The Content Cluster Muster (05.27.21)

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Mozart on Banjo

The toothpick kind of gives it away . . .

Jokes I Like to Tell

Late one Friday afternoon, a minister was walking through his sanctuary on the way to his car. As it happened, the afternoon sun broke through the clouds and hit the stained glass window of the sanctuary, and a beam of variegated colors shone down on the table in front of the pulpit, and lit up the gold cross that was there.

The minister was overcome with emotion and religious fervor, and he ran down to the front of the church, fell prostate in front of the table, and began crying out, “O Lord, I am nothing! I am nothing!”

He had been doing this for a few minutes when his associate minister happened to come through the sanctuary, and he too saw the same thing—the sunbeam shining through the stained glass, the cross, everything. In addition, he saw his minister on the floor, crying out that he was nothing. He too was overcome, and he ran down to the front of the church, fell on his face, and began crying out, “O Lord, I too am nothing!”

A moment later, the church janitor came into the sanctuary, carrying a mop bucket. He saw same spectacle of light, and these two men of God down at the front of the church abasing themselves, and naturally he was almost instantly overcome. He dropped his bucket where he stood, ran down to the front of the church, fell on his face, and added his voice to theirs. “O Lord, I am nothing, I am nothing!”

After a minute, the associate minister heard him, and looked over and saw the janitor. When he saw who it was, he nudged the minister on his other side and said, “Get a load of who thinks he’s nothing.”

One of the Risks

Open Road and Trees

More here, and here you go.

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nathan smith
nathan smith
3 months ago

“Because if the banjo was any good… the Beatles would have used it.” – John McEuen.

Very nice vid.

Does anyone know the name of this technique – where he uses the stick, or whatever it is?

kyriosity
kyriosity
3 months ago
Reply to  nathan smith

Nathan — It looks like a bow. I found a video using a violin bow (https://youtu.be/bnsO7A9fwDU), and he seems to indicate that such a thing as a banjo bow exists, so perhaps that’s what this fellow is using…or perhaps it’s something he’s improvised.

Mert Nixon
Mert Nixon
3 months ago

I like this joke. A woman bought her son two shirts. They were just alike, one in red and one blue. He came out of his room wearing the red one. She gave him A LOOK and said “What’s the matter, you don’t like the blue one?”

Robert
Robert
3 months ago

Wow. Pastor Doug, that is one of the best jokes I have ever heard! Great!! (I guess it hits me where I live). Can’t wait to share it with my dad.
Along the lines of (but much more powerful than the oldie but goodie… “They gave me a medal for my humility, but they took it away when I wore it”

Elizabeth is weird
Elizabeth is weird
3 months ago

Catholics be like…..the insense makes them smell godly too. 😂

Robert
Robert
3 months ago

surprised that so few have reacted to that joke!
It is hilarious and powerful.
ha, I must be the only truly humble one around here who gets it!! :)
…….. or rather, maybe the only self-righteous one :(

Malachi Tarchannen
Malachi Tarchannen
3 months ago

Here’s a joke for you, if you don’t mind me sharing…
A roofer was replacing shingles one afternoon when his foot slipped, he lost his balance, and began to slide swiftly toward the edge and certain injury or death. “Lord, help me!” he cried out.
At that moment, his beltloop caught on a forgotten shingle nail poking up from the decking, arresting his fall to the ground.
“Oh, never mind,” he said.

Robert
Robert
3 months ago

Good one! :)