Athanasius Punks the Internet

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Athanasius, father of orthodoxy, had his enemies. One time, some of them held an Internet trial and accused him of messing around with the occult, and on top of that they said he had murdered a rival bishop named Arsenius. He had chopped off his rival’s hand for use in his magic arts. Athanasius was summoned to appear before Constantine for this, which he did. His enemies were there, waiting with their proof, which was the severed hand. Athanasius, for his part, had brought a hooded companion.Athanasius

When they offered their proof, Athanasius asked if they knew Arsenius well. Yes, quite well was the eager response. Whereupon Athanasius brought forward his mystery companion, and pulled off the hood to reveal his murder victim, alive and well apparently.
Some of his enemies were still convinced by the hand argument though, and so Athanasius then proceeded to display the right arm of Arsenius. “No!” the crowd roared. “It was the other hand!”

So Athanasius showed them the other arm, and asked if Arsenius was such a monster as to have three hands. That got a laugh and everybody calmed down.

See Terry Lindvall, God Mocks, p. 37

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Rob Steele
Rob Steele
6 years ago

One wonders how many of his accusers were glad to be proved wrong.

Chris
Chris
6 years ago

Is the book a good read?

Chris
Chris
6 years ago
Reply to  Douglas Wilson

Good, I’ll update my Amazon wishlist for Christmas then. :)

Rob Steele
Rob Steele
6 years ago

Regarding God mocking, my favorite after Elijah and the prophets of Baal is Isaiah 26:18, which is easy to miss:

“We have been with child, we have been in pain, we have as it were brought forth wind; we have not wrought any deliverance in the earth; neither have the inhabitants of the world fallen.”

Paraphrasing: We thought we were pregnant but it was only gas. All our big plans turned out to be a fart.

timothy
timothy
6 years ago
Reply to  Rob Steele

What did they name the fart?

sorry (:

jillybean
jillybean
6 years ago
Reply to  timothy

Fluffy?

timothy
timothy
6 years ago
Reply to  jillybean

I wonder if the last name was ‘Petard’

Rob Steele
Rob Steele
6 years ago
Reply to  timothy

Progress.

DC Moody
DC Moody
6 years ago

Years back there was a St. Anne’s Public House cd with this story in it. If I remember correctly, some of the judges had also paid a prostitute to claim that Athanasius has stolen her virginity recently. When she accused Athanasius, Athanasius’s assistant Timotheus stood up and said something to the extent of, “Have I ever met you?” At which the prostitute starting yelling at Timotheus, calling him Athanasius, and accusing Timotheus, “Yes, it was you!” Her story was obviously a lie at that point. After that, the story you posted happened. The kicker was that, even when Athanasius had… Read more »

St. Lee
6 years ago

Couldn’t have been an internet trial, else a sizable portion of Athanasius’ enemies would have still been shouting “you need to step down as pastor of Christ Church,” despite any proofs offered. Until Athanasius uncovered Arsenius they would have pointed to that as proof he was guilty, and after the uncovering him they’d have called it a shameful display of revenge and proof of very poor judgment.
Oops. Did I say Christ Church?

Nord357
Nord357
6 years ago
Reply to  St. Lee

And now I have coffee in my nose! Good morning. :)

"A" dad
"A" dad
6 years ago

“That got a laugh and everybody calmed down.”

……and Athanasius won, hands down! ; – )

"A" dad
"A" dad
6 years ago

Oh, and this..

Well Wilson, that story came in right handy didn’t it?
Those false accusers were very underhanded,
but they were handily exposed,

when they got their Arsenius handed to them!

Boy did those false accusers go home empty handed!
Who’s Hands is Justice in anyway?
Just goes to show that idle hands are the devil’s work slop.

If only I had said this on video in the nude…….

Hey wait! Anybody want to buy some “art”?
Bidding starts at 6 figures! ; – )