In This Case, Not a Compliment

“This principle is why people do things that they are willing to brazen out. People brazen it out because brazening it out works. And this is why I intend to bring up the stacked nature of the PCA committee every chance I get, for as long as I can remember to do so. Not only will I do this, but I intend to memorialize it with as many metaphors as I can manage to come up with. That committee was as stacked as a double order of buttermilks, as stacked as some blonde in a tight dress, and as stacked as a brick house. The PCA, she’s mighty, mighty.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 428

The Wrecking Ball of Disobedience

“‘Was eternal life for Adam conditioned upon perfect and personal obedience?’

I wouldn’t put it that way. I would rather say that avoidance of eternal death was conditioned upon not disobeying. The gift that Adam was receiving could be forfeited by disobedience but did not need to earned by continued obedience . Disobedience would wreck it, and did, but obedience wouldn’t earn it.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 427

Not That Far to Go

“Those who go by the nickname TR are actually curators of the Reformed mausoleum, and not scholars in the Reformed tradition. The way we can tell this is that—in defense of keeping the marble floors of their mausoleum polished and shiny—they deploy Eck’s argument against Luther. Their blood stirs when they hear the story about Athanasius saying that he was contra museum because they really like that kind of thing when it is behind glass in the museum of church history. But when someone actually stands up against the living and breathing ecclesiastical Mitred Ones, they haul this argument out as shamelessly as a theologian who thinks he is supposed to have an infallible magisterium. And they do this against people who they say are trying to ‘lead them down the road to Rome.’ But how can you lead people to Rome when they are already there.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 423

Not on the Mantle

“Now that a person is converted, can we make distinctions in the text? Certainly we can distinguish imperatives from indicatives, laws from promises, and so on. But now that I saved, everything is contextualized within that grace. That grace surrounds everything, making it lovely. It is in that grace that we now stand. I can tell grammatically when God issues a requirement for His people. This is the vase of demand, on the mantelpiece of law, situated in the middle of the house of grace. And I live in the house, not on the mantle.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 414

Blunt Force Systematics

“Systematic theology is nothing more or less than remembering what the Bible says everywhere else when you come to study what it is saying here . . . No one systematic theology covers everything, and many of them get key features positively wrong—like a guy putting a jigsaw puzzle of a sailboat together, when he is working from the wrong box top, a picture of a lighthouse. By the end, he will be putting the pieces in with a mallet.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 412

The Divide Is Elsewhere

“So I affirm the three uses of the law, but I deny that the law should be used as a hermeneutical principle, whether conjoined with the gospel or not. What the text is saying can be determined apart from a law/gospel hermeneutic. What the text means for me cannot be determined apart from law/gospel considerations.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 412

Best Kept in the History Books

“The curators of the Reformation Museum want everyone to stay behind the velvet ropes, to leave the old books on their shelves, and coo over the wax reproduction of John Knox confronting Mary Queen of Scots. Then everyone is given a brochure reminding everyone to not try this at home.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 409