A Worthy Project to Support
NSA Virtual Visit
And more here, as always . . .
A Song I Really Like for Some Reason
State Troopers Taking Someone to the Principal’s Office
New Dating Standards
Jokes I Like to Tell
Once there was a hit man for the Mafia, and his name was Arthur. There is no reason it shouldn’t have been, but there it is. His name was Arthur.
One day a man approached him about the prospect of doing a job on the side, and so Arthur agreed. “Who is it?” he asked. When his client told him, Arthur’s eyes brightened. “That guy? I hate that guy. Man, I’ll do this job for free.”
But his client really wanted to pay to have it done so that he could say that he was the one who ordered the hit. He needed to report back to someone about it, and everything needed to be in order. So Arthur and his client haggled for a bit, like two friends arguing about the check at a restaurant, and they finally agreed that Arthur would conduct the hit for the nominal free of one dollar.
Now some of you are worrying about this joke being a little dark, but you needn’t worry. You can let your kids keep reading.
So Arthur began to tail his mark, and over the course of a week he got a very good understanding of this man’s (very) regular habits. And as a result, Arthur decided that the best place to conduct the hit would be during the course of the man’s weekly visit to the grocery store. So the next time this man went shopping, Arthur followed him into the store. The man did his shopping early so there was hardly anyone in the store. The man went back to the produce section, and Arthur snuck up behind him and silently, professionally, garroted him.
But there had been one miscalculation. A store employee came out of the back room at just that moment, and saw the whole thing. Arthur was still cool and did what he had to do, which was to garrot his second victim. But just then, some customer walked around the corner, and Arthur started to panic, and garroted his third victim.
With that, Arthur decided to run, but was tackled by a stock boy in the parking lot, and was arrested, tried, and convicted for his awful crime.
But the worst thing about the whole episode was the headline:
Artie Chokes Three for a Dollar at Safeway.
Remember That Time . . . ?
Keep This In Mind
Why Don’t You Have This Book Yet?
Dominion or Ruin
This book is a series of observations and sketches about many different aspects of ordinary life, considered in the light of our commitment to “all of Christ for all of life.” Over the course of three years I sent these out as weekly meditations to the saints of Christ Church, who bore this additional trial with their usual fortitude.
That was a knee-slapper, but it’s spelled garrote. Garrot is a type of duck.