Lust and Limits

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I have said before that lust — not the hearty, Anglo Saxon kind — is inherently idolatrous. Lust is that which seeks to get from a finite thing what only the infinite can provide. That being the case, the natural enemy of lust would be finite limits.

The limits may vary, but limits are always the enemy. The limit may be found in the number of partners, the sex of the partner, the persona of the partner, the willingness of the partner, or the mere fact of a partner, but when the natural world, or God’s Word, says “thus far, and no farther,” lust will always respond in some kind of revolt. That is what lust does because that is what lust is.

“Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied” (Prov. 27:20).

This is the very nature of the beast.

Now when Christians have failed to learn the lesson that Paul enjoins with regard to sexual pleasure in marriage, the end result is that we find ourselves in an oxymoronic position. Paul says that we are supposed to learn how to possess our vessel in sanctification and honor, and not in passionate lust like the heathen (1 Thess. 4:5). But if we have accepted the logic of “no limits” within the confines of the marriage bed, which is obviously a limit, then it is just a matter of time before the thing is going to come apart under the strain.

At the very least, it is going to leave us in a place where we have difficulty answering the jibes of homosexual marriage advocates, who want to know what the key difference between their kind of fellatio and ours might be. They want to say that we have drawn the lines in arbitrary places, and if we have bought into a smaller version of the same reigning logic of “personal passion that justifies itself,” the argument appears to us to be valid. It isn’t, but it appears that way because we have surreptitiously adopted one of their premises.

So the real issue is our need to learn a glad acceptance of natural limits. As we consider what sins we should be confessing in the evangelical world, the sins that brought us to our culture’s current impasse in the public understanding of sexuality, one place to start might be the whee! approach to sexuality that was mainstreamed in the evangelical world three or four decades ago. Please note that I am not talking about sane and responsible teaching about sex, or instruction that embraces sexual pleasure as a gift from God, or anything like that. There have been healthy and responsible teachers, but there have also been more than a few who have acted like junior high boys put in charge of a sex ed class. So I am talking about attitude and demeanor, revealed by their attitude towards limits. I am thinking of the smirk that hides behind such responsible teaching, and which pushes (no surprise) the limits.

But limits are glorious. They are . . . they are . . . oh, let Chesterton say it.

“I could never mix in the common murmur of that rising generation against monogamy, because no restriction on sex seemed so odd and unexpected as sex itself. To be allowed, like Endymion, to make love to the moon and then to complain that Jupiter kept his own moons in a harem seemed to me (bred on fairy tales like Endymion’s) a vulgar anti-climax. Keeping to one woman is a small price for so much as seeing one woman. To complain that I could only be married once was like complaining that I had only been born once. It was incommensurate with the terrible excitement of which one was talking. It showed, not an exaggerated sensibility to sex, but a curious insensibility to it. A man is a fool who complains that he cannot enter Eden by five gates at once.”

So a man who wants the pleasures that a harem of 23rd century sexbots could give him is a man who aspires to the high office of dolt. He wants what cannot be, and when he has finally toppled the last limit in front of him, he discovers that it was a protective rail that was keeping him from pitching headlong into the outer darkness — a place with no edge, no shore, no boundary, no end . . . no limits.

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Jacob Moya
10 years ago

A Brave New World only hints at the sexual violence allowed to prosper in a limitless culture. Any suggestions of some more, shall we say, realistic, sci-fi literature?

James Bradshaw
James Bradshaw
10 years ago

Clever Betty Bowers once wrote: “A Baptist Woman NEVER does anything in Sex that: Will turn her wig more than 15 degrees in either direction. She minds her dear, departed parents in Heaven grabbing popcorn and watching. Requires her to shave above the knee. Would suggest to her husband that she is actually enjoying herself unless, as is often the case, this will only serve to cause him to lose interest and stop. Would leave toe-prints on the headboard or cause her to lose her place in Psalms. Obliterates the crisp crease in her 400-plus thread count “Shroud of Turin”… Read more »

Moor
Moor
10 years ago

Truly James, that part about the animal noises is sound advice.

J
J
10 years ago

One more thought. “No limits” I suppose you’re right. That is what Hell ends up being. People who desire no limit to their sin get their wish. Sobering

Chris Schuttger
Chris Schuttger
10 years ago

Regarding your comments on how to respond to homosexuals asking about what issue do Christians have with our sex compared to theirs … A pastor friend of mine recently wrote in his blog: http://mindrenewers.com/2013/07/08/romans-1-and-christian-errors-on-homosexuality-part-one/ That the root issue here is not the sin of homosexuality. We need to back up in Romans 1 to the root sin when engaging homosexuals and challenge them on what their beliefs or disbeliefs are in WHO God is and WHAT God says about sin. My brother writes: “This passage mentions homosexuality, but it is not about homosexuality. It is about all who are unrighteous… Read more »

Nick e
Nick e
10 years ago

What limits would you put on sexual relations between a man and wife? Any disagreements with Mark Driscoll (assuming you read his book on the topic)? I guess I’m curious about what boundaries you think are currently being overlooked by Christian couples (Obviously excluding things that you dont need a masters of divinity to know are clearly sinful i.e. pornography, and the inclusion of 3rd parties etc.)

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Jacob, the movie Brave New World shows the ugliness of abortion. As far as literature goes, one of the best sexual scenes I have ever read was in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Harry is with his first girlfriend and they go to makeout point and Harry isn’t mentally ready to go there. It is a great scene for kids, that if it’s okay for Harry not to be ready, then it’s okay for them not to be ready.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Jacob, there is a very good relationship in the Lost Regiment Series by Wm. Forstchen. of the protagonist and his wife. There is also a good scene of resisting sexual temptation by one of the supporting characters. The Lost Regiment Series begins in early 1865 with a Union naval warship carrying troops, which finds itself transported to a far distant world. People have been transported to this world for millenia. there are Ancient Romans, Carthaginians, Medieval Russions and Japanese and an evil non human enemy who has enslaved all humanity on that world. It is military SF, written by a… Read more »

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Doug, would you say that the No Limits criterion would be equally applicable to greed? I mean, if the greedy and the immoral are both equally going to hell, why exclusively focus almost exclusively on sexual sins?

ArwenB
ArwenB
10 years ago

Robert said:
“if the greedy and the immoral are both equally going to hell, why exclusively focus almost exclusively on sexual sins? ”

If I had to guess, I’d say that greed is less immediately destructive than sexual sins. In addition, if you read the archives, I think you’ll find that there is not “almost exclusive” focus on sexual sins.

Ryan
Ryan
10 years ago

Robert,

You’ll often find that Pastor Wilson is interacting with whatever sins are currently in fashion. Homosexuality is particularly fashionable today.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

We didn’t get to the homosexuality overnight. We lament the rise of the Progressives, but they didn’t get their foot inot the door until the greed of the owners of the Triangle wshirwaist Fire. The greed of employers hiring illegal aliens to avoid paing taxes has had a huge impact on our culture’s racian antagonism. The consequences of greed of others is affecting your life everyday.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

We didn’t get to the homosexuality overnight. We lament the rise of the Progressives, but they didn’t get their foot into the door until the greed of the owners of the Triangle shirtwaist Fire. The greed of employers hiring illegal aliens to avoid paying taxes has had a huge impact on our culture’s racian antagonism. The consequences of greed of others is affecting your life everyday.

Robby B
Robby B
10 years ago

Disturbing news from Canada. Turns out all the conspiracy theorists about the sexual-social engineering end-game were right. Paedophiles are all for the promotional of homosexuality in schools. In fact, they are organizing it.

http://ezralevant.com/2013/07/sexed-expert-charged-with-sex.html