We are all coming to this Table for grace. We come together, but we also come individually. The meaning of communing together is seen when all of us do something individually. We give you bread, and you eat it. We give you a cup and you drink it. At the same time, all over the congregation, your brothers and sisters are doing the same thing.
Tending to the state of your own soul is not selfish; it is required. Tending to the state of your own soul first is not selfish; it is required. In the airline safety instructions, they tell you that when the oxygen masks drop out of the overhead, you are to put your own on first before helping others. The reason is obvious, is it not? If you do not do this, you will very rapidly be no help to others at all.
Jesus explicitly teaches us to do this. Getting the beam out of your own eye before trying to help others is not selfish (Matt. 7:3-5). The apostle Paul says the same. Correcting someone who is overtaken in a fault must not be done unless you have dealt with your own issues first (Gal. 6:1).
Of course, there is always a ditch on the other side of the road. Someone who spends forty years getting the beam out of his own eye (unsuccessfully), and who uses that as an excuse for staying holed up in his very own pietistic cocoon, never helping anyone else, is obviously missing the point.
But even with this granted, it is a glib mistake to think that we must always think of others first. When it comes to dealing with sin (which is the great adversary for us here on this sorry planet), we are commanded always to think of ourselves first. You can see how “always putting others first” could become an easy cloak for hypocrisy. The serpent was more subtle than all the beasts of the field.
So come, and welcome, to Jesus Christ.