A Wireless Kingdom

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In conversation with a friend this morning, a thought came to mind that I thought I would pass on. We were talking about the world in which things like twerking and Miley Cyrus can happen — the realm of pop culture and all the bubbles floating around it. And every bubble that floats by right this minute thinks that all the bubbles that perished five minutes ago were “dated.”

Let me limit this observation to those who know that there is a big problem “out there,” and who have done something about it. Their kids are in private school or home-schooled, they hear sermons about “worldview thinking,” they have entertainment standards in their home that actually function, and — in short — they have the disapproval down. They know what to disapprove of, and that they disapprove. The curriculum is basically okay. As my friend put it, we have eighty percent down — but when we put out to sea, I don’t want to do so with eighty percent of the hull intact.

We have everything except for what actually matters. What is going on in that remaining twenty percent? You have lyrics of pop songs that are perfectly foul, and you don’t know where the kids could have possibly even heard them. You have kids who know ten times more than you do about how to install and remove porn filters. You have kids who display the remarkable (and apparently inconsistent) ability to know all the lyrics to a song while simultaneously knowing nothing whatever about those lyrics. So you have good Christian kids who have been instructed in the eighty percent, and who, in a glaring disconnect, are simply incapable of understanding what the problem with the twenty percent could possibly be.

Now the task of Christian parents, when it comes to worldliness (to lapse for a moment into the biblical terminology for this), is to communicate a sense of disenchantment, not just disapproval. Don’t take this wrong — disapproval should be a base-line given, and it should be there and functioning. But that is not where the action is. Our task is demythologizing what the world is doing, not shaking a censorious finger at it.

It is like explaining a magic trick. When a child sees an illusionist doing something remarkable, he is amazed. But if someone explains in detail how the trick is accomplished, where all the wires are, it will no longer be possible for him not to see the trick.

Two things are necessary here. One, the person explaining the trick has to understand it himself, and secondly, he must have the loyalty of the person he is explaining it to. If he is muddled about the trick, his explanation will just be bombast — disapproval masquerading as explanation. But the last thing we need here is ignorance on fire. If a parent or pastor tries to tell the kids a bunch of things about pop culture that are manifestly untrue, whatever else we say about it, we can affirm that he is not helping.

Second, the matter of loyalty is not a trifle. If you explain the trick, and you don’t have the loyalty and affection of the one who are explaining it to, all you are doing is bursting bubbles and making people angry. Few things are as capable of angering people as the process of demythologizing can. The deeper the enchantment, the deeper the anger — which is why parents must be inculcating loyalty in their children from day one. Incidentally, you don’t inculcate loyalty by demanding it. You inculcate loyalty by showing it. But that is another theme for another time.

If someone loves the world (and refuses to be disenchanted), what is the problem? The love of the Father is not in him (2:15). As I have said in numerous contexts, the task that parents have is not that of getting their kids to conform to the standard. That part is easy, at least for a time. The task is to get them to love the standard. But learning to love the law of the Father’s house is not possible without loving the Father of the house.

This cannot be accomplished with rules, laws, or worldview seminars. The letter kills, and the truer the letters, the deader you get. Moralism operates with visible gears, and worldliness functions with invisible wires. That’s the only way twerking could happen, incidentally — somebody, the devil most likely, was jerking on the wires.

But the kingdom of God is wireless.

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RB
RB
10 years ago

It’s important for us all to remember that everyone is trying to sell us something all the time. Some of what’s being sold is good and some of it’s not, but that doesn’t alter the inescapable fact that the world is full of salesmen. When your three-year-old is racing down the cereal aisle at the grocery store and going for the eye-level box of Trix (which are for kids, you know), the colorful box and the toy inside are not accidents of nature. He’s buying and he doesn’t even know that anyone sold him anything. Kellogg knows what they’re doing… Read more »

Ianopolis
Ianopolis
10 years ago

I am the father of 11. My oldest just turned 13. We homeschool and have done a decent job of monitoring their media intake (particularly the internet). I doubt my 13 year old daughter could tell you one thing about Miley Cyrus though she may have heard the name. That being said, this article hit a nerve. I have come to the realization that putting up fences in my kids lives is not going to be enough as they get older. I realize the fences won’t hold them if there’s nothing inside the fence that captivates them. I want my… Read more »

David Douglas
David Douglas
10 years ago

I read this blog religiously (and, no, I don’t mean every Christmas and Easter) and I think most posts are more than a-cut-above. I have learned a lot. But, this has to be one of the best posts I have ever read.

Thank you, Doug.

bethyada
10 years ago

The free dictionary does not have an entry for “twerking.” So I asked my teenaged daughter what the word meant. She knew! though was not keen on explaining it. Kind of proves your first point.

josh
josh
10 years ago

Doug – can you give us an example of what that looks like or point to a post in which you’ve done so? Such a helpful concept.

Katie
Katie
10 years ago

This post was excellent and gave clarity to something I’ve been trying to figure out for a while. Thank you. I have heard/read (from you) about “loving the standard” a number of times — most recently in “Standing On The Promises” which I just finished. I don’t feel like I have a very good picture of what this looks like or how it’s done, and would also really appreciate if you’d elaborate on this or suggest some good resources. I have a one year old and I want *very much* to be able to teach him and any other children… Read more »

Evan
10 years ago

Excellent stuff. The loyalty part stung a bit and helped clarify some needed changes in my parenting. Please expand on that at some point.

RebeccaC
10 years ago

Beautiful article. As a parent of 6 teenagers/young adults, this article strummed my heartstrings! All six of my kids love the Lord and desire to serve Him with their lives, but lately we’ve seen so much heartache in friends’ families…and families who really seemed like they “had it together”. It causes us to spend time as a family praying for our friends — God’s grace is abounding in our crew and I thank you for verbalizing so well what has been churning in my mind during the past few weeks.

Blessings to your family!!

Alana Stulen
Alana Stulen
10 years ago

Growing up Christian my family, passionate about living separated and differently than the world. We thought we were the “Untouchables” We were wrong! It was The Holy Spirit that kept me and through the Word planted in my heart, brought me to my knees and made all the difference! It was through prayer I returned from my disillusionment! My parents did not understand how a good Christian girl like me could have fallen into all kinds of sin, until we realized that people in the Christian community can often be disillusioned about their hearts. Evil is in the Christian School,… Read more »

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

I am the oldest child. One of my childhood friends who lived on the next street over, was the youngest of seven. I learned a lot of bad things at his house. Fine, your kid is in the Christian school. The three kids on the block who are your kid’s age are in government school. Do you try and isolate your kids?

Gretchen
10 years ago

“Second, the matter of loyalty is not a trifle.” Simply an excellent point that works in the background but is so much more important than just an afterthought! So so good.

J
J
10 years ago

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DanielBlowes
DanielBlowes
10 years ago

Ok, here’s how I demythologised it to myself as I viewed it: She was brought up in show business and is now (almost) hopelessly addicted to the praise and attention of the world/media.

As she lacks originality/talent the price of admission is the debasement of her sexuality/human dignity; the debasement is equal to the lack of talent.

One more thing. Jesus died for her.

Chris
Chris
10 years ago

It’s important that parents not fear popular culture, even though it is often a conduit for wickedness. Find the morsels of truth and beauty that exist and emphasize those to your kids. This, of course, requires that parents take the time to take in and understand pop culture. But, just like when we ask someone who rails against God if they’ve ever actually read the bible, our ignorance of pop culture keeps us in the dark and incapable of discussing it with our kids. Truth in the mouth of Baal is still truth. It takes knowledge and wisdom to discern… Read more »

Corina Treece
Corina Treece
10 years ago

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K. Swanson
K. Swanson
10 years ago

Thank you, Mr. Wilson, for this exhortation. You have the heart of the matter exactly right.