The Minister and the Parrot

One time a minister bought a parrot, and it wasn’t until that he had brought the parrot home that he discovered a key difficulty with his purchase. The parrot was almost a non-stop cusser. His previous owner had apparently taught the parrot every bad word found in the English language, and it was to these words that the parrot inevitably gravitated. The minister was entirely nonplussed. Nothing he tried worked.

One day, the parrot was expressing himself freely, and the man of God was just staring at him. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and the minster sprang up startled. The parrot, he knew from past experience, could not be shut up, and the party at the door was his appointment with the Ladies Aid Committee, one he just now remembered. The minister grabbed the parrot and darted around the room aimlessly, needing to figure out what to do in a matter in seconds — then inspiration struck. He dashed into the kitchen,  which was right off the living room, opened the top freezer, and threw the parrot in.

He then went to the door, escorted the ladies in, and they had a most profitable meeting, lasting, in all, about half an hour.

When the meeting was over, and the ladies had left, the minister went to the freezer to let the parrot out. To his astonishment, the parrot hopped humbly onto his finger, and was entirely silent. He was a wiser, better parrot. He was completely quiet . . . for about three days, he didn’t say anything. The minister was mystified.

After three days, the parrot finally spoke. “So . . . what did the chicken do?”


Theology That Bites Back



Opt-in here and you'll receive a weekly digest of the thoughts and musings from yours truly that wend their way into blog posts. In addition, from time to time, you should also receive notices of new book releases, upcoming events, and continent-sized cyclones on Jupiter.

Congratulations. You did it.

  • rcjr

    No doubt at that point he was rather plussed.

  • Rob Steele

    Good one. More.

  • Brendan Hanley

    Hah! Good one.

    How about this? A Czech peasant stumbles upon a small wooden box in the woods. Upon opening he finds, to his astonishment, a Faerie inside. As a reward for freeing her, the Faerie gives the peasant three wishes. The peasant wishes to be rich, to have a beautiful wife and be world famous. He wakes up the next morning in a ritzy hotel. The woman beside him rolls over and grumbles “Wake up Franz Ferdinand we have to be in Sarajevo in half an hour.”

  • Sandra Koke

    OK..I must be very out of it – can someone explain the joke to me?? :)

  • Nathan Tuggy

    @Sandra Koke: Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated in Sarajevo in 1913, triggering the First World War.

  • Sandra Koke

    Thank you Nathan – that one I did get – I meant the blog joke. I assume the 3 days has something to do with Christ’s descent into hell but I don’t get the chicken part…

  • Valerie (Kyriosity)

    Sandra — While the parrot was in the freezer, he looked around and saw his distant cousin the chicken…beheaded, plucked, gutted, and frozen. A sobering deterrent, indeed. ;^)

  • Sandra Koke

    Ah. :) Thank you!!

  • Darrell Young

    Sandra was funnier than Doug on this one…

  • Allison Enos

    :) thank you! that made my day!!