“You should build your household the same way you would build a house. Go into the basement and look at the concrete walls. They’re cold, hard and straight. They don’t fool around. They are Calvinistic and covenantal. There’s no affection, no warmth. It’s just concrete. But precisely because there’s no warmth down there, precisely because the lines are straight, precisely because the concrete is cold and hard, it becomes possible to have warmth elsewhere. So go upstairs and look at the living room. Pillows, curtains, soft carpet, pictures on the wall. It’s truly pleasant, a place where you can sit on rainy Saturday afternoons to read. But the only reason anything is pleasant here is because of the concrete in the basement. If you mess with that order, you’re going to get chaos. Roll up the carpet, gather up the cushions, throw on the sofa, and try to build a stud wall on that. All you’ll get is a big, wobbly pile.”
Keep Your Kids, pp. 60-61