“‘I am an easygoing man,’ he once told Cindi. ‘I take things in stride. I try to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. I don’t fluster really. So why does this woman make me want to jump up and down on the hassock here, yelling and waving the remote?’ Cindi had been unsympathetic to his dilemma. ‘Because you watch the news on Channel 4? Instead of switching it?’”
Idiocracy
Introduction: Way back in the early eighties it was, and I read a book by Reagan’s treasury secretary, a gent named William Simon. The book was called Time for Truth, and somewhere in the course ...
Audio Reading of Post
The Sultry Sage
[He] “discovered in the process that Robert, in addition to his prowess in allegations of wrongdoing when it came to inappropriate touching by pastors, was also a true pasty blogger poet with greasy brown hair hanging in the eyes just right, and a sleepy look that suggested profundity more than bewilderment. Which just goes to show.”
The Devil’s Smoothies
Introduction: Well before the Revoice conference sought to carve out a place for smooth men in the evangelical and Reformed world, that way had already been prepared for them long before. Now ...
Try to Think of Others
Wound Really Tight
“In short, he was a very sore and fanatically gnat-strangling ex-employee, and he had three months of unemployment coming in which he might be able to settle at least a few scores. All his scruples were wound tight around his axle, and the more he gunned the engine, the more things were starting to smoke deep inside his head.”
Preeminently Stampedable
Introduction: The inimitable Iowahawk recently tweeted this: “Campuses today are a theatrical mashup of 1984 and Lord of the Flies, performed by people who don't understand these references.” ...
Audio Reading of Post
A Detail Man, in Other Words
“He was a classic paper-clip counter, correct-department-code-numbers-for-the-copying-machine maintainer, and one who generally focused on pennies, policies, and those blank ‘spirit of the law’ spaces in between the lines of all written procedures—but only so long as the ‘spirit of the law’ was interpreted and applied by a committee of first-century Talmudic scholars, all of whom had the disposition of a caged cinnamon bear with a sore head. Somewhat surly, in other words, in a passive-aggressive, muted sort of way.”
Letters from the Four Corners
Letter to the Editor: Amen, and amen!! I used to be white, but then I did some work outdoors. Now I'm a redneck. In all seriousness--which is hard to do after that laugh-inducing piece--have ...
Filed Under A
“John Mitchell began to feel like something hot and wet was crawling up his spine . . . This was beginning to feel like a setup. John began to look suspiciously around the kitchen. ‘What do you want?’ Cindi asked him. ‘I’ll get it for you.’ ‘I want,’ John said darkly, ‘answers.’ ‘You’re the pastor,’ Sandy said brightly. ‘I bet those are back in your study.’”