Mostly Peaceful Letters

My wife has been watching Charlie Kirk clips, who I think is a generally smart guy with good things to say. But then she showed me the following video, which immediately set off alarm bells once he started talking about “My beliefs can established by reason apart from Scripture.” Curious for your feedback, if I can get it. Sounds like a good way to build your house on the sand.
Thanks,

A

I attended the Fight Laugh Feast 2024 Conference this past weekend, and while I agree with all you said about fatherlessness and the need for men to lead, it left me a bit discouraged. What advice do you have for women who are married to weak men, that don’t lead and don’t study the Scriptures in order to be instructed by them? My husband claims the name of Christ and faithfully provides & takes us to church, but I am concerned about him in light of Paul’s admonition in Hebrews 5:12-14. He is a hearer of the word, but not a doer. Any time I have gone to a pastor for counsel they just encourage me to submit to and respect my husband and say that this is a common problem. We are now in our 40’s with grown & teenage children, and I feel defeated in terms of our legacy. Any instruction or encouragement you can give would be most appreciated. Thank you for your ministry.

WM

How would you recommend a wife asking her (godly) husband to pray together consistently, without it being the wife assuming a leading role? Or being a nagging harpy?
Not looking for an hour of devotions/heart-to-heart, just 5 minutes a day?
We are new to the patriarchy and I have some bad habits to unlearn re:bossy/usurping. My husband is amazing and I am proud to follow his lead. But my soul is hungry and faint—how do I communicate that one of the chief ways I need leadership is to the Word and the Throne?
Thank you for all you do,

J

Imagine we are in 2004, and G.W.B is running for a 2nd term. And Bush comes out and says, the American people will never support a total abortion ban, so we need to moderate. The evangelical community would have been up in arms. They would have demanded a primary. They would demand he retract and refused support until he did. I guarantee 2004 Doug Wilson is up in arms about this weak-willed Republican.
Yet here we are in 2024. The Republican Party weakens its policy position on abortion for the first time in decades. I listened to JD Vance on Rogan, and he says, “I’ve learned a lot from the people of Ohio who rejected pro-life ballot measures. We need to respect people who are pro-choice, let the states decide, and go no further. Maybe we can all just agree on late-term.” This is high wickedness. It’s been disappointing to see so little ink on your blog spent on this topic. The Republicans should be getting eviscerated by any Christian with a public voice. But yet all I hear is how we need to vote Trump but ‘hold his feet to the fire’ once he’s in office. Trump and Vance clearly don’t feel their feet held to the fire now, why would you think there’s any chance it’ll happen in office?
You can say, “Trump gave us Justices.” I can respond with, “congrats, you got Roe v Wade, and the Republican party has no desire to continue the fight. But you also got the garbage Bostock (transgender) decision, authored by Gorsuch.” I don’t believe a thinking Christian can support Kamala. But for the life of me, I don’t understand the level of support for Trump this cycle.

Jason

Would you be able to recommend any books for pastors struggling with depression (besides the Bible), or for their flocks to read to better support and understand their pastor’s affliction?
Kind regards,

Beth

I’m wondering how you handled the subject of eschatology with your father. I’ve seen you talk about how you became postmil along the way, and from what I’ve read about your dad, he seems to have been more of a typical evangelical. It led me to assume (maybe wrongly?) that he was not postmil. If he was not, how did you handle this disagreement or different point of view? It seems he was a big influence on your children and surely this topic came up along the way?
I have noticed there seems to be two strict camps when it comes to eschatological views: the folks who don’t really talk about it, and the ones who can’t stop talking about it. I’ve got “rapture-ready” folk in my own family that I’ve had to ask to settle down a bit around my own children. It can be messy.
What are your thoughts?

ST

Written in Anticipation of NQN

November is come, a special time,
for even in far Oceania,
we eagerly await the glowing display
of Doug Wilson’s pyromania.

I heard of Doug Wilson a few years back
when some friends I do not name,
did tell me that one month each year
he’d set some things aflame.

With shock and glee I watched this bloke,
while puffing a cigar,
send up in smoke a house, a boat,
and once, a moving car.

November is come, and the days grow hot,
but yet hotter is my desire
to find out, this year, exactly what
Doug Wilson sets on fire.

Anon Australian

I always enjoy the NQN vibe and hearing that Moss Cow Moo without qualification once a year. However, the first installment about the mackerel, I didn’t disagree with it, I just didn’t get it. There was a lot of imagery but it was not clear to me what the evangelical establishment is doing specifically that makes them shine and stink. Something about money, I gathered, and something about being respectable. Any more specifics to tie the analogy together? If I am the only one who was unclear on this point, I withdraw my complaint and I will try to read it again.
It also made me wonder, on the point about money, how the Canon coffers are faring. Could an opponent legitimately call hypocrisy on the money point, when Canon is likely profiting, especially in November? Don’t know the details, obviously, but it was a question that immediately popped into my mind when I read it, and I was not the only one who thought the same. No accusations here, just an observation.
Looking forward to the rest of the month.

Tim

I respect your decision to stay “out of the Lawson thing.” Yet, while we can grieve for his wife and family, and pray for his repentance and restoration, we can also express righteous anger. Lawson was not a private parishioner. As a very public minister, his sin also disgraced believers, dishonored the church, and profaned God. Outrageously, his institutions appear to be hiding without an adequate accounting to the faithful. Their behavior reeks of a bureaucratic whitewash by the merchants of Christianity, Inc. who have commercialized the faith into an income stream and do not wish to interrupt (ghost written) book sales, conference speaker fees, likes, clicks, and views. After all, let us not pretend they would respond the same way if, God forbid, you were the one who had to step down due to an indiscretion. You and your ministry would not receive the same silence and soft-pedaling treatment that Lawson and his church have. In Matthew 18, we have a guide for how to handle sin in the church. Do we have a guide for how a church should handle sin by such a public minister?
Regards,

Al

I’m curious what sort of position you think Tulsi Gabbard should fill in the (God-willing) upcoming Trump administration—primarily because I think it highlights a few very interesting biblical issues with women, military service, and leadership.
Tulsi’s military service has been with medical units. By my read, this does seem to be something that is biblically allowed, even with deployed units, as long as it’s not an active front line position. And she has quite the distinguished service career in that role.
To the Trump-led unity coalition she is bringing a deep personal knowledge of the corruption of the military industrial complex and an absolute revulsion of the pressure that complex brings to encourage unnecessary wars. It seems like she is candidate #1 for dismantling that corrupt edifice.
Given both of these facts, would it make sense for her to be Secretary of Defense? I would normally think a warrior should be there and that should necessarily mean the killer instincts that I think requires male leadership—but perhaps this is a counter-intuitive situation where we’re looking for someone who’s primary instinct is not an outward-looking defensive posture but an inward-looking skeptical posture, with defense actually as a secondary concern. What do you think?

Ian

I am tirelessly searching for something you wrote/said in the last couple years. You were talking about how, in the future, you would start being accused of being “too liberal”, because you saw where things were going with Christian conservatives. About how extremism is often not grounded in truth, and how it would be necessary for you to start pulling in the other direction. Any help locating that would be helpful—thank you!

Aaron

NQN 7.0—Pastor Wilson and the Canon + team: Well done, and Brav-O! I love the change-up of style and absolutely delighted in the roast of the Mr. Rogers niceties (not Mr. Rogers, but the sentiment). The entire video is a veritable cornucopia of “Easter eggs,” layers, and creativity. Kudos to the video team and their attention to detail . . . loved the glow of the sweater flames on your neck, as well as the little man diving in the river. I’m not sure how compensation is structured at Cannon +, but it would seem a few people may deserve a little extra in their Christmas stocking this year. Good form!

John

I was reading Ezekiel 16 today—in it God is recounting how his people have acted like a prostitute and that he will therefore punish them. v43 says “Because you did not remember the days of your youth and have enraged me with all these deeds, I hereby repay you for what you have done, declares the Sovereign Lord.” I remembered from both your books and several other parenting books that disciplining children out of anger is not okay. We should discipline because an objective standard of obedience has been crossed, not because I have finally reached my limit of patience. How would you take language like that in Ez 16? A prima facie reading gives the impression of God reaching his limit of patience and will now punish his people. Perhaps drawing parenting principles from this chapter is bad application, but curious how you’d see such language in scripture informs how we should behave.

CU

A brief comment on a line from your piece, “A Stretch of White Water Ahead.” You stated, “The Harris campaign is acting like they are going to lose, and all they can come up with is one Hail Mary after another. Perhaps, since Trump was rash enough to hold his rally in Madison Square Garden, we can draw the attention of the American people to the fact that actual Nazis met there also one time, in the exact same spot.” Unfortunately, this particular Hail Mary is even worse than it seems, as the current Madison Square Garden (MSG) is the fourth, which is not in the same location where, and in fact was not even open when, the pro-Nazi meeting was held in the third MSG in 1939!

JZ

“actual Nazis met there also one time, in the exact same spot.”
The fact that the 1939 Nazi rally was not in the current “spot” or building has some significance but the claim is stupid no matter what.

Dave

As someone who has never know his father, this song hit. Thought you’d like to know it’s out there . . .

Anthony

I consider myself a relatively conservative Christian. I understand being appalled by the excesses of the Left over the last few years and voting for Trump as a way to combat that.
What I do not understand is the excitement for voting for him and seeing him as a positive good (rather than the lesser of two evils). Some even seem to see him as a second St Paul and are putting him on holy cards, complete with halo and angel wings.
And I just don’t get it.
Despite the occasional charm and sense of humor, the man has no sense of self-restraint, and he has a hellish fixation on his own ego. He is susceptible to flattery and will warm to anyone who says nice things about him, even if that individual is a dictator like Kim Jong Un. He was nonchalant about his supporters calling for the execution of his own VP. He rants endlessly in all caps on Twitter/X over the most trivial of slights.
I don’t think these are characteristics worth emulating, and I think it’s embarrassing that our nation’s highest elected official would exhibit these characteristics.
Can we vote for him to stave off some greater societal decay? Perhaps. But I also understand why people are concerned about his sanity and just how far he’s willing to go to feed his endless need for affirmation.
So what am I missing? What Christian moral framework sees Donald Trump as America’s Moses for the 21st century?

James

I’m a pastor and the idea of starting a Christian school has been floating around in the back of my head for some time now. However, there is one major obstacle: time. Specifically, the demands on a pastor’s schedule are such that there is precious little time to devote to anything other than the bare necessities of pastoral ministry and my family.
Additionally, I’m struggling to see how a school fits in with my charge to devote myself to “prayer and the ministry of the word.” I understand that the “ministry of the word” contains many aspects, but I don’t want to stretch it beyond its intended meaning just to include everything that involves a Bible verse.
Any advice to a pastor who wants to impact the world for Christ through education but also doesn’t want to neglect the things he knows he should be doing week in and week out?
Thank you!

Caleb

In your response to Jeanie’s question about forgiveness, yes, we desperately need you to write more about this. Specifically, how do we handle it when the offense is when I’ve committed a grievous sin, repented of it, but my family refuses to acknowledge that and forgive me (not that I’m entitled to forgiveness but it sure sucks when forgiveness is withheld), and the resentment and hatred that spills out of everyone is such that a relationship is just not possible, no matter how much I love them and desire that to be so?
Also, I want to be careful of being guilty of falling into the “But what about . . .” trap and using that as an excuse to not deal with things. I think a lot of people do that, using “But what about . . .” as an excuse. I do think there are legitimate “But what about…” questions, and that’s what I hope to get sorted out.

grh

As someone who is Reformed but also extremely covenantal and one who sees the meta narrative throughout Scripture, how do you deal with the objection from a non-reformed individual that Romans 9-11 has nothing to do with personal salvation, that election is only to service not to salvation, and the same goes for predestination? I understand the text is deeply covenantal and highlighting the ingrafting of the Gentiles into the redemptive plan to bless the world, but I think there are still elements throughout the text that are referencing salvific issues concerning election, predestination, etc. The non-Reformed are quick to make the observation that many Calvinists misquote Romans 9 from its greater covenantal context and yank it out of sequence from the general flow of Paul’s argument (Rom. 9-11), I’v’e seen this take from people like N.T. Wright, some of the criticism I do find valid, but not entirely.

BI

Over the last several weeks I have been very interested in my role as a husband and what is required. I read your reforming marriage book; very helped by that resource. Currently reading Father Hunger! 
This inquiry has led me to become very interested in Presbyterianism. So I’m writing to ask you for some more book suggestions when it comes to understanding what Presbyterianism is all about? I want to lead my family in the most Christ-honoring way and the more I learn the more I realize how little I know. Covenant theology is so intriguing to me, especially since my Southern Baptist background wasn’t much help in that regard. 
I look forward to your response! Thank you for your ministry and faithfulness to Christ.
Always reforming in Christ, 

Noah

Concerning the letters on Charlotte Mason. I think Charlotte Mason educational philosophy can be considered “classical adjacent,” meaning there are areas that overlap, but Mason did have some beliefs about the nature of children and how to teach morality that I’m not sure are Biblical, but I’m not an expert. Also, both Classical and Charlotte Mason educational philosophies can be Christian education or not! Just like there is Classical Islamic education, there is (increasingly more these days) secular Charlotte Mason curriculum and programs. So just because a program is using Charlotte Mason educational philosophy doesn’t mean it is a Christian education.

Mrs. D

Have you read Martin Luther’s “On the Jews and Their Lies”, and if so, what’s your assessment of it?
Thank you, and Godspeed!

Chris

Excellent blog on the sexual marketplace . . . And I as a pastor, I see the reality of the things you’re pointing to all too clearly. I’m confident you’ve addressed this elsewhere, but one of the ongoing issues I see in young Men who are reluctant to marry is the shame of pornography feels Disqualifying. I think a follow-up post speaking to that issue would be really helpful as well. Thanks for the great work you do.

Robert

Dear Pastor Wilson,
Is there a book version of the Reformed Basics series?
Thanks,

Jake

I’m reading through the Auburn Avenue Chronicles, and it has me greatly discouraged. The treatment given to Steve Wilkins and the Louisiana Presbytery in 2007, along with the treatment of FV as a whole, has me hesitant to move my family to a local PCA church. It’s going to be our first time in a fully Reformed church. I’m wondering now if it would be best to try the Anglican one since they’re far less likely to care about certain things. Unless I’m wrong and the PCA has finally mellowed out!
Thanks for your books and influence.

James

I enjoyed your article yesterday, which was incredibly timely for my situation. What is your advice for someone (such as myself) that attends a church where latent feminism has started to show up in the lymphatic system and maybe even metastasize? I have a good relationship with my local leadership and have talked about it some with them, but it seems like the perception is that it’s not as big of an issue as I’ve made it out to be. To be fair, we aren’t talking about women’s ordination . . . yet . . . but we are seeing a slow leftward slide, especially in the areas of our church that tend toward social work, counseling, etc. It’s started to creep into the vernacular of ‘happy wife, happy life’ and a lot of emphasis on servant leadership, whatever that means. I think the majority of the congregation I’m a part of would call themselves complementarian, but quite a few would be in the ‘thin’ branch or not even see what the big deal is. It’s this level of apathy that has me most concerned. I sometimes wonder if I’m overthinking the situation, but we are already hearing the typical “original Greek” discussions of kephale, etc. My read is that we’re at stage 1 or 2 but well on our way to palliative care.
Thanks!

Tim

How specific should spouses be in confessing their sexual sin to one another?
Obviously, if there was physical intimacy with another person then that would need to be addressed. However, I’m thinking about less “obvious” sins such as lust. Should one simply confess the general sin of lust? The specific person for whom the lust occurred? Every single time it happens or just if it was a particularly bad case?
I know our Holy Spirit-directed conscience will guide us, but I’m also looking for some practical wisdom.

CE