One of the things we do routinely whenever we baptize a child is take a vow as a congregation. We vow to help these Christian parents in the covenant nurture of the child being baptized. This is generally a feel good moment because who doesn’t like to see parents committing themselves to bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
But vows made during feel good moments are no less binding when nobody feels good about the situation at all. That is why we make the vows in the first place. We tie the knots in the light so that they will be secure when we are going through a dark and slippery time.
We live in a small community. As we are considering the subject of child-rearing in these messages, I know that there are a number of parents who are struggling—to varying degrees—with how to apply what the Bible teaches in this area. If you are struggling, the chances are good that those close to you know about the struggles, although they may not know the extent of it. But it is also possible that they see more clearly than you do because they are not in the thick of it.
God loves humility. If you are struggling with this, surrender your pride, and ask for help. Husbands, help to lead your wives in asking for help. Ask a family you know and respect, and whose children are past the age that you are dealing with, and seek their advice. Seek their counsel, and assure them that you won’t take offense at what they say. An admonition from the righteous is oil on the head (Ps. 141:5).
And for those who are asked, be clear and be gentle. This is part of the meaning of the vow you take at our baptisms. Be clear because no struggling parent was ever helped by vapory platitudes. Be gentle because we live in a time when many parents are trying to give what they never received. If you know how to do it, it seems like the simplest thing in the world. But if you don’t know, you don’t know, and nobody is helped if the experienced parents just roll their eyes and feel superior. That is not part of our vows either.
We are all in this together.
Lots of wisdom here! And parents’ groups are also an effective means of evangelism.
Besides parenting advice, how can the congregation fulfill the vow to help the parents raise the kids?