Getting along with people you differ with can be difficult on two levels. The first level is the basic one of “ego surrender,” recognizing that the other person might have a point, or worse, might be entirely correct. This is addressed rightly when you embrace the humility of confessing your sin, your fault, your mistake. But the second difficulty is when you know for a fact that you have point, or that you are entirely correct. In this second scenario, how are we to apply the words of Paul to the Philippians?
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Phil. 2:3–4).
The first step is to accept a priori that this second situation is—for everyone in the world—rarer in your actual experience than your natural inclination wants it to be.
The second step is to distinguish the merits of the case from the personal merits of the person presenting the case—whether you or the other guy. In other words, you might be entirely right about the invoice, but your heart is soaked in strife and vainglory, and he is a klutz when it comes to reading invoices, but be pursuing the matter with you in true lowliness of mind, esteeming you better than himself. He is being wrong in the right way and you are right in the wrong way. God runs the world this way in order to keep us all on our toes.
And the third step is to surrender the process to the Spirit, and to leave the consequences to the Father. The Father is the Father of all providence, and He is the one who blesses the work of your hands or not. The Spirit is the one who gives the humility of mind in the moment. And who is Christ in this scenario? Christ is in your brother.