Calvinism and Conspiracy

We live in a time when conspiratorial theories abound, and when tracts, screeds, and web sites advancing such theories proliferate. If you have the time, you might want to research and answer every box on the flow chart (the one with the Masons, the Illuminati, and the Bilderberg Group on it). But if you don’t have time (and you shouldn’t, really), a far more effective antidote is simply to become a robust Calvinist. If you already are a Calvinist, then perhaps you should just rededicate your life.

As Jonathan Kay has observed, one of the basic features of the conspiratorial mindset is a deep belief in the hypercompetence of the evil cabal that runs the world. But the Calvinist believes that the Holy Spirit runs the world, and that the conspiracies that do exist to resist Him are to be considered on a spiritual level with the Keystone Kops. The Lord laughs; He holds them in derision.

There is a theme that holds all history together, but the only one who understands that theme is the one who composed it. If God freely and unalterably ordains whatsoever comes to pass, and He does, then this does not really leave any space for a wicked singularity that orchestrated the death of JFK and the fall of the Twin Towers, not to mention everything in between and on either side. This singularity, if you are curious, is best represented by an octopus of a Jew on a pile of skulls, and a bag of gold in each tentacle. If you are not skeeered yet, then perhaps you might still have time to read “this material” (that will make it all clear), as you flee to the wilds of Montana.

A conspiracist is not someone who believes that conspiracies exist. Of course they exist. A conspiracist is one who believes that the conspiracies are working and effective, that they have their act together.

Conspiracism is therefore a failure of biblical imagination. Just as screenplay writers these days fail to grip our attention with ordinary threats, which means they have to constantly pull out a megathreat which, if not addressed by our hero, WILL DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD (call it dramatic tension inflation), so also the “screenplay” writers for the latest conspiracy hot seller need to have a hypercompetent and very, very evil CIA — the latest iteration of the Knights Templar. And they, in case you didn’t know, used to mistreat the Jews from time to time as a front, as a false operation like Operation Northwoods. And why? Need you ask . . .?

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