Last week I urged you to come freely to this Table, even if there is a sin gnawing at your conscience, and you know that you have not done what you ought to have done to put that sin right. You know that you need to, and you even know that you are going to. Nevertheless, you are fearful of any number of things—loss of reputation, humiliation, embarrassment, and so on.
You need the help of God in doing what you know you need to do, and here it is—the Table is set, and it is set with the help of God. Now I am not saying this because it is alright to cover up sins that ought to be confessed openly. It is not alright. But you need help—and here it is.
Always remember that this Table is not the reward we get for being such good little children. It is food, not a set of prizes. There are times when children are sent to bed without their dinner, but it is a fundamental error to come to see this event as a reward. It is nothing of the kind. This is the grace of God, which, if you are struggling in your conscience, is something you obviously need.
Suppose in a moment of weakness you cheated on a test two years ago, and your conscience has not stopped clamoring at you since. It is dangerous to ignore that persistent voice, and the danger is that you will eventually become deaf to it. Your conscience is tired and weak—it is hard work trying to talk sense into you—and your conscience needs food and nourishment. Well, here it is. So long as you know what you are doing, feed your conscience, and feed it freely.
As I mentioned last week, you are not defiant, but you are stuck. That sin has to be dealt with, and you know it. Well, come here for help and strength in dealing with it. Take the nourishment. Part of the reason you feel so hypocritical coming to this Table is that you are thinking of it as a reward for being good, and your conscience has been telling you insistently that you are not good. And you have been ignoring that conscience diligently, which would be enough to make anyone miserable.
But you are not miserable because you are coming here to the Lord’s Table. You are miserable because you are not coming to Him for strength. You do not want to tell that teacher about the time you cheated because you know that he or she thinks highly of you as a student. “But what about, but what about . . .”
Again, you are welcome here. But you are welcome on the Lord’s terms, not your own, and you must always remember that He is dealing with you here. One of the things He is doing is providing you with the strength to be humble, the strength to put things right. Tell your sister you are sorry, tell your teacher you cheated, tell your friends that you were catty about them.
Tell God about it at the beginning of the service, tell them about it after the service, and get strength for the task here and now.