“If it was narcissism and self-indulgence you were after, he could write like a bat out of the bad place.”
Hypochondria Deluxe
“Robert P. Warner II had been the kind of boy in high school who managed his injuries as a mother hen hovers over her chicks. He was a master of communicating physical distress to others, but the nature of the injury and the nature of the distress he would subsequently manifest were not really in accord with the laws of logic first outlined in such a cogent way by Aristotle. One time, when he had been beaned in the forehead by a volleyball in Mr. Walker’s phys ed class, the injury, such as it was, resulted in a mild ringing in the ears. But this had translated, by the end of the period, into a clear limp; by the end of the day, into a striking limp; and by the next Monday morning, into a pair of crutches and a leg brace on the outside of his jeans.”
Ain’t What She Used to Be
“The sofa was of the old gray mare swayback school of design, and from somewhere within the cushions, de profundis, cam a groan from Robert P.”
A Different Angle
“Even creeps have hopes, dreams, aspirations. Even creeps have a story and perhaps a brief moment in their toddler years when they were cute.”
The Overshare Challenge
“Shannon thought her mother was shouting the word impotence and looked up at her second use of it to see that Chad the waiter was right there, right on time, to take their order. He stood there, looking as solemn as a judge, for which the girls were thoroughly grateful. He attended a small charismatic church in the area, and for him, dealing with overshare was a way of life, an art form.”
So to Speak
“Michelle’s grandmother, a grand dame of the old school in Mississippi, would have said that Michelle was about to go stepping in high cotton.”
And Probably Ponderosa Bark
“They were within walking distance of a number of upscale eateries and had no trouble picking out a little bistro with espresso and ferns, the kind of place that served exotic little art sandwiches with bark still in the bread”
And There Are Quite a Few of Those
“She wasn’t really going to church anywhere, but she remained a contemporary evangelical to the back teeth. She had lost her faith while still managing to hang on to all the platitudes.”
But Other Than That . . .
“Johnny’s eyes were round, like a couple of trash can lids, only a different color.”
Very Loosely Tied
“He could also tell that Johnny was not really a highly trained logician, and would simply go as he was directed, as long as the suggested direction did not conflict with the tangled bundle of platitudes, loosely tied with string, that made up his worldview.”