Honest Subscription

“Strict subscription does not uphold the Westminster Confession. It is a flagrant denial of it. Synods and councils have erred, and do err, including this one, chump. Loose subscription is no help either. What good is a fence around the vegetable garden of truth that makes sure they are holes every ten feet big enough for the average erroneous rabbit? But there is an alternative to strict subscription, which necessarily elevates the Confession to the level of Scripture, and loose subscription, which lowers the Confession to the level of the 9th and 10th amendments to the U.S Constitution. This alternative is called honest subscription.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, p. 211

The Original Arabic

“They can also differ in the adverb—how do you conserve things? One kind of conservative tries to do this woodenly. He doesn’t want anything to change, period, and so he insists that every candidate at presbytery take a vow to uphold the original Westminster in exactly the form it came down from Allah in the original Arabic. But the mushy liberals are no better. They want candidates to appear at presbytery like they were guests on Oprah. ‘Tell us what the Westminster Confession has meant to you in times of trouble.’”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, pp. 210–211

The Best Presbyterian Ever

“Presbyterians like to point out (and I actually agree with them on this, being a presbyterian), that the first century Jewish system of polity and governance was a representative and presbyterian one. That makes Jesus a presbyterian. But after the warm glow has worn off, we then realize that this means that the Lord was condemned by the General Assembly—moved, seconded, and spanged right into the minutes.”

The Auburn Avenue Chronicles, pp. 199-200