever shed. The woman is forgiven, just like the rest of us.

But never forget that this same Lord, in His pre-incarnate state, once sat in Abraham’s tents at another banquet, resting for a while in the course of His journey to Sodom, where He was about to destroy tens of thousands of immoral women with fire and brimstone from the sky. Not only so, but in a remarkable display of even-handedness for those patriarchal times, He also wiped out the men.

So the issue is not whether we are dealing with sex. The issue is whether we are dealing with humility or arrogance. Humility submits to the authority the Creator has over the world. Arrogance wants to remake the world. Circle back around — high end hookers and courtesans were precisely the kind of women who were often attracted to Christ’s ministry. And yes, I am referring to women just like Melania Trump. A gospel of grace that doesn’t have a lot of room for such women is a gospel that is alien to what is presented to us in the New Testament.

But women in her position, when confronted with the gospel, can go in two opposite directions. Women like that can respond the way Mary Magdalene did (Luke 8:2-3), or they can respond the way Herodias did (Mark 6:22,24). Unrepented arrogance about sexual immorality is the foundational problem, and is the problem that results in judgment. “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; She eateth, and wipeth her mouth, And saith, I have done no wickedness” (Prov. 30:20). In the course of the gospel’s progress through the world, many courtesans have heard the call to separate from Babylon, and to come out from her in order to be separate (2 Cor. 6:17). There were a number of such women in Christ’s entourage. But there were also a number of them who remained, or who, like Lot’s wife, wanted to remain (Luke 17:32). These women stayed in Babylon in order to drink the wine of the wrath of their fornication (Rev. 14:8).

I earlier mentioned the sob sisters of feminism, those who were going to be offended by what I was going to say here. I was referring to those egalitarian levelers who have absolutely destroyed the cultural respect that respected womanhood once had in our culture, and who want it to magically reappear whenever they have an emotional need for it. Well, sorry. If you tear down your house, you must live in the ruin.

Think about it. The rot we need to be fighting has gotten into everything. What is actually going on here? Fox News pretends to be a conservative news outlet, but it is actually a network trying to promulgate a form of sensible liberalism. Megyn Kelly, brassy newswoman, asker of tough questions at presidential debates, professional lawyer turned journalist, doesn’t mind doing the sexy sprawl for the camera. Take that, Melania.  And Shannon Bream, one of the regulars on Fox’s Special Report, said the other night (to Charles Krauthammer, of all people) that she wouldn’t mind photos of her out there like that, provided she looked like Melania. As if — notice the deadly assumption — the only possible rationale for feminine modesty is that one’s body must come up to the exacting standards established by the purveyors of one-handed magazines.

When the levelers are doing their work, their central demand, one they impose on all observers, is the requirement that no one actually see what is going on. No one is allowed to notice, and if they notice by accident, they are not allowed to say anything. Moreover, this remains the case even when the differences-that-must-be-ignored are manifest, enormous, glaring, and so on. You will be shouted down if you dare to say that there is, um, any significant difference between Melania showing us her booty and Eleanor Roosevelt planting a tree at some university in the Midwest. Wives are wives and wives are off-limits. Yes, that was quite true in the world you threw away. Now it would be more to the point to say that wives used to be off-limits, back when they weren’t showing off their booty to millions of people.

Only a few people are willing to say this kind of thing anymore, and so I arise to address the house. Puppies aren’t kittens. Circles aren’t squares. Call girls currently charging $300 an hour aren’t modest wives.

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40 ACRES & A KARDASHIANMISS CALVINISM 2016IliontimothyAndrew Recent comment authors

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FrJ+
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FrJ+

Hmm…Why did Jeff Roe (Cruz’s Campaign Manager) see fit to order and buy the rights to the same GQ photo of Melania Trump (Confirmed by GQ Sales Dept) as was used in the ad by “Make America Awesome?”
How is Donald Trump to blame that Cruz’s opponents have been pushing charges of adultery for at least
six months now—and that allies of former GOP presidential hopeful Marco
Rubio were involved in spreading the smears?

Ilíon
Member

“Now I do need to take a brief moment to condemn the double standard that stigmatizes the woman as a slut, and yet provides us with no adequate word to describe the men of the football team who have been with as many women as she has been with men. But God has a word for it …” So did my *grandmother*, she called them “whoremongers” (*). Another word is ‘cad’ You know, the thing about this alleged double standard is that it is, and always has been, *women* who set it up and propagate it. *Men* despise cads, because… Read more »

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

My grandparents used the same kind of language. They also had a very rude word for white people who dated blacks, which I won’t repeat here.. And they weren’t anomalies – nearly all the people of their generation talked that way.

Ilíon
Member

When my mother was growing up (in South Bend, IN), the Poles and Hungarians there had bad words — and harder deeds — for people romantically involved with people of the other race (*).

(*) The English word ‘race’ really isn’t primarily about skin-color, and it isn’t even about biology; it is a term of grouping and differentiating based on some chosen set of characteristics.

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

(*) The English word ‘race’ really isn’t primarily about skin-color, and it isn’t even about biology; it is a term of grouping and differentiating based on some chosen set of characteristics.

I know, right? Just like sex, race isn’t biological. You’d think Christians had never heard of Galatians 3:28 which says there’s no such thing as race or sex.

Ilíon
Member

*eyeroll*

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Sir, you may roll your eyes at God’s word, but some of us do not.

Ilíon
Member

*double eyeroll*

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

You know who’s not rolling their eyes?

All those gay guys and lesbians getting married, and suing bakers and photographers for discrimination if they refuse to participate.

Maybe Judeochristians should’ve thought a lot longer before they embraced the idiotic notion that race either doesn’t exist or isn’t important, and backed up their folly by pointing to Galatians 3:28.

Ilíon
Member

*triple eyeroll*

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

Just keep rolling your eyes. It’s a lot more pleasant than facing reality. Besides, I’ve gotten used to people rolling their eyes at me. I’ve been telling people for 25 years that because of massive non-white immigration, which we never had until 1965, it’s going to get harder and harder for a Republican to win the White House, and soon, after hispanics turn Texas Democrat again, it will be virtually impossible. For about 20 years, everyone rolled their eyes at me. But they’re not rolling them anymore. I was also telling people 25 years ago that if the 14th Amendment… Read more »

MISS CALVINISM 2016
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MISS CALVINISM 2016

Great points. What’s up with Rand Paul attacking people of color?

http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/267039-rand-trump-is-an-orange-faced-windbag

insanitybytes22
Member

“Women, on the other hand — obviously, not all, but many-approaching-most — seek out and reward cads.”

Not unlike men’s current fascination with Trump.

Ilíon
Member

Well, we do live in a feminized age, in which the “women” are intentionally reared to be junior high school girls their entire lives and the “men” are intentionally reared to be ersatz women.

adad0
Member

Just to help you keep the faith Memi, I can tell you that at least one guy is not facinated with Trump. That guy is, at most, mildly amused with Trump. ; – )

As in, Trump somehow seems like the human incarnation of “Bill the Cat” from the old “Bloom County” comic strip!

It must be the orange hair.

Conserbatives_conserve_little
Guest
Conserbatives_conserve_little

The feminists along with their congressional supporters are doing their vey best to arrange American law to promote the double standard so women can have their cake and eat it too with things like VAWA which is nearly totally anti man.

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

Judeochristians, even supposedly “patriarchal” Judeochristians like Doug Wilson, are in actuality radical feminists. They delude themselves that because they’re a tad less radical than the average Women’s Studies professor, they’re upholding traditional sex roles. But they deny that women possess moral agency. If a white male has sex with a woman he’s not married to, he’s a pig. But if a woman has sex with an entire football team? Not her fault – she’s just unlucky. She just somehow found herself in that “unfortunate position.” How dare people think she is a slut? So the assumption runs. But the problem… Read more »

insanitybytes22
Member

There are also many men who try to offer women up in a kind if plea bargain arrangement with God as if to say, why should I be accountable if she is not?

And the answer to that kind of envy is always Jesus Christ. Blameless, sin free, He took all our sin upon Himself.

wtrsims
Member

For the sake of the argument, why do you think that, “There are also many men who try to offer women up in a kind if plea bargain arrangement with God as if to say, why should I be accountable if she is not?” is the more common problem spirit than the excusing of women as the victim, rather than sinner, in our culture of sexual sin? Certainly, there are certain scandals involving preachers that have broken where the cheating and abusive celebrity pastor throws the women under the bus, but that’s normally the case when it comes to clergy… Read more »

insanitybytes22
Member

“Certainly, there are certain scandals involving preachers that have broken where the cheating and abusive celebrity pastor throws the women under the bus, but that’s normally the case when it comes to clergy being involved.” Well, pastors are called to have even more accountability and responsibility, right? So the harm they can do is greater, so the bible points out how those who teach will be judged more harshly. Men too, if they are to step into a position of leadership, if they are to walk in Christ’s authority, then they must take on a higher standard. It is not… Read more »

Katecho
Member

BCWAH seems to be slow in grasping Wilson’s point (apparently in order to misrepresent him). So I’ll break down the argument in my own words: When the football team slut repents in humility, there is no room for mocking or shaming her, because Christ has received her and He is her righteousness. To continue to mock the repentant is contrary to the Gospel. However, when there is an existing and powerful cultural stigma against unrepentant slutiness, there is also no need to dance up and down in mockery of the football team slut. The culture already has its moral eyes… Read more »

John
Member

Go slow with him.

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

LMAO

Steve H
Guest
Steve H

are you aware of your commitment to Egalitarianism?

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

Oh, brother…

Ilíon
Member

Well, scoring is what counts, isn’t it? And when you think your membrum virile and tiny little hands are a fit subject for presidential debates, you must have a lot to prove, don’t you?

So, you despise Trump. Big deal, so do I.

You could at least be honest in your criticisms of him. You know, as well as do we all, that it was “little Marco” — annoyed at being dismissed as “little Marco” — who introduced Trump’s “membrum virile and tiny little hands” into the (alleged) debate.

insanitybytes22
Member

I am not outraged or offended, but I do want to point something out, women are becoming immune to shaming of any sort because the entire culture has gone mad and we are now being consumed by mixed messages and paradoxes, indoctrinated by chaos. To make matters far more complex, it is often the more feminist, progressive side of the aisle doing the bulk of the shaming. The culture presents it as a simple matter of the rabid right oppressing women, but that isn’t quite true. If you want to see real slut shaming and woman shaming in general you… Read more »

ashv
Guest
ashv

Well, Republicans, looks like your choices are a cheerful libertine and a hypocritical Pharisee. For which did Jesus save his harshest condemnations?

Christopher
Member
Christopher

‘But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee.’

‘Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.’

Neither group faired well…

ashv
Guest
ashv

Agreed. Which suggests it’s time to ask deeper political questions than what kind of person to vote for.

Capndweeb
Guest
Capndweeb

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
…and they did.

adad0
Member

..and now all guys are the Beatles and all girls are swooning babes surrounding the Beatles!??

Hey Wait!! What happened? We don’t have the above! We don’t even have rainbows and ponies!

Who’da thunk all that “change” would result in transgender glaciers? ; – )

Capndweeb
Guest
Capndweeb

You say you’ll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it’s the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
All right, all right
All right, all right, all right
All right, all right, all right
It was and is a planned and orchestrated take-over. Infiltrate and destroy. Divide and conquer.
The revolution was and is publicized as rainbow ponies and swooning babes, but the true objective is destruction.

adad0
Member

Damn those “Trojan rainbow ponies”!????

LittleRedMachine
Guest
LittleRedMachine

Some here may recall an article, a lament really, on World Net Daily by Doug Wead, published March 9, 2016. http://mobile.wnd.com/2016/03/the-attack-on-trumps-wife-deja-vu-all-over-again/ I note it because it documents the first attach on Melania Trump came from a supporter of Ted Cruz, Texas lobbyist and consultant Andrea McWilliams. (Mrs. McWilliams has had her ethics questioned in the past, btw. See here http://www.texastribune.org/2013/03/06/-list-lobbyists-disclose-nothing-after-swanky-part/ Mr. Wead notes that this attach came on Fox News’ show “Your World with Neil Cuvato’ on March 8, 2016. Andrea McWilliams brought up Trump’s wife – to sum: unfit to be 1’st lady because she is his 3’rd wife,… Read more »

Lance Roberts
Guest

The real problem is that Trump has presented himself as he is, and that is not Christian or Conservative.

JohnM
Guest
JohnM

I agree, the real problem with Trump is Trump as he is.

Jonathan
Guest
Jonathan

You can also now add in that Cruz’s campaign manager, Jeff Roe, is apparently the one who originally bought the rights to the photo from GQ.

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

Ha! Cruz refuses to say plainly that he has never been unfaithful to his wife. Watch him dodge the question repeatedly, even after Carly Fiorina jumps in and tries to change the subject. He just keeps saying that the specific accusations in the NE are garbage, but refuses to say he’s never been unfaithful to his “wife.” http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc-quick-cuts/watch/fiorina-on-trump-he-is-a-serial-philanderer-653826115566 I say “wife”, because his marriage has always been a sham. For the first seven years of their marriage he and his wife lived apart, even after their first child was born. The first few years he lived in Austin where he… Read more »

Christopher
Member
Christopher

You’re essentially saying Ted Cruz is a slut right?

jsm
Guest
jsm

This reminds me of an ancient Chinese proverb “A key that opens many locks is a master. A lock that is opened by any key is useless.”.
Or was that a Facebook meme? I keep getting those confused.

Luke Pride
Guest

“The self-righteousness of the accusers would be more likely land ” Likely to land, I think.

Luke Pride
Guest

The double standard is often a shame for men, though word’s like womanizer are used with negative implication. However, while it seems bad for men when there is actually promiscuity involved, one should recognize a positive aspect when there is no promiscuity involved. Men do tend to respect that guy who is good at sports, well built, attractive. Look at most high schools, and these guys are the people other guys want to be friends with. They think he is someone they would like to be like. Though many times this is also because he has many woman, often the… Read more »

BDash76
Guest
BDash76

why do you expect anything from Megyn? she has a house husband and is the head of her home, expecting her to be conservative is naive….

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

Cruz refuses to go on record as saying he’s never cheated on his “wife”; when asked, he just keeps reiterating that the NE article isn’t true, but repeatedly refuses to say he’s never been unfaithful.

http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc-quick-cuts/watch/fiorina-on-trump-he-is-a-serial-philanderer-653826115566

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3513200/Ted-Cruz-dodges-question-s-faithful-wife-endorser-Carly-Fiorina-leaps-insist-declaration-s-not-adulterer-dance-Donald-trump-s-tune.html

And now Heidi has canceled a whole bunch of upcoming appearances in New Jersey.

http://www.capitalnewyork.com/article/new-jersey/2016/03/8595008/heidi-cruz-cancels-nj-campaign-events

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

Puppies aren’t kittens. Circles aren’t squares. Call girls currently charging $300 an hour aren’t modest wives.

Good stuff, Doug. But why stop there? How about this one:

And “marriages” where the man and woman live a thousand miles apart for the first several years so the “wife” can pursue her dreams of becoming an international banker aren’t marriages, but shams.

Oh, yeah – you can’t say that, because that would be shaming Heidi Cruz. You wrote this post to attack Melania Trump.

Never mind!

Katecho
Member

On what criteria is BCWAH declaring that Heidi is not a wife? He doesn’t say.

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
Guest
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN

Doug – a few questions: 1) What kind of marriage is it when the “husband” and “wife” agree to live a thousand miles apart for the first several years of their marriage, and hundreds of miles apart after the first child is born? Not even sharing a home for the first seven years of marriage – is this really what God intended for marriage? One flesh, to have and to hold, better to marry than to burn, spiritual protector, head of the home, render due benevolence, etc, all out the door so Heidi can pursue her dreams of a career… Read more »

Ben
Guest
Ben

It’s looking pretty bad for Cruz. He’s obviously not willing to give a blanket denial. Moreover, I find it very strange that he was willing to berate Trump for making groundless accusations through the NE, when the accusation that Trump had anything to do with it was itself groundless. Does he not have people in his own camp to point out such obvious contradictions? Or is it all just “yes” men?

David Mullin
Guest
David Mullin

Well said Mr. Wilson. One small footnote. I think Calvin says in his commentaries that Lot’s wife probably went to heaven and her salty ending was just an example to us not to turn back longingly to our old sins.