Content Cluster Muster [07-07-22]

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As They Should Have Been Doing All Along

All in Girard, Man

A Song I Really Like for Some Reason

Yes, Quite

Made Me Laugh

How Does It Feel to Want?

Jokes I Like to Tell

Because there had been a few incidents with bears, the National Park Service decided to post warning signs at the start of all the hiking trails in Glacier National Park, as well as a few other national parks. The posted notice advised hikers to be on constant alert for bears, and to take extra precautions in order to avoid an unhappy encounter.

The notice advised hikers that little bells with clips were available for sale in all the park’s gift shops, and that it would be a good idea to buy a few of those and clip them on their clothing before hiking. Bears will generally only attack if they are startled, and the noise of the bells coming from a distance would prevent them from being startled. The notice also contained the advice to buy some pepper spray, also available at the gift shops, and if a bear happened to get too close, then spraying just a bit of it into the air would irritate the bear’s sensitive sense of smell, and he would then make his way off.

The last bit of advice was to keep an eye out for bear scat, which would inform them whether or not bears were in the area. Well-informed hikers should have no trouble distinguishing black and brown bear scat from grizzly bear scat.

And so one day a man and his wife, novices to the adventures of hiking, were standing at the head of the trail, staring at this sign. They were debating whether or not they needed to make a quick trip to the gift shop before heading up the trail. The husband didn’t think it was necessary, and the wife thought it was a good idea.

Just then one of the park workers was walking by, and so the wife quickly asked him. “How do you tell the difference between different kinds of scat?”

He stopped, and scratched his chin for a moment, thinking. “Well,” he said. “Black and brown bear droppings are smaller, and you can usually see berries, leaves, and sometimes little bits of fur.”

“Okay,” the two said. “And what about grizzlies?”

“Oh, you can’t make a mistake there. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them, and they smell like pepper spray.”

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Jsm
Jsm
2 months ago

Since I live in Alaska I have heard renditions of that joke before. However your version has a factual error. Grizzly bears are a kind of brown bear. They are, in general, smaller than brown bears and live more inland. Brown bears typically live near the coast and can get as large as polar bears.

Sam Rutherford
Sam Rutherford
2 months ago
Reply to  Jsm

Doug, you know it is rough out there when your jokes are getting fact checked!

kyriosity
kyriosity
2 months ago

Here’s one from my Yellowstone days:

Q: How do you tell a black bear from a grizzly?

A: If you see a bear, climb a tree. If the bear climbs up after you and eats you, it’s a black bear. If the bear knocks the tree down and eats you, it’s a grizzly.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
2 months ago

Grizzlies are more ferocious! I hiked glacier national Park with bear bells…*during Mt. St. Helen’s erupted….everyone wore bear bells.
A couple were mauled to death at glacier national Park..camping out near a dumpster…and the scent of food was the bait…

That's Rich
That's Rich
2 months ago

What do you get when you cross a grizzly with an egg?

Yolky bear.