Corner Rights for Tapioca

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As the same sex marriage issue is now before the Supreme Court, just a few observations. It is important that we get this straight, because the next case before them concerns the right of circles to be square, and if a bad precedent is set on this same sex marriage case, the next case is going to play havoc with a lot of our engineering. A handful of circles have wanted to have four corners for a long time now, and in these enlightened times, who are we to continue to bruise their feeling by denying them four corners? The ruling elites will brook no compromise, and the offer of some states to give circles at least two civilly-recognized corners has been rejected flat out. And of course, we don’t have time to go into the circles that want six or more corners.

Well, you know, one grants, in the abstract, that we are not really giving circles four corners, but are rather changing the definition of what it means to be circular. But no matter, we press on. It helps if you shut your eyes.

But once we have changed the definitions, good building and bridges will continue to stand, and bad ones will fall. Of course, we could always press the Court to change the definitions of stress, torque, and load. That might work. And we could outlaw heavy snow loads.

The challenge will actually be in the public safety hearings. Naturally, it will be hard for the inspectors to testify about this under oath, because what this legal imbroglio will have done is make it illegal to point out that circles don’t have corners, whatever you say. The point has never been to get circles to have corners, which we can’t do, but rather to brutally punish anyone who says they can’t, which we most certainly can do.

Here is a link to an exchange between Ryan Anderson, one of the good guys, and Piers Morgan and Suze Orman. One friend of mine observes that Suze believes marriage to be rainbows, puppies and venture capitalism. I would add that Morgan’s line of argument quivers like a tapicoa pudding in a high wind. One almost feels bad. One almost wishes that tapioca could have corners too.

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