Haven Of Rest Clinic ®
666 Appius Way,
Rome, Roman Empire
Dear Paul,
We are writing to inform you the results of your first interview here with us at Haven Of Rest Clinic®. We do understand that you were not here with us voluntarily, but nevertheless, we believe the Proconsul Petronius made the right decision in sending you to us. We do believe that we can be of some help to you—we really care.
Frankly, the results of the interview are a matter of grave concern.
The obvious problem is your manifest lack of self-esteem. It appeared throughout your conversation. What else can account for you referring to your self as the chief of sinners, and the least of all the saints? Your self-worth is extremely low—indeed, you appear to have gotten the idea somewhere that you have, in yourself, absolutely no worth at all. Your comment about how in your flesh dwells no good thing was exceptionally revealing.
This low view you have yourself has spilled over and affected your view of others—vessels of wrath, dead in sin, and so forth. I should not have to remind you that you were on more than one occasion positively misanthropic. Paul, you are a religious man. But your religion has become destructive to you, and not at all positive or upbeat. We would like you to think about something we say often here at the Clinic®—God don’t make no junk.
This is connected to the second major problem that our trained professional staff members were able to identify. Because of your low self-esteem, and your consequently low view other human beings, you’ve been brought to the point of open hostility towards those who differ with you on minor points of theology. This hostility creates enemies for you—your conflicts with Hymenaeus, Philetus, and Alexander are cases in point. It even has resulted in unfortunate falling out with your friends—we have in mind that totally unnecessary argument with Peter at Antioch. And why did it happen,? You took a question of seating arrangements at dinner, and turned it into a question of ultimate theological importance! Paul, we are here to help you. I hope you’ll give us a chance.
The third problem we identified may require a brief explanation. In our many years of helping people here at the Clinic®, we have seen a certain pattern of behavior over and over again. It is a destructive behavior, and it is very difficult to see it first. The word we used to describe this pattern is codependency. Probably the best way to describe it is to say that someone who’s codependent is one who is addicted to another person. Frequently the other person has their own addiction to something else, and the codependent is addicted to the other person—problems and all.
Frankly, you exhibit the classic manifestations of codependency. Remember when you came to Troas and you had no rest? And why? Merely because Titus was not there. Do you not recall when you wrote to Timothy and told him to do his utmost to come and be by your side?
Why do you need to be surrounded by such men? Why do you feel it so intensely—as a personal betrayal—when one of your friends sees this entangling codependency of yours, and strikes out on his own? The information that Demas gave us in this regard was quite helpful. He informed us also that many of your acquaintances in the province of Asia finally had to take the same sort of action. And again, instead of seeing this is a caring response to your codependent addiction to all who work with you, you insisted on interpreting it as a theological issue.
You are able to do this because of another compulsive behavior. Paul, you are a very intelligent man. And because you study so much (far too much), you were capable of persuading some around you that these doctrines of yours are more important than personal relationships. But even Festus, who is by no means a trained professional, saw through this when he said that your great learning was driving you mad.
But how many people must you quarrel with, how many people must leave you, before you see that you are caught in the destructive cycle of clinging to your coworkers, and then when your hostility provoke a quarrel, justifying it all in the name of your obscure doctrinal and systematic hair-splitting?
Complicating all of this is the last problem we must mention—and the first problem we must solve. Many clients that we see here have to work through this, so please do not feel alone. Initially, it is a time of great pain and struggle, but let us assure you that it is worth it all.
We cannot help a client until the client recognizes that he needs the help. But many people in your position refuse to recognize how much they need that help. In other words, they deny that they need anything from us. Some, like you, are quite opposed to the idea. So we’ve come to call this problem denial. The reason it must be addressed first is obvious. Until a patient admits that he has the disease, we cannot administer the medicine.
This denial was apparent in your interview from first to last. Sometimes it was quite explicit—for example, your comment that you wanted to forget what lies behind, and press on. You did not want to talk about your family—you wouldn’t even tell us if you had ever been married. At the same time, you spoke in a way that showed your background means a great deal to you. We read between the lines and saw a good deal of family pride—you are from Benjamin indeed. But then what did you do? You said you counted all that as rubbish—as dung.
If this is not denial, then we have never seen denial. You care deeply about your lineage, but profess that you do not care about it at all. It is so very clear to us that you were abused as a child, and that your love tank is empty. You attempt to fill this void with frantic study and preaching, a series of strained codependent relationships with your coworkers, hostility toward your fellow man, and fights with your enemies. Paul, please let us help.
Dr. Slewfoot
Haven of Rest Clinic®/Visa and Mastercard accepted
Credenda Vol. 4, No. 7