Our Wounded Duck Football Punt Election

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I have an encouraging word for those who really care about the future of our nation, all fourteen of them. I think it would be fair to describe these people as having a serious case of the jumps, and they need a word of encouragement. And I speak in jest — I know there are more than fourteen, and I speak to however many there are. That includes you, sister.

As in, I mean, here we are, seven weeks away from yet another death-defying election, and all fourteen of these thoughtful spectators are on edge. Three of them have a left eye that is starting to twitch. Six of them have had to go to the dentist several times because they have been grinding their teeth down. This is on account of how they dream every night of the various ways in which the Biden administration could turn into the Harris administration. As the skateboarding youth of today might put it — “how delightsome!” And the remaining five have a pallor that makes sickly green seem like the very pink of health.

Now this election, like a wounded duck football punt, could bounce any number of directions. That means a wise person will be emotionally and spiritually prepared for any number of contingencies — because footballs can bounce funny. So brace yourselves. But that preparation should not include believing all the handlers who are trying stage manage everybody beforehand. Allow me to explain.

The Revolution Will Too Be Televised

Contrary to that song by Gil Scott-Heron, the revolution will most definitely be televised. Everybody has a video camera in their pocket or purse, for pity’s sake.

On this 2020 Tilt-a-Whirl cycle, almost any news you see is the result of somebody trying to jigger with this election. Just about everything has to do with getting Trump out of office, by hook, by crook, and not by the book. If arsonists set fire to urban areas, it is a peaceful protest. If arsonists set fire to forests, it is climate change. Funny how climate change can drive up and down the Interstate, setting fires right next to the road. Also funny how climate change stops at the Canadian border. And when the health authorities declare a pandemic, it is not necessary for them to defend this notion against any cogent objections that might be offered. You just have your boys at Google, Amazon, Facebook, and Twitter shut the dissenters down. The unapproved information was probably coming from a QAnon nutter anyhow. And incidentally, if you are a pastor, and if you have been keeping any of God’s people away from the Word and sacrament because they see what is going on and you don’t, and if also (this part is crucial) some time within the last month you personally have been driving out in the country, all by yourself and with a mask on, then you are no shepherd of God’s flock. You are actually an ordained tool and patsy. Now let us switch scenes. If you are a drug-addicted inmate in California (with an ironic name like, say, John MacArthur), they will let you out of chokey because of all the COVID danger in there (instead of giving you a mask), whereupon you may, at your liberty, patronize an essential California service, like, say, a cannabis emporium. But if you are ANOTHER John MacArthur, and you attempt to worship God with God’s people, you are a hazard and a menace, and the state of California will then draw itself up to its full majesty, what there is left of it, and proceed against you in the courts. And then, if you have seen Joe Biden sniffing the little girls on multiple occasions, this must mean that you have a dirty mind. You don’t have a lofty biblical mind like those soft left Bible scholars who inhabit the evangelical stratosphere, and who now intend to vote for Biden. If we wanted, we could also call this the true colors election. And speaking of Joe Biden, if you have noticed that the Democrats are running someone who is at least twelve yards into his dotage, then you, my friend, have adopted a “controversial” position. You are probably a QAnon nutter too, another one.

And incidentally, just for the record, the QAnon people really are nutters.

All of these shrill inconsistencies, all this pandemonium, is about disrupting the election, fomenting chaos, and drumming leftist heels on the floor unless and until they get their way. All of it is election tampering.

Rounding into the Straight

But then the media, pollsters and pundits have their own game going. This does not exclude their full and enthusiastic participation in the game described above. It just means that they have a side hustle going as well.

Obviously, there are a bunch of people who want you to do different things during the course of this election. The Democrats want you to vote for Democrats. The Republicans want you to vote for Republicans. The Libertarians want you to vote for a little wispy cloud high above the Arizona desert. Free and lonely, the cloud seems to say. The Greens want you to vote for a federally financed expansion of the Everglades as far west as Alabama. So the political activist johnnies obviously want you to do stuff.

But the news networks also want you to watch their news shows every single night between now and November 3. Because ratings! Because advertisers! And in order for that feat to be accomplished, what do they need? I will tell you what they need. They need a close race, that’s what. What happens at a football halftime when one of the teams is up by 49 points? The stadium tends to empty out, as you might recall.

And so their model is to treat a presidential race as though it were a horse race, with the deep assumption embedded in everyone’s minds that the polls running up to the actual voting are “scientific” and something more than high tech guessing. In actual fact, polling is simply two levels up from haruspicy. For purposes of illustration, say that there were only three polls taken before election day. These polls are taken as POLL FACT/POLL FACT/POLL FACT/ELECTION FACT, which is why they love to use the word tightening. They talk as if they can actually see the horses rounding into the straight. Whereas, what we actually have is POLL GUESS/POLL GUESS/POLL GUESS/ELECTION FACT.

In the week before the 2016, what were we all looking at? We were not looking at the horses rounding into the straight. We were all blindfolded, including those calling the race, and about ten yards before the finish, we all took the blindfolds off. And what we saw didn’t comport with how the race had been called up to that point. Remember?

So the election might be close. But it is not close because of what everybody is talking about. It might be close because God wants to visit some more mayhem on us, and which we richly deserve. Mercy would consist of the election not being anywhere close to being close.

So suppose mercy then. Suppose that Trump takes it walking away. Are we done? Not even close.


The logic of our political structures assumes a two-party system, and indeed helped to create the necessity of two parties. In a parliamentary system, the coalitions are formed after the election, and so it is natural to have a swarm of political parties. In our system, the coalitions are formed before the election, which helps to explain all of the odd bedfellows.

From the beginning of the republic, we have had Republicans, and the Federalists, and the Whigs, and the Democrats, but always in pairs. Sometimes a third party upstart (Bull Moose or Ross Perot) can affect an election, but they don’t really come into their own unless one of the established parties blows up.

I say all this because even though our structures assume two parties, they do not dictate which two parties they will be. Periodically one of the established political parties implodes, and is replaced by another one. The new replacement party makes the necessary adjustments to the new realities on the ground — and is not just a spiffy paint job on the old party.

I don’t see how Trump can win without winning big. Put another way, I think the only way Trump can win is through a decisive blow-out. If it is close, if it is a squeaker, a squeaker either way, I believe our only options will be a slow drift into totalitarianism or civil war.

But I also don’t see how Trump could win big without the Democratic Party then assuming the shape and demeanor of a large smoking crater. They have pushed all their chips to the middle of the table. If they lose this one, then they have lost everything. Their behavior since the 2016 election has all been driving toward this final ultimatum — “either Trump goes or we do.” So if Trump doesn’t go, then that huge blammo sound you heard was the end of the Democratic Party. And if that happens, and our constitutional system is saved, remember our constitutional and political structures (that were just saved) assume a two-party system. That means there will be another political party. Will I be in it, or opposed to it? Don’t know yet.

Evangelical Christians need to be thinking about this as one of the possible contingencies we are going to face. More on this will be posted here, as events continue to unfold. This is because a bunch of us may have to pivot, and pivot hard. This should be thought through beforehand, and not be based on a thoughtless yay team response to how the leftists immolated themselves.

Enough for now.