“She was doing pretty well until about three minutes into his presentation. He gestured expansively, with the kind of gesture that he had found so effective in the impressing of freshman girls, and Maria almost lost it. His right hand moved languidly toward the ceiling, and Dr. Rollins was unable to keep himself from looking at it as it went. The board members, being all men, didn’t notice, but Maria did, and started biting her forefinger.”
In Which I Consider the Propriety of Tying a Bandanna Around My Head and Coming Off the Top Ropes
Introduction: I speak, of course, in metaphors. Yesterday the prime minister of India put a billion people, more or less, into lock down. He did this because there was a "spike" in cases -- ...
Audio Reading of Post
More Like Tomoyto
“‘Some might have expected a flood of controversy like this to damage our . . . testimony.’ He remembered just in time that Dr. Tom hated the word brand, and so he veered at the last minute over to testimony. Tomayto, tomahto.”
Our Letter Carrier Takes the Curve
Letter to the Editor: I really appreciate your post - Three Reasons Why the White House Must Not Panic. My husband and I own a small business in Pennsylvania. As news of the coronavirus began ...
Not Ready at All
“The carpet was a rich burgundy color, and the wainscot around the room was a nicely matched cherry. The room was solemn, elegant, dignified, and not ready for the meeting that was about to happen in it.”
Three Reasons Why the White House Must Refuse to Panic
Introduction: I can only imagine what kind of pressure the White House is currently getting, and when the imagination gets going, I think I can describe for you what kind of doomsday scenarios are being played out for them and run by them, with graphs, pie charts, oscillating models on computer screens, and all the …
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With Rust Up and Down the Blades
“This photoshop work must have been done with scissors stolen from a kindergartner, along with some library paste taken from the teacher lady. And while I am on the general subject, that Pledge of Allegiance edit job at KMOZ must have been done with a pair of hedge clippers that hadn’t been oiled for six years.”
Well, You Know, Er . . .
If Hipsters Were Eagles
“His name was Montaine Jacobs, which usually embarrassed him, and so he just went by Em. He was up in his office, which was high in the rafters of an old Portland warehouse. He got to it by means of a rope ladder he bought off an old fishing trawler that he found one time in a maritime salvage yard. There was a catwalk around the edges of the warehouse for the less adventurous secretaries. He liked it up there. If hipsters had eyries, his would be the one at the very tippy top. Better than Gwaihir’s.”
Maybe Most of It
“As if in evidence of this, she came in still humming a Celtic version of Psalm 84. Her singing voice was several notches above the one that Trevor had fallen in love with on the phone, and when he heard her singing her solo part on this one at the end-of-term concert, he was going to augur in. Even was a little bit more than dimly aware of the effect she was having on him, but she didn’t mind. Some of it was on purpose”