The Meaning of Christmas
You Know, Whatever
The Dog Is Looking the Wrong Way
A Song I Really Like for Some Reason
And there’s a dirty organ solo in this one that gets the chef’s kiss.
If Andromeda Were Just a Tad Brighter
Jokes I Like to Tell
One time a little boy was talking with his mother about what he had learned in Sunday school that morning, and his mother was really enjoying the conversation.
“What was the lesson on?” she asked.
“Oh, we learned about how Moses led the people of Israel out of Egypt,” her son said.
“Tell me about it,” his mother replied, handing him a warm cookie.
He thanked her for the cookie, but then put it down on his napkin and began to talk excitedly.
“Well, when Moses decided that it was time for his people to go free, he gave a signal to his commandos, and they began blowing up all kinds of Egyptian resources—bridges, depots, and that kind of thing . . .”
His mom wasn’t listening too carefully at first, but after a second her eyes got wide, and she began listening intently.
“But Pharaoh told Moses that it would take a lot more than that to get him to let the people go. And so Moses decided that more pressure was needed, so he called up his militia, and they fought several sharp battles with the Egyptian forces, and they did pretty well, beating the Egyptians back. And so Pharaoh said they could go.”
“Yeah, he did. And so Moses marched the people out to the banks of the Red Sea, and everybody wondered what he was going to do then. And so Moses called up a company of engineers, and they quickly built a huge pontoon bridge. But as the people were crossing, they saw that Pharaoh had changed his mind, and he was sending his army after them, a whole tank division.”
His mother was fascinated with all of this, in spite of herself, and she said, “Go on.”
“Well, Moses told his people to get off that pontoon bridge quick, which they did, but then Pharaoh and his tanks started to cross. And so Moses called in an airstrike, and just as Pharaoh’s troops were in the middle of the bridge, the airplanes blew it sky high.”
His mother was quite concerned. Her husband was an elder in the church, and it was clear they needed to conduct some kind of review of the teaching staff. “And that’s what they told you this morning in Sunday school?”
“Oh, no,” her son replied. “If I told you what they said, you’d never believe me.”