Book of the Month: July 2016

Sharing Options

I have confessed on previous occasions that I like to read dictionaries, chipping away at them a page or two at a go. I also like to do the same thing with collections of anecdotes, and as it turns out that I have just finished one. The plotting is terrible, and it is hard to keep track of all the characters, but the payoff is more immediate than it is with the regular dictionaries. So all I intend to do here is share a few of the anecdotes . . .Anecdotes

On a train journey to Bath, Halifax shared a compartment with two rather prim-looking middle-aged ladies. All three were strangers to one another, and the journey passed in silence until the train went through a tunnel. In the total darkness of the compartment, Halifax placed a number of noisy kisses on the back of his hand. As the train emerged from the tunnel, the former ambassador turned to his companions and asked, “To which of you charming ladies am I indebted for the delightful incident in the tunnel?”

Shortly after the 1912 presidential election, [Woodrow] Wilson visited an aged aunt whom he had not seen for some time. “What are you doing these days, Woodrow?” she asked. “I’ve just been elected President,” replied Wilson. “Oh, yes? President of what?” inquired the aunt. “Of the United States.” The old lady snorted impatiently. “Don’t be silly!” she said.

A charming American woman was seated next to [T.S.] Eliot at a dinner. The company drank good wine, the conversation was excellent, and after a while Eliot asked his companion to call him “Tom.” “Oh, I couldn’t,” she said. “You were required reading.”

Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike competition in Monte Carlo. He came in third.

During a visit to America, Churchill was invited to a buffet luncheon at which cold fried chicken was served. Returning for a second helping, he asked politely, “May I have some breast?” “Mr. Churchill,” replied his hostess, “in this country we ask for white meat or dark meat.” Churchill apologized profusely. The following morning, the lady received a magnificent orchid from her guest of honor. The accompanying card read: “I would be most obliged if you would pin this on your white meat.”

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
7 Comments
Oldest
Newest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
John
John
5 years ago

That last one had me laughing out loud!

40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
40 ACRES & A KARDASHIAN
5 years ago

Uh-oh! Has Rachel Miller accused you of plagiarism yet?

jillybean
jillybean
5 years ago

Wonderful anecdotes. I remember a twelfth grade boy telling me in literature class, “Spell T. Eliot backwards, and that’s where I think his poetry should end up.”

Ian Miller
5 years ago
Reply to  jillybean

:) But Eliot is actually really excellent. :)

jillybean
jillybean
5 years ago
Reply to  Ian Miller

I completely agree, especially the earlier work.

Ian Miller
5 years ago
Reply to  jillybean

My favorite is Four Quartets – I’m not sure how early that is counted, though.

Duells Quimby
Duells Quimby
5 years ago

That sounds very amusing. I heard a brain twister using the first one from my dad.