FebLetters, Let Us Call Them

Is it wise or even right for Christians to be cremated? I have heard Christians from both camps with the general arguments for cremation of being “good stewards” financially, and burial being an image and hope for the resurrection for others to see. What are your thoughts on this matter and thank you for all the years of excellent teaching along with good humor as well.

Mark

I’m not in pastoral ministry, but I am in training for a smaller leadership role at my church: think “rulers of 10” from Exodus 18:25. I was wondering if you could recommend three or four biblical (yet practical) books on leadership (besides Rigney’s, I have those).
Thanks, and God bless.

MM

I have recently been appointed as the General Manager of a Christian Children’s Home in South Africa. I have learned so much from your books on discipline that I thought it prudent to lay my conundrum before your feet.
As I am going through the old files I am appalled at the manner in which discipline has been doled out. Yet being a children’s home, dealing with the psychological constraints of children from abuse, and the legal constraints of the nation, I find it difficult to find a good alternative to the plank wielding love I bestow on my own children.
We deal with serious sexual misconduct as well as things like rebellion and running away. Can I mine your grey matter and pastoral experience on this topic.
You may feel obliged to answer since we named our favorite and quite heavily bearded male Nigerian Dwarf goat after you.
Thank you and God bless.

Jaco

I am writing because I just read a news article (link below) which truly appalled me. In the article it described an “experiment” in Amsterdam wherein female students were housed with African migrants. Unsurprisingly there were . . . issues. The article came to the appropriate conclusion—that system as established is without redemptive potential—and while that is comforting, I can’t help but think that it’s only because it was written not in the US.
Anyway, I’m writing to you the because a term they used made me think of you; “suicidal empathy.” Quite appropriate for what is happening in many places of our world right now.
Thank you for your column. My family has been blessed by your ministry.

Martha

You might enjoy this:
My mom shared it with me; we have family in the area and the word on the street is that you have to buy tickets to get in because there are so many men wanting to come and sing.

Dinah

What are some scriptural arguments against the stricter view of fellowship held by Lutherans who use verses like Romans 16:17 and others as the basis for not praying/communing/worshiping without full doctrinal agreement? The argument I heard that praying with a convinced baptist is like being okay with a little bit of “rat poison” in their food.

Anon

In a response to another letter you say “Interposition on behalf of rapists, killers, and gang-bangers is unrighteous.” I’ve seen a lot of the sentiment that Minnesotans are trying to protect criminals and therefore have no moral justification to oppose federal operations. I don’t think this has actually been established.
Data released by ICE last year shows that, as of November 16, 26% of their detainees had criminal charges, 26% had pending criminal charges, and the remaining 48% had civil immigration charges. The data does not distinguish between violent crime and misdemeanors or illegal re-entry, which means that the percent of detainees who are convicted of the serious crimes you mentioned is somewhere under that 26%. This data also shows that since January 2025 ICE has ramped up detainment of non-criminals significantly more than that of criminals.
DHS claims that Minnesota authorities release criminal aliens with ICE detainers onto the streets instead of into ICE custody. The Minnesota Department of Corrections contests this, and has shown that criminals they transferred to ICE have been listed on the “worst of the worst” arrest lists along with criminals ICE had to actually hunt down, obfuscating the fact that the state authorities are in fact cooperating. (It seems Hennepin County specifically is NOT, but I have yet to see anyone noting a problem with them rather than with “Minnesota.”)
I’m also seeing a lot of confusion about what makes an immigrant a legitimate target for detainment and deportation. It seems at least some detainments are for people whose status is being re-examined despite previously being considered legal. Or you have the issue of the family of the 5-year-old who has been all over the news: ICE says they entered illegally and Adrian Conejo Arias has an order for removal; their lawyer says they entered legally using the CBP app and have no order for deportation. But they entered under the Biden administration, and I’m seeing people say that Biden-era authorities admitted people and assured them they had legal status without actual legal justification, and that those people should be deported.
On top of all that, ICE has been instructed to meet a quota of 3,000 arrests per day, and officers are rewarded for arrests even if the person in question is later released without charges. This doesn’t incentivize going after criminals; it incentivizes going after anyone you can plausibly claim “reasonable suspicion” about, which is consistent with Minnesotan complaints about ICE operations.
I’m sure some are against any enforcement whatsoever and have no problem with protecting violent criminals. But what I hear from people local to the Twin Cities is that they’re seeing random stops and mass arrests, detainment of large numbers of community-integrated non-criminal illegals, legal immigrants, and the occasional citizen, unnecessary violence (again sometimes directed against citizens who are mistaken for immigrants), and mistreatment of detainees (some of whom are being denied access to counsel). In these circumstances, to represent the Minnesotan attitude as being about defending criminals, without referencing federal misconduct, is to miscommunicate the situation and the Minnesotan response to it.
Having said my piece on that, “Marriage, Miscegenation & More” was a fun read. The assumptions that get people to the one drop thing ARE pretty wacky. I was a big Cave of Adullam fan back in the day and appreciate the wit.

Cat

I’d love to hear any valuable thoughts or wisdom you have on young marriages (ie. 18-20 range). Where should lines be drawn about financial/physical independence? What kind of character does the man need for a young marriage to be prudent?
This is pertinent since I am a college student in that age range. I’ve always been a very internally motivated person: substantial scholarships, top of the ROTC OML, actively memorizing the catechism, and whatnot . . . and I think that is important in this case because of the nature of who needs to be getting married in our society. I think a young marriage would be helpful for the church guy who needs a kick in the butt, a workout plan, and an anti-porn software, but I don’t fall into those categories. My life could be aptly summarized as “consistent hard work over time.”
I guess my thought here is that aside from sex and children, there is nothing a marriage could give me that I couldn’t get from God. Fulfillment, love, connection, and so on. And I am too young to have children. Sex is unique in that I do have a strong sex drive, but currently I just put that energy into working hard. I am certainly not called to constancy, but aside from sex, I don’t know that marriage would do much for me in this season of life. And yet, I still long to be married. How should I navigate the tension here between rational thoughts and longings?
One other, more practical question. I feel like Christian girls my age are afraid of settling down young. If a girl doesn’t want you to wreck her plans, her problem is with you, not the plans. But being young is a flaw that only clocks can fix. How do I become the kind of man, that even at 20, a girl would call herself blessed to be mine? I don’t want to date for four years, but girls get squirrely about settling down young.
Blessings to you and yours,

Josh

I’ve written a few times previously about this question. Regarding the Zionist controversy, I’m looking to understand to what is in public, verified by witnesses, and confirmed to be factual. With all the animus and goofy antics on display, it’s not helpful in my view to bat around conspiracies right now, even if we discover later some of them held water. So in terms of stuff we can agree is reality, I wanted to get your take on this post by Aaron Renn:
He confirms a less insidious version of what the dissident right is saying: that a coalition of Jewish leadership in America pursue a strategy of “Shtadlan” or “intercessor” politically—they attach themselves to a bigger power to do things for them that they need rather than focus on building their own sovereign wealth and powe
Unless I’m missing something, that is a naked admission that they want to co-opt America’s interests for Israel. Speaking carefully, I note this strategy is a mind set of the political power players in this community, but perhaps not its majority. With that qualification, can we agree their described strategy lends credence to a less rabidly venomous notion that this Jewish coalition—whoever its membership comprises and however fringe they are among the living descendants of Jacob—is motivated by a political will to oppose the interests of the American citizens? And is willing to use their wealth, political capital, and levers of power at their disposal to co-opt American leaders to serve their interests rather than ours?
I ask because it seems to me that there would emerge a mutual recognition between the C.N. Right and the Resentful Right that, yes, this form of Jewish political interest group is by definition not to be trusted and by default its opinions are to be considered bad for America until investigation determines otherwise. Which I think would go a long way to at least granting a logical point we all share about the Jewish controversy. My hope after that would be that the Resentful Right could take the sin of resentment at those who persuaded our government to wrong us more seriously. Obviously some of those folks are into their resentment quite deeply, but unlike Caleb Campbell, my heart goes out to guys caught in the lie that the darkest red pill justifies all rage. After all, when it comes down to it, they may well be putting their lives on the line for me in a second Revolutionary War.
But maybe this is an old news argument you’ve made a few dozen times before, so please let me know where I have failed Stephen Wolfe to do the reading he told me to do. Thanks,

Patrick

What do you make of the timing of 1 Jn. 2:28? Just a few verses later when he mentions the present reality of antichrists and that they are in the last hour of the Judaic aeon, it seems like the natural reading here of v. 28 is that John is still speaking of Jesus’ coming in judgment towards the covenant breakers at 70AD. Thoughts?
P.S. I just wrote you on 1 Jn. 2.:28, but meant to include 1 Jn. 3:2 as well, what are your thoughts there? Second coming or 70AD?

Benjamin

I want to thank you for all of your content; it has had a wonderful and edifying impact on me and my ministry. Faithful men like you and John MacArthur completely transformed my outlook on pastoral ministry.
I am a pastor in Northeast PA of two small, rural churches belonging to the newly established Global Methodist Church, a conservative breakaway denomination started in reaction to the radical progressvism of the United Methodist Church. Forced to leave behind all of our assets and buildings, the two congregations voted to leave the UMC and start from scratch, and I am thankful to God for how he put me there for that moment and used me in leading the flocks.
However, the Global Methodist Church, while more conservative and orthodox, is not without its problems, mainly, the ordaining of women, which has long been accepted in mainstream Methodism. Having grown up in the denomination, I never even heard it questioned. Women pastors and bishops were as commonplace and ordinary as potluck dinners and grape juice for communion (another problem.) I hope to open up the conversation from within regarding the biblical qualifications for a shepherd and reform this part, but I have little capital or influence. My question is this, am I sinning by being a part of a denomination that makes this allowance? Should I be trying to reform, or is my presence there as a pastor sinful approval? The congregations would not likely vote to leave the GMC, since they just affiliated with them a year ago, and these congregations until me have never heard the idea of women pastors ever seriously questioned, and I, having only recently come to the conclusion that it is not biblical (again, grew up Methodist) haven’t pushed the issue all that hard.
I admire your courage and wisdom, any advice for a young pastor would be greatly appreciated.

Daniel

I’ve listened to you for a while on podcasts and other interview formats but recently decided to pick up a few of your books. I’m glad I did. I have been reading through Keep Your Kids over the past week or so and it’s left an impression on me. I often grieve over my poor parenting decisions and think “boy, I’ve messed up my kids.” Thankfully I know that isn’t entirely true, and my kids are relatively young, my girl being six and my boy being two. Still though, I get in my own way far too often.
A big topic between my wife and I for almost two years now has been homeschooling. I don’t know much about it, I didn’t grow up around homeschooled kids and only recently in our church have befriended families that do homeschool. I was a public school kid, as was my wife and so far my daughter is also a public school kid—but we don’t really like it. We want to have more influence and oversight and have been slowly moving against the current of our culture (one example being that we no longer have Wi-Fi or internet in our home. We do DVDs, but we are thoughtful in choosing which ones to buy).
Chapter 6, “child discipline in community” from Keep Your Kids got the homeschool wheel turning even more in my head. I know we need to surround our children with faithful Christians and good Christian doctrine but my wife and I both work away from home. Thankfully my wife is a hairstylist who works 4 days a week (she’s probably the best hairstylist in Texas by the way!) so there are days when she is home. My in-laws also live with us, so they’re able to watch our boy when she works and could watch our girl if she wasn’t attending a school (they don’t speak English though so teaching is limited when they’re on the clock). But I have this idea in my head that homeschooling should be more rigorous than 2-3 days a week. How can we take the homeschool leap in our current life stage? Do you have experience with similar families that are able to make homeschooling fruitful while mom and dad go to work during the week?
Any advice about homeschooling and family life would be really helpful to my wife and I.
Thank you for all you do.
Sincerely,

Brandon

About twenty years ago the mainline Academy of Homiletics had its conference in Chicago (an hour from me) and I went out of curiosity. It was as bad as I expected. I had to walk out of their “communion” service when they called God Father and Mother. But before that I sat down on the grass at lunch to chat with Marva, who, after me, was probably the second most conservative person at the conference. I asked her why in her lecture she seemed to be avoiding masculine pronouns for God (she did NOT refer to him as “Mother”). She said it was because she felt that she had a mission to these liberals but would never be invited back to their events if she overdid the male grammar.

Ken

What is missing from conservative Presbyterian and other reformed churches who pride themselves on their morning and evening services, prayer meetings, expository preaching, Bible studies, and pristine theology but who have no impact on their local community? How do people like me who have been burned by pietism and radical two kingdoms theology during COVID don’t twitch while listening to our pastor’s sermons on pursuing personal holiness whose only practical application is more prayer and morning/evening church attendance? I agree with you that worship is warfare, and I believe revival is the only hope for our nation; however, I do understand the temptation of falling in with the New Christian Right when the ordinary means of grace appear to bear no fruit. If you have written or spoken about this, would you please provide a link? Thank you for your time, ministry, and continued correspondence.
Sincerely,

Brent

Thank you for sharing this. Here’s what came to my mind as I reflected on it, and I expect something like this is behind your reflection.
I am a CREC Presbyterian. The son of two convert to CREC Presbyterianism. (I was born a Arminian Baptist and ended up a Calvinistic Paedobaptist Presbyerian, kicking and screaming the whole way). The grandchild of Swedish Baptist General Conference and CMA people, and the great-grandchild of eight Swedish Baptist General Conference people. My great-grandparents include three of whom were saved at tent meetings, two of whom walked the aisle at the First Baptist Church in Minneapolis (later pastored by Billy Graham for a time), and one of whom came to Christ after seeing an angel appear to her over her Milaca, Minnesota farm. (She was not the sensational type to make up a story like that).
“But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children; To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.” Psalm 103:16-18.
Folks, if you’re in the CREC now, and your parents and grandparents and past generations were not, but loved the Lord, don’t look back on your history with scorn, because “you’ve arrived” and “you have it all figured out.” (Odds are, you don’t.) Look back on your history with respect, honor, and gratitude.
Apparently God was applying Psalm 103:16-18 to my family even though they didn’t have the covenantal framework to understand how or why. How much like the Lord to do something like that.
Now my young children, seventh-generation Christians, are baptized as babies and are taking the Lord’s Supper in a covenantal renewal worship service.
Praise God for where I am now.
Praise God for where I came from.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

JP

Foremostly, many thanks for your ministry and that of your associates; it has been of great blessing to a Reformed Baptist of twenty-something. I pray the Lord’s blessing upon you all.
I am writing, sir, with a question regarding the Christian and practicing law. Being in the third year of legal studies, (South Africa requires a four-year L.LB. degree for both lawyers and advocates) the inevitable reality that my studies must bow the head to full-time employment in the near future, is beginning to impress itself upon me most firmly. I would accordingly much value any advice regarding :
1. The practice of law by a Christian in a godless system; and
2. any written resources regarding the issue, in any language whatsoever, particularly if Christians in past godless states have addressed the issue.
By way of brief background, we in South Africa, regardless of culture or creed, do not enjoy a Constitution written by Christian men, based on Christian principles. Though our common law is derived from the Roman-Dutch system—brilliant in every manner—it has all been brought into crumbling jeopardy by the 1996 Constitution, which is written by the godless to advance their own agenda. Though I am disposed and encouraged to D.V. put all efforts into the academic aspect of the law, aspiring to professorship, I am still somewhat befuddled as to how one will be a faithful Reformed Calvinist in a teleological system which is grounded upon the much lauded brilliance and inherent value of man, in et ex se, and the accompanying values. They have reached the point where they are unashamedly proclaiming their own theology. (Reference, exempli gratia, the decision from our Highest Court: Helen Suzman Foundation v President of the Republic of South Africa and Others; Glenister v President of the Republic of South Africa and Others (CCT 07/14, CCT 09/14) [2014] ZACC 32) How then forward?
The grace of our Lord with you in a nation divided.

Aidan

This letter comes to you from a concerned sister and daughter. For context, I am the second-born of a family of four children (now all married adults with children of our own) raised in an (albeit imperfect) Christian home. I write to you as a last ditch effort to address a tragedy in our family.
My brother has estranged his family, his wife and three children, from my parents after a heated conflict in late August.
I’ll spare you the details unless you ask, but long story short: My father has recently stated that he holds a belief that his children believe is heretical. On the day in question, my brother’s stated intention was to clarify a belief my father holds in order to determine some boundaries for the time my parents have alone with his children. During this conversation, my brother, by his own admission, mocked my father in order to make his point. My father felt disrespected and felt he and my mother were dishonored. My brother holds very strongly to the belief that his mockery was righteous and biblically justified, and he uses your book, A Serrated Edge, to support this argument. My father responded with a fit of anger, and because of that, my brother has removed his family from relationship with them.
Mr. Wilson, I have reviewed A Serrated Edge as well as its critique by Mr. John Frame, as well as your response to his critique. I have read many of your blog posts and listened to some sermons.
I don’t believe you would condone the way my brother talked to my father or the fallout that has occurred in what was once, a tight-knit Christian family, unified in Christ if not in denomination.
My other two siblings and I have approached my brother and begged for his repentance and reconciliation with my parents. (It should be noted, we also respectfully met with my parents to address their sin in the conflict. It was fruitful and we can praise God for increasing our intimacy because of it.) My parents have reached out to my brother, but their attempts were rejected, deemed “insincere.”
This letter is intentionally lacking in many, not unimportant details, being mindful that it may not ever be read and I have a husband and five children to prioritize, but if you could lend a wise word to the issue, I believe it would be helpful. I’d be happy to answer any questions that would be helpful in guiding your response.
Thank you for reading.

Kate

What I am having trouble following in your hypothetical is how likely is it that two families would reside in the same town for centuries, share so much in common, and somehow still retain starkly different physiology. I agree that it is possible to foolishly make a small difference (like skin color) too much of an issue by ignoring all the other unifying factors. However, I do think that the generations in the same place part of your scenario would be incredibly unlikely. The reason white and black Americans have not blended into a mono ethnic group with an identifiable skin color over centuries in the same place is precisely because they generally have stark cultural disunity. Do you think the inability to see all of the potential unifying factors causes political policy to gravitate toward ethnic origin and skin color? For instance, perhaps those who passed the Naturalization Act of 1790 were not all evil men who committed the unspeakable sin of racism but instead were making policy based on what they could see and not what they couldn’t see and they they thought it was the best for our nation at the time.

Joshua

I am working my way through your book “To a Thousand Generations” to help me work through the question of baptism for my children. I just finished your chapter on circumcision where you made the point that Christian Jews were correctly practicing circumcision in the first century but it was fading away. Would you say that the practice among Jewish Christians ought to have ceased after 70 AD even though the practice predates the temple and the law? If it continues, how Jewish does one need to be to still require it? I have always been under the impression that circumcision is to be done away with considering Galatians 5:12.

Stephen

I am leaving this here because YT is regularly deleting my comments. Imagine that.
I have no idea the context of this. If it’s a Xitter thing, I’ve been locked out of there for 3 1/2 years now.
I’ve heard this is a debate among professing Christians now. I haven’t seen it in real life. Thankfully. It’s appalling. Doesn’t anyone read their Bibles?! It’s all right there, as clearly as you stated.
“God made Miriam even whiter than she had been before, but this was not considered an improvement”
I laughed way too hard at that. I actually had to “rewind” the video because I wasn’t sure if I’d heard it right the first time.
I have to admit, I was a bit nervous when I saw this title. Despite the many videos/articles I’ve watched/read, I don’t think I’d heard it directly addressed. At least, not as directly as this.
And, after all, the internet told me you’re a big ol’ meanie and r-word. That’ll learn me to listen to the internet!

Maureen

Just gotta say, completely agree with the article, but having been called by a certain name for three quarters of a century . . . I still can’t help but cringe-chuckle when I read the word “bigot,” even though it’s the, uh, first correct usage in 75 years. Perhaps you’ll find a way to make definitions great again! But no, there’s just got to be an unused word for racism that hasn’t been DEI’d to DEath.
It is a bummer though, when we have younger guns that are appreciably in possession of real backbone and a willing to take the blowtorch of the entire global Commune for saying unpopular things, only for these same guys to jump the shark with sloppy thinking that serve no purpose other than to make us look bad. It was this issue that left something to be desired for me with the teaching of Joel Webbon, personally. I have a hard time understanding why we can’t all just be honest that some of us hope to be a part of keeping pale skin variants in the species alive, so we would like to marry that way or encourage our children to. Being the image bearers of God, we shouldn’t be AGAINST some physical features that aren’t our favorite, but it seems innocent to be PRO “casting your genetic vote” for beauty you find pleasing and wish not to vanish from the globe. So long as we joyfully submit to God with an openness to retrain our sensibilities as He providentially sees fit.
So well done and thanks for the fish. But, eh, how bout we put our heads together scouring ancient thesauruses and gently guide to a well-earned retirement the old favorite “bigot”? If we meet at a conference and I hear you call someone that, I want you to know in advance I’m not laughing because I think you’re wrong.

Patrick

Thank you for your response. Funny imagery about the kick on the shins, but that’s not how I intended it. Hopefully your bruises have recovered by now.
In your response you encouraged me to think through some scenarios more thoroughly, which I appreciate, but after doing so I wanted to push back a bit.
You mentioned that to be remarried, even if done Biblically unlawfully, would be to remove the possibility of marital reconciliation for the first spouse. You said that to dissolve that new marriage would be a genuine divorce because Scripture does treat a certain class of marriages as true marriages even though they were unlawfully begun. However, I would challenge this a bit and not let it end there.
The closest example I can think of would be a polygamous relationship—let’s say a man converts to Christianity and asks you for advice on what to do about his 3 wives. You would likely advise him to keep all his wives, but to inform him that he must repent of his sins in marrying them and that you will not be conducting any more marriages inside your church for him. Ok, I get why you would advise him not to essentially ruin the lives of his extra wives, because they were entered into thinking it a legitimate practice. But you wouldn’t allow him to take a fourth because it is in fact not a legitimate union of holy matrimony to enter into, as marriage was created for one man and one woman and you would be sinning to conduct such a ceremony.
Let’s pair this with our modern culture views on abortion—as Christian’s, we know that abortion is the shedding of innocent blood. It is an act of murder and all faithful Christian’s should be in favor of legislation that would treat the obtaining of an abortion as murder, as justice for the unborn. However, that doesn’t mean that the second that the abolition policies pass that we should round up anyone who has ever had an abortion in the past. They obtained it legally and under false pretenses and it would not be ethical to judge them as knowing criminals. But if that glorious day ever comes where all abortion is made illegal and people are educated on the proper facts of abortion, then it would be right to treat women as murderers if they get an abortion after the fact.
There are lots of sticky hypothetical situations that one could argue would justify them in finding a new spouse, but I want to see the Scriptural receipts. I don’t see any case of divorce and remarriage in Scripture (with the exception of Herodias divorcing Philip to marry Herod Antipas, which we all know was slammed by Scripture, and the woman at the well, which is hardly a case in favor of the practice). Rather, I see texts like Mathew 5:31-31 and Mark 10:2-12 and Luke 16:18 as very clear evidence that even if a legal divorce is obtained, God does not recognize it as a right to marry another while the first spouse lives. The only explicit mention of lawful remarriage found in Scripture (that I know of) is found in 1 Corinthians 7:39 — “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
If I were placed on a jury, and a man’s life was at stake, and the lawyer was using hypothetical arguments, presumption, and emotion as its driving force behind substantiating itself, I would not in good conscience rule in favor of this lawyer’s arguments. Especially with such strong arguments to the contrary. As such, I would imagine pastors (who have to give an account for souls one day) would be as conscientious about ruling in favor of potentially allowing adultery.
Getting to my point—could remarriages of divorced individuals be the modern day equivalent of polygamy? These marriages shouldn’t be broken up now because they were entered into thinking it was a legitimate practice, sometimes with the blessing and encouragement of a pastor. However, if they truly are adulterous unions, then they should be repented of. Also, the pastors would have to repent and turn aside from this practice going forward.
**Side-note; the alternative to this concept would be to view it in the same way you would a homosexual “marriage”, that even though vows were made, it would not be a marriage to begin with so it holds no binding marriage definition and can and should be dissolved. I find this scenario a bit more destructive of an outcome for the potential children born into remarriages, so it falls into a second place category in my mind.
Anyhow . . . I freely admitted previously that this view is fanatical and that I’m very much willing to deter from this view if proven otherwise. Hence why I originally was searching for your defense, and have read the defense of other’s perspectives. I look forward to your in-depth thoughts on the matter.
Thank you for your time!

Hannah