Their Favorite Kind of Lazy River

“He had only been a true believer for a couple of years at the beginning because he had been intelligent enough to figure out what was going on with the numbers. But by the time he figured it out completely, he was already floating on an inner tube down a lazy river of cash grants, and he realized that if he told the world what he now knew, that lazy river of cash grants would go flow somewhere else”

Ecochondriacs, p. 157

When Bacteria Bleat

Introduction: One of our great problems in the church today is that we have forgotten some of the basics when it comes to giving an answer for the hope that is in us (1 Pet. 3:15). Unbelievers, created as they are in the image of God, have a deep desire to be rational and human, …

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Pronounery

That had been given to them by an overworked staffer at the DNC who had needed to get a few things off his desk. I use the phrase his desk advisedly because this staffer, now going by Heather, was already transitioning, with fake breasts and everything, and to apply the old pronoun might entail legal difficulties for, as the Victorians would have put it, the present writer. But the legal team for the Satiric Writers Guild is a crackerjack team in every respect, and so I have made the decision to simply proceed. Let it stand. Stet. Whatever the editors may say about it, stet. Where was I?”

Ecochondriacs, p. 132