The Fact of a Secret Courtship

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In the controversy over the mistreatment of Natalie Greenfield by Jamin Wight, one of the central points of the dispute is Natalie’s contention that there was no secret courtship. She has said, for example:

“I would like to also point at that neither was Doug in the room when my father said, No. I am not comfortable with this. There will be no courtship. There will be no hand-holding. Do not touch my daughter and do not foster a relationship with her.

But in a letter of confession to the Greenfield parents (8/15/05), Jamin confirmed the reality of a courtship approved by them. In that letter Jamin says: “While we were courting and living in your house together, your rules and requests for Natalie and me were very clear.” Later he says, “After that point, we quit confessing to you whenever we broke the rules of the courtship.” And later, “I don’t remember what month it first began but it did begin after our courtship was official, and around the time when she and I were permitted to hold hands and hug with special permission.”

During the course of their relationship, Jamin had written this to Natalie: “I pray that God will continue to bless your parents with wisdom as they watch us grow in love, maturity, & godliness towards one another.”

In short, from whatever cause, Natalie’s representation that there was no secret courtship with Jamin is false, and what I have been maintaining is true. She may have forgotten, or suppressed it through reinterpretation, or she may be deliberately lying. But whatever the reason, her account is not reliable.


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