Words to Live By
Jokes I Like to Tell
Once there were two cousins who were both farmers and ranchers, but one of them lived in Vermont, and the other one was a native born Texan. They knew each other fairly well because they had always gotten along fairly well at family reunions, and they kept in touch over the years via email and such. Their wives would send Christmas and birthday cards, and so, taking one thing with another, they got on well enough.
This lasted until one time the Texans decided to visit their “Yankee kin” up north, and so they came up to visit for a week. Things were swell for the first couple of days, until the Texas rancher began to let comments slip about the size of everything back home.
When he saw his cousin’s swimming pool, he thought it was the size of a postage stamp, but what he said was that it a “lot smaller” than their pool back home. Then one evening in casual conversation over drinks, the Texan let it be known that their home back in Texas was three times the size of this New England farmhouse. The Vermont folks were gracious enough, but a few more days went by, and those comments began to appear more frequently, and it was starting to get really tedious.
One morning the two men got up because the Vermont cousin was going to give him a tour around the perimeter of the whole farm. As they were climbing into the pick up truck, the Texan asked how long it was going to take. “Oh, about an hour,” his cousin said. “We’ll be back well before lunch.”
The Texan feigned surprise. “That’s remarkable,” he said. “You know, back home, I could get up at five in the morning, hit the road, and by lunchtime, I wouldn’t be halfway across my property yet.”
His cousin looked at him silently for a moment, and then said, “Yeah. I used to have a truck like that.”
More Words to Live By
Open Road in the Gloaming
More here, as always.
Rand Paul’s YouTube channel was suspended for a week due to that video.
When an agent of the state has his boot on your neck, does it matter in the least whether that boot is on a conservative foot or a socialist foot? The tyrannical impulse beats in every human heart.
Senator Rand Paul — and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis — are good examples of John Calvin’s resistance of the Lesser Magistrate, right?
I’ve heard a similar joke, but in the end the Yankee, fed up with hearing about how everything is bigger in Texas, slips some lobsters into the Texan’s bed. That night, he slips under the covers and a lobster scurries over his legs and pinches his foot. He leaps out of bed with a yelp and runs downstairs. When he explains that some sort of giant bug ran up his leg and bit him, his cousin replies calmly, “Now don’t tell me you don’t have bed bugs in Texas!”