When God Appears to Be Telling Some Nondescript Open Road Somewhere That It Is Time to Step It Up
Jokes I Like to Tell
One time there was a minister of a small country church, and in the course of his ministrations one Sunday he noticed, in the second row back, that one of his parishioners had fallen asleep, stone cold sleeping, and with a slight snore to go with it. The minister fell silent, and looked at this sleeping gentleman for a moment, and the whole congregation saw that he was looking, and they began to wonder what was going to happen. When that notion took root, everybody perked up a little.
The minister looked back at the congregation and said, almost in a whisper he said, “I would like everyone in this church who wants to go to heaven to please stand.” They all saw that he was up to something, and so, taking great care to make no noise, the entire congregation rose to their feet. The entire congregation, I say, but I am of course excepting the one lone sleeper. He slept on.
“Very good,” the minister then said. “I only wish it had been unanimous. Please be seated.” And the whole congregation quietly sat, making scarcely any noise at all.
“And now,” the minister said, “I would like everybody in this congregation who wants to go to Hell, to please STAND UP!!!” And with the last few words, his almost whisper became a roar. The sleeping parishioner, naturally enough, jolted awake, and leapt to his feet. Everybody in the sanctuary was just looking at him, quietly, saying nothing. The preacher was standing behind the pulpit, looking at him.
He, in his turn, looked around the room, to either side, and also behind him. He then turned back to the minister and said, “Well, parson, I have to confess that I don’t rightly know what we are voting on. But it looks like you and me are the only ones for it.”
Is Scott Adams Following Me Around?
In the aftermath of that Vice article, a friend sent me this: