Out of the primeval mudpits happened one-celled life (amoebic life!)
And suddenly, for no reason at all, this life began to multiply (multiply!)
And the evening and the morning were the first 3 zillion years.
Pretty soon the ocean was filled with little beasties (it was filled!)
And then these hardy pioneers got more complicated (by accident!)
And the Society for the Prevention of God said amen (ah-ah-a-men!)
But among these children of chance were some malcontents (dissatisfied!)
Said they were tired of the water (waterlogged!)
So they crawled up on the beach and grew nostrils.
Looking back, we see the dry guys made the right choice (their choice was good!)
Because they evolved all the way up to man (and man is good!)
While those who held back only made it up to dolphin.
But does this mean that man is nothing but a mere protoplasmic accident? (no indeed!)
On the contrary, we hold that man is special (man’s unique!).
You see, man has an opposable thumb.
So the next time life’s got you down, just remember (you’ve got thumbs!)
And you don’t know why you exist or where you’re going (but you’ve got thumbs!)
Enough to make you weep for joy.